Flirting with Disqualification
by Rkox
Summary: People always said, there would be a match that changed their life's forever. Neither of them ever dreamed it would be like this. John Cena/ Randy Orton. M/M SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

_**Centon.**_

_**Title: Flirting with Disqualification.**_

_**Pairing: John Cena/Randy Orton.**_

_**Rating: NC 17.**_

_**Warnings : Some bad language and gay sex.**_

_**Summary : People always said, there would be a match that changed their life's forever. Neither of them ever dreamed it would be like this. John Cena/ Randy Orton. M/M SLASH!**_  
><em><strong><br>Disclaimer: I do not own, any of the wwe superstars mentioned.**_

_**Author's Note : This will forever go down in history as the sexiest match & I am about to make it harder for you to watch it with a clean mind. I regret nothing.**_

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><p>Everyone always said, there comes a time in your career. A match that will change your life &amp; future all together. The closer it got to my match. Somehow I knew it would be this one. John &amp; I had always been friends, since we both started out, we where always together in arenas, training etc. Today however, every time I so much as looked at him I felt sick.<p>

It wasn't like a bad feeling, I knew nothing was going to go wrong, we had had so many matches together, we knew each other inside out.

It was like we know something major is going to happen & change things for us. I took a deep breath as I tried to get into character. I thought of every single thing that had ever happened to me, every single bad thing, bullies in school, dad being gone all the time, joining the marines, pulling out of the marines, doing my time.

Every bad thing.

My head started to swarm & I knew I was in character. My heart was pumping full of rage, and I was ready to put on the show of a lifetime.

I stood in the gorilla position, waiting, pacing.

"Whatever happens out there?" I turned knowing the voice, my jaw clenched as I tried to hold down the contents of my dinner. I nodded.

"Stays out there" I slapped his hand, then continued to pace while he stretched.

Before too long, I was picking up my belt & heading down the ramp slowly while Lilian rhymed off my facts. My brain still buzzed with sheer hatred & I bowed under the top rope.

Cena came sliding under and done his thing, I don't even remember the music changing. I took a few deep breaths as the bell rang and then we locked up. He pushed me and we ended up in the turnbuckle, he gave me a few shoulder blocks while i punched into his back, pulling me into him and pulling me off my feet landing me on my back I felt the twinge in my back I always felt when I was landed on my shoulders. I groaned inwardly tonight had to be the night my hyper-mobility would start playing up.

Cena took over from that point, I let him, knowing if I tried to do too much now, my shoulder would pop out of place and we would have to call the match short, something Vince would not be happy about.

I zoned out in & out of what what actually happening, trying to ignore the pain in my body, only really focusing when I had to, like now as I held John's head in my arms, running at the set up chair in front of me ready for an RKO (like I did on Monday Night Raw) , John pushed me away from him and shoulder tackled me and once again I landed on my back & shoulders. I yelled out in pain. He did it again & again, and just for good measure he lifted me high into the air and then dropped me.

He seen the pain I was in & went for a five knuckle shuffle. Because that's exactly what he is, a fucking wanker. I gritted my teeth knowing I was in for a long match with a lot of pain.

I tried to zone out once more letting my wrestling ability just take over, trying to beat down the sick feeling I had in my gut. Something even now was wrong, something was changing.

I tossed Cena towards the steel steps on the outside of the ring. The ref asked him if he was ready to quit, but of course he fucking wasn't that would make my life to easy.  
>I continued to stomp on him, but as it's John fucking Cena. He never quit. No matter how many times he got fucking asked, he would not quit.<p>

Is it really that hard to just submit? I rolled him into the ring & lifted up the apron. Grabbing out a small bag that had been placed there earlier, taking it out, rolling into the ring & reviling it's contents to the rest of the viewing world. I smiled sadistically as the long chain fell out along with the key.

The idea of being handcuffed to John Cena becoming more appealing with the second. I played the key around my neck. I turned placing one on Cena's wrist and another on the top rope. I walked to the other side of the rope playing with the key around my neck, smirking. Knowing Cena wasn't going anywhere fast. I bit my lip before turning back around.

He was just starting to stand up, I started to pound into his head, John playing weak & defenseless. He was a lot of things, weak & defenseless certainly where not two of them.

Once weak enough, I unhooked Cena from the rope and wrestled him out onto the floor, easily hanging him up onto the turnbuckle watching him hang there like a piece of meat ready to be cut up and sold. I smirked the sight looked inviting. His eyes met mine, something was different, something between us was changing.

I punched him a few more times, making him play dead once more,

"Do you want to quit Cena?"

"No" he added before spitting in my face. I took a deep breath, I felt every nerve in my body tense as I restrained myself from killing him where he hung, before going back to the array of weapons under the ring.I grabbed my personal favorite, a kendo stick.

Rage still pumping through me as the part of my face still slightly wet from his saliva. I lifted the stick high in the air before swinging it with everything I had at his abdomen. His whole body tensed and he cried out. The sound was addictive. I wanted to hear it again & again. I started swinging with no mercy or thought to the actual pain John would be feeling, just addicted to the harsh cry's leaving his mouth, and the protests of the rest of the wwe universe, enjoying this feeling of power far too much. I climbed the steps he was resting on, holding the stick to his throat, watching him splutter, begging for air, but still not ready to quit or submit. His bright blue eyes shinning with something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Suddenly pain coursed through me, as I fell to the ground. That dickhead just low blow'd me. Talk about desperation. Part of me felt oddly proud that I had the perfect Mr. Cenation in such a desperate state he had went for a low blow.

He got himself untangled as I had moved to the other side of the ring. His hands still restricted by the handcuffs around his wrists. I lifted up a chair, closing it over, watching as he stumbled over to me. I attacked him several times, his back turning an awkward shade of red from my assaults, I enjoyed it too much to be legal, the way his back arched each time I hit him. I unhooked one of the cuffs and half dragged his unwilling body towards the turnbuckles, attaching him to one.

He climbed up onto the apron, using it as support and I swung to hit him again using the chair. Cockily, I moved around going to hit him from another angle when he ducked, I stumbled from the amount of force I had put into the chair shot, and Cena capitalized by lifting me from the waist tossing me onto my back once more. I cried out, rolling off my bad shoulder. Willing the pain to go away I wasn't aware of anyone else in the building, regardless of the high number of them.

Cena had somehow come undone, and I left something cold wrap around my wrist. My eyes popped open as I realized he had attached himself to me, liked planned. The idea sent waves of rage, annoyance and god knows what else through me. I tried to pull away from him, without any real hope of getting anywhere.

He plain out attacked me, able to pull me in whenever I got too far away from him. I let him hit me, finding it somewhat comforting from the pain in my shoulders. He turned me running me face first into the commentators table which had somehow fixed itself since I had hit Cena with a monitor earlier before. Pulling me via wrist, like some bitch, he slammed me off the Spanish announce table and I was seriously starting to get irritated with these damned handcuffs.

He pulled me off as I struggled to stand, doing his Super Cena act as we all called it back stage, punched me and I fell to the ground, and once again hit my face off the English announce table. I felt a flair of rage tickle down my spin as we ended up back in the ring. He suplexed me a few times and I swear if he lands me on my shoulders one more time I am going to break him in half. When I refused to get up he stated punching into my head, an animal like growl sliding out from between his lips that sent the best kind of ripple through my body.

He stood us up for the AA and i countered it with an RKO, putting him in his place. Even if only for a moment.

Both of us on the ground eying each other lightly, Cena nodded once & we both knew it was now. Our time slot was almost up and it was time for the big finish. I started crawling towards the key near the turn buckle as John pulled hard on my arm which I was sure any second now would pop out of my socket, inconsiderate prick. I could hear myself screaming in pain as I was being pulled away from the handcuff key, I would be having words with him about this later, my shoulders where ready to give up.

Suddenly he shifted from behind me, wrapped my own arm around my face pulling it as hard as he could for the STFU. I felt something in my shoulder pop and I cried out in pain.

The Ref for what felt like the millionth time that night held the mic to my face, before he could even ask, I roared, "I quit! I quit"

The world blew up as I was un-cuffed from Cena, he done his celebration dance about the ring as I made my way back stage, quickly finding the personal trainer.

"Fix me" I demanded, as he stood behind me and popped my shoulder back into place. It hurt like hell, but then again so did the rest of me. I rolled my shoulder a few times before nodding to him.

"Thanks" I hissed, I should have been nice but I was livid. Yes everything had been prearranged. Yes, I signed a contract saying I would do it. No, I never thought it would matter this much, but instead of calming down from my match, I seemed to be getting worse.

Now? I wanted to kill him.

I stormed all the way through the arena, knowing full well he wouldn't be in the main locker room, but off somewhere alone, to unwind after the match.

Not, Fucking, Likely.

I banged on the door of a locked changing room, the door opened and John looked just as mad as I did. I pushed past him into the room.

"Yes Randy, feel free to come in" He snapped sarcastically.

"Fuck up John" I hissed eying him from the corner, unsure of my next move.

"Orton, I would advise you to get out" I ground my teeth together as we stared each other out, "Now"

"No." His fists clenched.

"You have some fucking nerve coming in here you know that?"

"Me?" I laughed outright, "I? HAVE Nerve? Are you looking in a fucking mirror right now?"

"Yes you after everything that's happened these last few months you have a fucking NERVE Orton"

"Oh fuck off! Like you're some fucking fallen Angel!-"

"You ATTACKED MY DAD-"

"You seriously STILL going on about that? It was fucking SCRIPTED!"

"I said I didn't want it too happen-"

"You told Vince to go ahead with it-"

"I Told Vince to be careful about it-"

"What you tell Vince for I was the one doing it-"

"I thought he would have said"

"If you had come to me, you wouldn't have your jorts in a fucking twist"

"Jorts? Who even still says that?"

"That's what you took from that REALLY?"

"I'm trying to ignore the fact you didn't think to come talk to me"

"I NEVER had this problem with Ted, Cody or ANY the other guys when I done it to their dads"

"Well I'm sorry my dad isn't a fucking HALL OF FAMER! He doesn't know how to wrestle properly!"

"Maybe you should have taught him - oh wait -"

"What's that supposed to fucking mean?"

"You completely fucked up that chair shot, not to mention-"

"ME? You landed me on my fucking head? ME? I'm the bad wrestler?"

"Yes you dickwad-"

"Name calling? Cute honestly, Maybe if you spent more time with you're dad instead of watching him he could have taught you how to drop people heavier than you-"

I snapped & grabbed him by the throat easily pushing him against the wall.

"Say something else Cena I dare you" I hissed into his ear.

"Your shoulder seems better" He spluttered with some difficulty.

"Thank you for noticing dickhead" I muttered tightening my grip around his throat, "Now you listen here Cena" I moved forward by an inch stopping suddenly when I felt something brush my leg. I looked down to see a visible hard-on. I looked back to John's face who now looked terrified, "You fucking slut you're actually enjoying this?" I pushed him harder against the wall and a whimper escaped his mouth. I watched him fight with his inner emotions.

"I don't know what you're talking about" He lied, it was obvious.

"My, My John you kept that quiet for a long time" I laughed, grinding my hips against, him. He stopped struggling enjoying the friction.

"I'm not fucking gay" he hissed. I licked my lips.

"The evidence suggests otherwise" I chuckled, once again enjoying the feeling of having control over him.

"Fuck you!" My eyes darkened, as I harshly gripped the bundle in his jeans. He squirmed seeming to enjoy the pain.

"I may submit to you in the ring John, but outside it" I laughed, "Not a chance" He some how managed to push me off of him. He tried to move around me, but I wouldn't let him.

He punched me, in the gut & I groaned lightly. Grabbing him to stop from doubling over, I glanced up at him. He tried to punch me again but I caught him managing to swing him around, pushing him back up against the wall, face first this time.

I ground against his ass noticing myself getting hard, I didn't know why, nor at this point in time did I care that this logic went against everything either of us where.

I bit into his neck, and his head rolled back falling onto my shoulder. It was so strange, the more I seemed to hurt him, the more he seemed to want & I was far to willing to hurt him.

I snaked my hands around his hips, pushing him back into me. He moaned and I had a split second flash back of hitting him with a kendo stick. I groaned.

"Tell me Cena, what exactly is going through that mind of you're right now?" I drawled out, slow & demanding.

I heard him gulp, "I uh" he stuttered and I smirked, "I don't that it's that hard to guess" I dipped the top of my fingers into his boxers, scratching the skin lightly, "Fucksake do something already!" He begged and I smirked.

"See I would but I have this ego problem" I pushed my hand further into his boxers, letting them scratch all the way down, feeling the heat inside them.

"yeah?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yeah" I nodded, "Something to do with quitting in front of the world" I shrugged, "When we both know it should have been you, everyone's so desperate to know how those words would sound leaving you're mouth" I let one finger trace down his length, surprised with how far I had to travel to cover the whole of his length.

"I quit" he whispered, I took his dick in my hand.

"I'm sorry?" I smirked stroking his using his precome.

"I quit, for god sakes, I quit!" I smirked, watching his face turn into pure bliss as I started to toss him off. Watching him completely submit was better than anything I had ever seen, better than any girl I had ever been with.

"Good boy" I ran a hand up his spine, "Undress" he hesitated, "Now" I enforced and he started taking his clothes off. I slid down my ring trunks which I had forgotten I was in. Letting my knee pads fall off with them. I grabbed him from behind once more, turning him towards the table, bending him over it. I kicked his legs apart lazily.

I sucked on one finger, letting it circle his entrance, his whole body seeming to shake with anticipation. I let it push in and he hissed, I didn't care, once again my whole existence was taken over by the sound falling from his mouth. Quickly I added another, and another. I had to hold him down with my other free hand to stop him bucking. I pulled out of him, walking around to the side of the table where his head lay, I let my dick fall next to his mouth. He looked up at me and I raised an eyebrow, he took me in his mouth, covering me in saliva. I tried to ignore how warm his mouth was, or the urge to buck into the back of his throat. I pulled out without warning, causing a popping sound, and a small trace of saliva from his mouth to my dick. I smirked.

I walked back around, pulling his cheeks apart, lining myself up with him. Slowly pushing forward. He hissed in pain, music to my ears. I started to let my hand trace over his forming bruises.

"Randy?"

"What?" I snapped mildly irritated he had brought me out of my senses.

"I fucking quit already"I laughed knowing it was his way of telling me he was ready. I bucked forward, causing him to wail out in pain, obviously not used to this. I gripped both his hips with vice like force.

I let everything pour into this, every bad feeling I had had all day, every negative thing that had ever happened to me, everything. I was taking out on the only small thing on John Cena's body.

"Fucksake you're tight Cena" I hissed. I moved one hand to his shoulder, and help him up lightly making a new angle.

"Yes! Fuck god there" I smirked, so I'm a god eh? I continued to pound into him relentlessly.

I felt a tugging in my stomach & I knew holding out was not an option. I reach around starting to tug on him again and he started moaning like some virgin bitch.

"Randy-"

"Say it" I warned and he nodded.

His entire body went rigid & he screamed out "I QUIT!" his hole tightened around me and I slammed into him once more, his final submission too much for me to handle, and poured into him, both of us crumbling to sweaty, hurting, jerking messes.

I panted heavily, pulling out of him. Seemly coming back to earth as I slid down the wall. John doing the same beside me.

After a moments silence his voice pipped up, "Randy, what the fuck just happened?" he asked.

We both looked at each other frozen, the reality of what had happened hitting us.

"Apparently, we just fucked?" I tired to sound calm, but my voice broke.

"Um" he swallowed, "Okay?" I nodded.  
>Silence fell once more, both of us still in post-orgasmic state. I started to grab my ring gear, sliding my trunks back on.<p>

"I'm still confused" Cena admitted and I nodded.

"So am I buddy" I admitted, "But it happened, aint jack shit we can do about it now" I shrugged standing with my knee pads in hand. I opened the door, turning with a light smirk on my face, "Good match Cena" I called our usual post match call.

He laughed loudly, picking himself up from his spot, "Yeah Orton, laters" he waved me off, turning his back on me & I shook my head letting the door fall closed, not entirely sure what just happened, but knowing I didn't entirely regret it either. 

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><p>So I wanted the match to be so much more detailed than it was, but I couldn't find a video of the match anywhere. I couldn't download Braking point 2009 for the life of me &amp; I had fans who wanted this out as soon as possible.<p>

I hope ya'll enjoyed :) xx 


	2. Chapter 2

_**Title: Flirting with Disqualification.**_

_**Pairing: John Cena/Randy Otron.**_

_**Rating: NC 17.**_

_**Warnings : Some bad language and gay sex.**_

_**Summary : People always said, there would be a match that changed their life's forever. Neither of them ever dreamed it would be like this. John Cena/ Randy Orton. M/M SLASH!**_  
><em><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own, any of the wwe superstars mentioned.<strong>_

_**Author's Note : My net is down & we don't know how long its going to be so I'm updating at my grans right now. So updates for the next while WILL be a lot slower. Sorry. I love you guys & I hope it's worth the wait.**_

* * *

><p>I put my bag in the main locker room, before heading out to the cafateria in serious need of a coffee. I hadn't slept in the last week much, &amp; anytime I did get into a sulumber two words echoed through my dreams like a plauge, <em>I Quit. <em>I groaned as I sulked past many superstars, who seemed to read the look on my face that I wasn't to be bothered with right now. I grabbed a coffee from the machine and slumped into a chiar at the furthest table from the bundle of superstars.

I starred at the contents willing them to cool down. I closed my eyes, feeling how tired I truely was. Snapping my eyes open to make sure I staied awake, I let my mind wander. Since last Monday, their had been no house shows, which I was grateful, but the more time left inbtween fucking Cena & seeing him afterwards was making me worry more about the time when we would meet.

Finally i lifted the near black liquid to my mouth, letting it burn away a few of my taste buds not able to wait any longer for the mental stimulation I needed. I knew we couldn't really change the weay we acted around anyone without anyone noticing but it was going to be fucking difficult. I mean sure i'd swung the other way a few times when I was younger, starting out, but not in year. I still don't know how or why I pratically raped Cena, not that I regreted it, but there was no logical explanation for it & I found myself not for the first time in the last few days, being grateful that he didn't punch me and walk out, telling the whole roster I was some closet fag.

I finished the coffee, desperatly wanting another, but not wanting a caffine crash during my match later. I closed my eyes once more blocking out the world.

"Afternoon Randal" I gulped, I even heard it myself. The call was normal, bright & not out of character in any way. Now I had to glare at him, tell him not to call me Randal and point out that 6.30 Pm was the evening & not the afternoon. I opened my eyes, taking in his expression, he seemed calm but there was something in his eye that told me that I wasn't getting away so easily.

"How many times do I have to ask you NOT to call me Randal?" I snapped far to harshly, he slipped into the seat in front of me, "And its Half six in the evening, not afternoon" He had his back to everyone which meant he could let his face drop.

I couldn't even read his facial experession, "At LEAST once more, and whatever it's after noon, which makes it afternoon" we had had this discussion so many times, that to anyone who would have been intrested in our conversation had now fallen back into their own.

He glanced aroun checking before turning back to me, "We have to talk"

"Stop being such a bitch" I groaned, he eyed me clearly not amused.

"Fuck you" he whispered harshly leaning over the table, my breath hitched slightly as I remembered having him over the dresser in a very similar possition "I have had to explain to people why I've had a limp for the last week - take that fucking smirk off your face before I do" I bit my lip trying very hard to not let my amusment spread across my face. The idea of causing John Cena to limp was at the best of times, impowering, given the circumstances I felt like a fucking god, "What the fuck? You divorce from your wife and 6 months later your gay?"

My jaw clenched, my brain shutting down completely. "Leave Sam out of this" I hissed, we may not be married anymore, but she was still the mother of my child, "& I'm not fucking gay-"

"So what the fuck was that?" he hissed, I sat back in my chair eyeing him. I watched as his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, I could still see a light bite mark just under it, I smiled to myself as I seen it.

"I'm sorry I seem to remember you being hard first" John blushed like nothing else, also sitting back in his chair, something I wished he hadn't done enjoying seeing him bent over the table "Care to explain that?"

"There's I reason I never get changed in the main lockeroom after matches" I raised an eyebrow, "I always have such a high from the matches, sometimes it just happens" he looked embarrased I had known him almost ten years and I had never once thought that he was lying when he said it was to noisey for him to undwind after a match in the main lockeroom.

"You get a post match hard on?" I scoffed and he glared at me, "What the fuck is up with that?" I chuckled, "Brings a whole new meaning to living for wrestling"

"Fuck you it's besides the point"

"You wern't hard in the ring John, you got hard after I came into your lockeroom"

"I've explained that already, being so fucking angry at you on top of that didn't help, now do you care to explain why you came down anyway?" he snapped lowly. The vien on the side of his neck popped out as he stressed out just a little more, and I licked my lips surprising myself with the urge to run my tongue along it's length.

"I was fucking pissed off, I wanted to vent anger!" I shrugged enjoying watching his expression changed to being completely baffled.

"Most people would go to the gym, or to a bar, not to their best mates locker room to try fucking them!" he snapped.

"You begged for more Cena" I smirked, and he looked outraged, I bit the inside of my lip trying with all my strengths to stop pissing him off, it was reminding me far to much of our prefuck arument.

"How did you know what you where doing anyway?" I couldn't help the power I felt knowing that he thought I was good enough to know what I was doing.

"Its not exaclty rock science John" I tried to brush it off and he eyed me as I shifted in my seat, "Fine when I came into the business, I fooled around with someone sometimes to relieve stress and sexual frustration" I shrugged.

"Well we both know none of the women ever liked anal, so I'm assuming it was a guy, who?" he asked and once more a small smile made it's way to my face.

"Why? Wanna check out the compitition?" He groaned starting to get seriously annoied with me, banging his head once off the table. I knew I should stop but toying with Cena was always fun, this was just down right pleasurable.

"Who?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Dave" his head snapped eyes as wide as saucers.

"Batista?" I nodded.

"But him & Lisa?" I shook my head lightly.

"Only in OVW, once they got here nothing, we where in the same stable, most of the time in the same hotel room. It just made sense" I shrugged, "After that I met Sam"

"You fucked Dave? Several times?" John shook his head, "How the fuck did I miss that, I knew you guys, so fucking well?" I laughed.

"Don't feel too bad, Dave wanted to invite you, but we didn't think you'd be up for it"

"Fuck off" he warned and I laughed.

"Look John, you need to chill. We fucked" I shrugged, "Pent up frustation, Jeez we where hand cuffed to each other for a good twenty minutes, how about you just deal with the fact I robbed you of you anal virginity and we move on?"

John had to take several deep breaths, probabaly to stop himself from hitting me, finally nodded.

"We have far to many up coming matches for this to get in the way, and we've been mates for god knows how long" I nodded.

"Once you accept it happend & stop questioning it, it gets easier" I noted and he nodded once, "I'm going to get changed, go see the physio and then I'll see you out there?" He nodded once more waving me off before I left.

I helped Cody backstage, Cena had been distracted and in turn it had cost Cody to take a rough bump, nothing to serious that a warm bath wouldnt cure, but it could have been a lot worse & I was pissed. Cody was like a little brother to me, I felt over protective of him at the best of times, which is why most of the roster where convinced we where fucking, but for John fucking Cena the face of the company to be so reckless. I shook my head.

Cena came back and he looked at Cody, "Cody, I'm sorry" he tried.

"Forget it John I'm fine really" I kept growling at him, he took one glance at me and bowed his head, Cody looked up at me ovbiosuly seeing how awkward John looked.

"Randy" he warned.

"No Cody, it was fucking reckless, I've never seen someone look so fucking distracted - Keep your personal problems out of the ring in future Cena, it's not fair to risk other peoples safety as well as your own" I fumed.

"I know that!" he damned near roared, his eyes locked with mine & I could tell I wasn't the person to be giving him the lecture, because it was pretty ovbious, I was the reason he was distracted.

Anger flew between us, and both Cody & Ted could sense it. Neither knew why, but knew they would have to defuse the situation & now.

"Randy, we should probably get Codes to the-" I cut him off nodding, tearing myself away from Cena's eyes.

"Lets go"

"For what its worth Codes, I really am sorry" He tired again.

"John it's fine, I'm not dying I just took a bad bump, I'm fine. Really" he assured him. John nodded, walking away in the other direction. I watched after him, a sneer on my face. I watched as his hips swung from side to side, his jorts straining over the perfection that was his ass, his back muscles tensing lightly as his arms swung, and his neck hung in shame.

"Fuck Randy, that was harsh, you know John would never try hurt anyone In the ring & when he does he beats himself up about it more than he should" Ted snapped, I rolled my head to look at him with a disaproving look.

"He's right Randy, it was only a bump, the worst that will happen is a bad bruise"

"I'll go see him once we get you fixed" I promised and they nodded.

I knew they where right, John would have been beating himself up about this already without me adding to it. I knew what I said was right, but sometimes you don't need to tell people they're in the wrong, more so when they already know. I knew I had a cheek, it was my fault he was distracted, but thats what pissed me off more. I felt responsible for Cody being hurt & I didn't like it.

We dropped Cody off, being told he would be fine. Ted went to the main lockeroom & I set off down the hall trying to think up an appoligy on the way. I knocked once lightly on a door that was locked, praying it was the right one.

"Go away Randy" he begged through the door.

"I just wanna talk" I heard a heavy sigh and the door unlock. I opened the door to the small room. I sat on one of the chairs facing John who was sitting on the small bench, head in his hands.

"I'm sorry" I admitted, he looked up at me through heavy lidded eyes, "I know this is all my fault"

"You haven't fathered my child fucksake Randy. I can take responsibility for my own mistakes" He hissed ovbiously feeling I was trying to baby him.

"I know, but I had no right to shout at you"

"I know, you have some fucking nerve!" he hissed. I flinched at the sound of venom in his voice.

"I know, I just feel like its my fault Cody's hurt & I didn't like it"

He stopped for a minute then looked up at me, "Randy are the romours about you & Runnles true?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"No" Though if anyone had the right to assume such things, it was Cena.

"Oh" he nodded, "Sorry just with you know-"

"Yeah" I chuckled, we both made eye contact and laughed, all tension seemed to be gone.

"I haven't slept in days" he amditted and I nodded.

"Same, I've been so fucking convinced you where just gonna punch me as soon as you seen me" we both laughed, exhaughtion seemed to be taking over us.

"It's why I'm beating myself up so much" He shurgged, "Cody should not have gotten hurt tonight, no matter how minor it was. If I had had sleep, if i had been focused" he shrugged.

"Cody's fine" I assured him, with a smile.

"Really? Nothing broke, fractured or other wise out of palce?" I sniggered.

"No, might be a bit bruised in the morning, nothing more" he sighed in relief, "I really am sorry about snapping Cena, he's like a brother I get mad at the best of times when he's hurt never mind when I know it's basically my own fault"

"I can take responsibilty for my own actions" he half snapped and I smiled.

"You never done much Cena" I smirked and he looked up at me and chuckled, both of us knowing I was talking about last week.

"I was fucking scared, and in pain might i fucking add" I threw my head back in laughter understanding all too well how painful the first time could be, "Like why does it hurt so much?" He questioned & I shrugged, laughing more along with him.

"I have no fucking idea, theres no need for it to hurt that much, when you're already half convinced the man on top of you is about to either kill you or tear you in half" I sighed and he nodded. It was hard to believe that I was John's, Dave.

"Did dave pratically rape you too?" John asked mocking me and I rolled my eyes.

"There was no pratically about it, I asked him to stop several times & he just didn't" John's eyes widened, "Don't get me wrong once the pain stopped and he found my sweet spot I begged him never to stop but, the first minute and a half felt like two fucking hours" John nodded understanding.

"Amen"

Silence fell, and I took that as my que to go. I stood.

"I'll let you have you're post match wank in peace" I smirked and he stood shoving me.

"Fuck you" he snapped jokingly.

"Never gonna happen Cena, I don't bottom" He blushed madly.

"Not what I meant" he growled, the sound sending the most amazing shivers down my spine, the noise sounding too fimiluar.

I cocked my head to the side, smirk falling into its usual place, "Really, what did you mean?" he closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling three times before he looked at me again. The room suddenly feeling a lot smaller than it actually was.

As I watched him try calm himself, I felt the fimilar stirring in my trunks and I shook my head lightly, willing myself down, closing my eyes.

I felt myself being shoved against the wall, and I moaned, eyes snapping open.

"Stop. This. Now" Cena demanded, that fucking vien sticking out of his neck again.

"Or?" I couldn't help myself. I wanted to stop, I wanted to stop thinking & dreaming of my best friend sprawled out under me. I wanted to stop fucking with his head, to the point it was affecting his career & putting myself and my friends in danger. I wanted to stop.

But when he demanded it in such a way, almost challenging me not to do as he demanded, I had to do it. Something took over that made me willing to risk everything just to shoot down his throat.

I tore my eyes away from his neck and looked into his eyes, trying to read them. As soon as i met his, he groaned and lunged at me. Kissing me as hard as he could, pinning me between the wall and himself. His hand grabbed the back of my neck, forcing me to continue kissing him, the other hand pinning my hip to the wall. I bit down on his lip, needing more. I took advantage of the gasp he gave and stuck my tongue into his mouth. There was a war for domanince, and neither of us seemed to be giving up.

Suddenly something snapped into place, and he pulled away from me. He looked shocked, scared and hurt. I gulped not liking where this was going.

"Go" he half whispered, "Please?" I nodded, gathering my thoughts as I ripped the door open and walked back to the main lockeroom.

I grabbed my things, pulling my normal clothes back on & rushing out the door, needing to be alone.

"Randy!" I turned groaning inwardly,

"Yes Ted?" I tried to ask nicely, but failing to do so.

"Me & Codes where wondering if you wanted to have a couple of beers later? You seem stressed as fuck" I thought about spending time with people and had to physically hold down progectile vomit, but the idea of a mind numbing beer taking everything away & the end result being a few hours cold, hard sleep. Well that I couldn't deny.

"Yeah, yeah sure" I checked my watch, "I'll meet you in the hotel bar about 11 say?" he nodded walking backwards the locker room as I headed out towards the carpark.

After a quick shower, I headed downstairs, willing the night to go smoothly. I just wanted to get drunk and pass out. It should not be too much to ask. I groaned as the bell dinged letting me know I was on bottom ground.

I walked into the little bar and after a quick search found Ted & Cody. My stomach lurched as I seen it wasn't just us tonight, they had invited another guest. His expression seemed to mirror mine, like he was willing the ground to open up under him & let him free fall towards the centre of the earth, rather than sit with me tonight.

My feet carried me forward and I tried to mask my face, not for John but for Ted & Cody. They didn't need to know about this bullshit.

I slid into a seat beside Cody, facing Ted and furthest away from John.

"Evening boys" I greeted as I sat down.

"I'll get this one" Ted stood,

"So" Cody rocked in his chair, he was always so childish. One of the many reason's I enjoyed Cody's company, it was like he never grew up, always looking for a laugh and a joke in everything. Totaly bi-polar opposite from me, but it was one of the many reasons I felt protective of him. He was just a kid.

I placed my hand on the back of the chair to stop him rocking.

"I aint taking your ass to hospital again if you swing back to far, drunk as fuck & burst your head open"

"Yes you would, you'd just complain for the next four years. Again" He rolled his eyes and John sniggered, it seemed easy, effortless. It made me smile in return.

"You almost died because of you being an idiot. I have a right to complain"

"Randy you sound like my dad"

"That's only because he's sick of sitting with your ass in hospital too" Ted added as he set down four beers, and four shots. I smirked at him, Ted had this knack for knowing when I had to get fucked up, and he always knew how to do it too.

"Let the boy swing" John smirked at me leaning back in his seat, the tension seemed to be gone. This felt normal, like today or last week never happened. I relaxed also.

"Are you gonna sit with him in hopsital?" I asked our eyes met, a slow smile crept onto his face. It was fileld with fun & laughter, something John Cena's face was famous for. We nodded once, an understanding seemingly being made.

"If it will shut you the fuck up yes" They laughed and I shook my head smile on my face.

"Thank you John" Cody mocked, still chuckling, "Now" he reached for his own shot, and we all took ours in return, "Bottoms up" I knocked the liquid back, hissing at the burn in the back of my throat, washing it down with some beer.

As soon as the burn was gone, I craved it again & I knew I was in for a long, wasted night.

Two hours later, Cody was all but alseep. Ted was singing to himself. John & I had at some point during the night ended up in seats straight facing each other.

"Shut up!" I laughed too loudly. I was drunk, "How can you even say that, your a shambles of a wrestling fan or wrestler for that matter"

"Come on!" he groaned, "H carried the orginial DX like it was - I don't even know-"

"Shawn doesn't know what being carried means" I insisted.

"H is better-"

"No he is not! Shawn is by FAR the better wrestler of the two - Of anyone infact"

"Careful, I'll tell Bob your not his favourtie anymore" I through my head back laughing, "Daddy won't be pleased"

"My dad knew he wasn't as good as Shawn Michaels, something he accpeted a long time ago! He won't be mad, that I have taste"

His face screwed up, his nose scrunching up in the cutest way, "I have taste!" he protested.

"Oh yeah, Hunter?" I raised an eyebrow.

"He's good, he taught you a LOT back in the day" I smiled foundly, thinking of my evolution days.

"I can't argue with you there" I agreed, "But you ask him tomorrow who's the better wrestler - he will say Shawn-"

"How do you know? Have you heard him say it before?"

"Yes" I stated simply. He was stumped, opening and shutting his mouth not really knowing what to say.

"Guys?" We both turned to Ted, who was pratically holding Cody up, but also somehow helping himself stay up also, "I think we are done"

"Want any help" John asked, Ted shook his head,

"I'm cool"

Cody lifted his head, and muttered, "I'm wasted" letting his head fall back down. I laughed lightly, watching them go, to make sure Ted didn't need help.

"Hunter's still the better wrestler" John sighed defeated.

"Uhuh" I lifted my beer to my mouth.

I shot a glance at him, his shirt was tight around his arms and shoulders, his hands tightly wrapped around his bottle in a way that made my groin tighten. I almost chocked on my beer as I set it down. John looked up at me smirk on his face.

"Slow down fucksake" he laughed. I pounded my chest nodding.

Our eyes locked once more, I left a heat creep around my neck & ears.

"I think I'm gonna take a leaf out of they're books. Try get some sleep" I noted, John nodded quickly. We both down the last of our drinks, standing just as quickly, I had to catch my chair to stop it from falling over. I swallowed deeply. We both made our way towards the evelator and once it opened I inwardly groaned to see it empty.

"Floor?" John asked.

"19" I sighed and he nodded pressing only one button.

"Fucksake this shouldn't be so awkward" he groaned, I nodded closing my eyes.

"I know" i agreed,

"Was it like this with Dave?" he asked, I shook my head, a small smile crept over his face.

"No, it was more of an agreement actualy, after one drunken fumble, we just agreed it would make life easier" I shrugged.

"Is it me?" he asked I chuckled lightly.

"No, I..." I cut off as I tried to answer & realized I didn't have one. "I don't want it to be this awkward" He nodded.

The door opened and we both walked out, walking to the left. Why is he sleeping so damned close to me. We both stopped, one door apart. Our eyes met once more & once again I could feel the heat radiating off him.

"So your the mistery man behind the door" he smirked lightly, full implication behind it. I gulped, the idea of John being able to get into my room whenever he wished seeming far to much for me. I gripped the door handle tighter.

"Apperntly so" I added back cooly, my spirk plastered to my face.

"Well Randal" My jaw clicked, the way he knew it would, the way he wanted it too, "You know what the say about awkwardness" he opened his own door, half stepping in, "only way to get rid of it, is to confront it's source" I raised an eyebrow, "Open the door to it" his smile widened, "So to speak" he closed his door behind him.

A rush fled through me, drunken haze making everything more hightend than usual. The bright lights of the hallway, the awkwardly positioned key card slots, the growing errection in my trousers. I flung the door open with so much force, The only light a small bedside table. I closed the door, only to hear one at the side of me open.

I pulled my top off, throughing it towards my bed, licking my lips. I opened the door fully stepping in. No lights where on in John's room, I squinted my eyes trying to find him, when I felt the door handle being pushed away from my finger tips and his hard mass behind me. The door clicked, and I turned pushing John against the door. He groaned, instantly and I attacked his neck, licking that vein that had been mocking me all day, reaching just under his ear, biting it.

He pulled my hips further against him & I smiled grinding against him, giving him the ovbious friction that he wanted. I unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall from his shoulders. I ran my hands over the perfect body that had been haunting me all week. I pulled one nipple, probabaly too hardly, but John arched into it.

"Naked" I demanded and he done so willingly. I let my trousers fall also, reminding myself why goign comando was always a good idea, "Bed" I barked, again he followed,

"Lets play a game" I smirked, his breath hitched and I brushed my dick over his, I raised his hands above his head, "Keep them there, for as long as you can" He gulpe, but nodded non the less. I slithered down ever so slightly, leaving harsh bitemarks that he enjoyed far to much. I licked the pannles of his body and he groaned, thrusting up. I pinned him back to the best easily. Further still, I licked along his boxer line, nibbling certain sensitive parts, rubbing small circles in his hips. I could feel his dick bobbing again my chin begging to be given attention.

I spread his legs, finding the line from his hip, dragging my tongue all the way down it to the inside of his groin. "Fucking hell" he muttered. I glanced up noticing how he had a hold of the pillow, gripping it for dead life. I bit the inside of his leg, sucking hard enough to know I would mark him for days to come. I let go of his skin, and moved further down again, letting his legs hook over my shoulders, I licked his entrance and he froze, unsure what to make of this. I placed my hands back on his hips, pulling his ass back towards my face. I licked around his hole, knowing how it would send his crazy. Before long he was grinding against my mouth looking for that something more.

I bit his cole ever so lightly before letting my tongue give him what he wanted. He groaned out, the faster I flicked my tongue over him the more I heard from him, his angelic voice, moaning my name for everyone to hear. I pushed in past his entracen, settling my face around him.

His hands grabbed the back of my head, grinding against my face for a moment. I stopped and he whimpered.

"I know I wasn't supposed to, but fuck please don't stop" he sounded undone, like he'd never felt anything like it. I wiggled my tongue lightly inside him, realizing that he probabaly never had felt anything like it, "Urgh, thank you" his fingers clawed at my scalp. I added a finger in with my tongue, and he started shaking. I removed everything, spitting lightly on his hole, working in inside him. pushing two fingers in this time, I licked the skin inbetween his balls and his dick.

"More" he cried out, I took his balls in my mouth and added another finger.

John may think I'm in control, when when he demanded things like that, I had to do whatever he asked, no matter what it may be.

He was withering under me, his entire body completely shaken to his core, because of me. I groaned. Pulling out of him, sitting up.

"Mouth. Open" He knew what to do this time, getting as much saliva on my dick as possible. I pushed him back, "Turn over" again he done so, lifting his ass slsightly into the air. I hooked one arm under him, positioning him perfectly. I slapped his ass once hard, recieving the most sinful moan, as I lined up with him. He tensed, it was ovbious.

"It wont hunt so much this time" I promised him, "Just relax as much as possible" I lay on hand onto his neck, rubbing small cirlces over his nape trying to relax him. I pushed past his ring and moaned outright. Everything about this moment in time was exilirating. The way he pushed back on me, the way he fucking felt, the way every nerve on my body felt fantastic.

I felt more alive right now, than I had in a long time, & I knew that was down to John. I sighed snapping my hips forward, "again" he asked almost sounding shy. I set a steady pace, snapping forward everytime my name fell from his lips.

"Louder John" I begged. The needed to finsh was taking over me, and I reached around grabbing his leaking dick. His whole body began to twitch again and I groaned in appreation.

"Randy, fuck Rand!" his moans where becoming closer together & a lot louder.

"Talk to me" I begged, I had to know what he needed to finish.

"Harder" He begged, and I drove into his sweet spot, letting my balls slap off his ass in the prosess, "yeah! Fuck! God! Randy, Please" I lost any control I had. He owned me in this moment in time and as I tossed him off, him ass clamped down on me and I shot into his as hard as I could. I felt his relase fall through my fingers onto the sheets and I milked him for everything he was worth. Some how he managed to hold himself up with shaking arms, better than I did. I had colapsed onto him, twitching as thread after tread of come shot into his ass.

After a few sobering moments, I pulled out of him and onto the side of the bed.

"Randy we need to stop this" he concluded.

"I know" I agreed fully. I lifted my hand to my mouth cleaning that, the taste of him sobering me even more as I realized we had once again just fucked.

"Stop it" he slapped my hand away.

"Why?" I demanded, and he huffed, "It just goes to waste otherwise"

"We just had gay sex" he demanded, "It goes to waste anyway"

"Well if you would rather get someone preg-"

"Fucking shut up, how can you be so calm about this?" he demanded.

"Because I'm drunk?" I yawned, I stood swaying. I grabbed my clothes, opening the door that joined our rooms, the light falling in over his naked body. I smiled lightly seeing the bite marks, "Goodnight Cena"

"Yeah" he chuckled bitterly, "fucking Fantastic" I closed the door, a stupid smile on my face.

"That it was Cena, that it was" I dropped my belongings on the floor, crawling into bed. The first time in a week knowing I would get a decent sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_**SORRY! For the wait. My net is still down I am currently uploading from college and could get into DEEP shit for it. **_  
><em><strong>I felt this part was needed to understand John's Point of view.<strong>_  
><em><strong>Next chapter will be just the way you like it, but we cant have constant sex &amp; no story now can me (yes! I know I lie) <strong>_  
><em><strong>Again a MILLION sorry's. <strong>_  
><em><strong>Once my end of term exams are over i'll have more time. but for now I am so sorry <strong>_  
><em><strong>I am still writing I promise :)<strong>_

* * *

><p>This was not happening. I know it wasn't. I looked dumb founded at Ted.<p>

"Do you really value you're own space that much, that even for a few months you can't give up half of a hotel room?" He rolled his eyes.

We had just left a meeting, due to major cut backs, everyone was now to share a hotel room. This would have been fine, I had done it plenty of times before to help younger guys out who didn't have as much money.

But for the foreseeable future, I would be rooming with John Cena. I took a deep breath nodding my head.

"Yes, I do" I hissed,

"Me & Cody share rooms as it is anyway so" he shrugged, "Nothings actually changing for me" I growled at him, from across the hallway I seen a shine of blue, and I knew intently who's eyes they belonged too. I shook my head.

"I don't see why Vince gets to dictate who we room with" I growled.

"John's you best mate - whats the problem?" I took a deep breath in. Knowing I had to lie.

"We are fussy about how we like things, little things bug the life out of me that he does. I can't practically move in with him" I groaned.

Ted laughed obviously finding my reasoning humours, "Deal with it Randy man" he shook his head walking away, "you'll get used to it"

I grabbed a coffee once more sitting as far away from everybody as possible. Thankfully everybody seemed to be too busy talking about the new situation to bother me. Except one.

"We seriously need to talk" he hissed in my ear & I rolled my eyes.

"Will you stop being such a bitch?" I asked him and he growled. Hung-over John wasn't a great person, but hung-over Randy was worse.

"This is serious Randy, every time I'm near you, you practically rape me -"

"you invited me in last night" I defended but he ignored me,

"I can't live like that"

"Then keep it in your pants" I smirked knowing full well it was too easy.

"Fuck off! Honestly your such a dickhead sometimes!" he snapped.

"It comes with the storyline" I shrugged and he growled warningly.

"Surely we could talk to Vince?" he asked, I chuckled.

"And say what exactly?" I continued to laugh, "Hey Vince me & John can't room together cause every time we've alone for more than 5 minutes for the last week we end up fucking. Anything you can do to help us out?"

"I didn't mean tell him" He hissed and I raised an eyebrow, "We're two of the biggest superstars surely we would be able to bend his arm" the way he said it was slow & cautious. John had never asked for anything from Vince, not a bigger room, more money, extra time off. Nothing. He was far to grateful for where he was, and he never minded doing something to help the company. I knew how badly he must want his own space if he was willing to ask Vince.

I shrugged, "Vince will be looking for us to set the example, stop the mid-cards moaning about it. If we don't do it why should they?" He took a deep breath knowing I was right.

Perfect John-Could-Do-No-Wrong-Cena couldn't possibility be the one to moan about rooming with someone, his best friend at that.

"Then what do we do?" He asked.

"I see no problem with how things are going" I was joking I seen every problem with it, we were best friends, co - works and best of all supposedly straight, but he was just to easy to toy with & when its something is so easy, I can not help myself.

"Randy" he warned and I smirked, sitting back in my chair.

"What?" I shrugged, enjoying how his features twisted far to much, "It's not that hard to say no John" I pointed out once more.

His eyes popped out, he went to say something & then held back. It was strange I had never seen John hold back on anything he had to say. It irritated me, I wanted to know what he was going to say & I wanted to know badly.

"I know I just thought it would be easier for us until we sorted this" he paused looking for the right word, "thing out, for us not to have to room, but whatever" he stood. There was something off about his last sentence, something about the way he said it, about how he looked, just something wrong.

I was fully ready after my match. John was as always in his own locker-room & I was making my way down to there to ride back to the hotel. I was about to knock the door when I heard something from inside that made me freeze & press my ear against the door.

"Randy" there it was again, that moan, that sinful moan that I had heard so much in the last few weeks. He groaned darkly and I imagined how he would arch slightly off whatever chair he was on, how his eyes would snap shut and the name would roll off his tongue, sweat dripping down over every part of him. I bit my lip as not to whimper. It took everything I had not to push the door open to see the sight. I took several deep breaths listening to him intently as he gathered his things quickly, obviously knowing I would be on my way to get him soon. I counted to 20 slowly in my head before knocking.

"Come in" he took a deep breath before pushing the door open. He was dressed in dark jeans, and a tight blue t-shirt, bent over lightly zipping up his bag. I licked my lips, swallowing hard taking in the smell that only ever belonged to sex, before pushing out a low, "You nearly ready?" He stood bringing his bad over his shoulder with him. His face was still flushed from his release and I caught sight of a few napkins in the bin which he had obviously used to clean himself. Even since the day I had heard John wanked after matches I never once dreamed I would be the stimulation for those secret moments, even after the last few weeks.

"Yeah, lets go" I nodded once turning on my heel needing to be out of the small room before I lost my mind, Johns own smell seeming to cling to me.

"You okay?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah" He looked doubtful and I added, "The smell of sex in there is enough to kill, I don't need those kinds of imagines in my head" I shrugged.

"Oh" John blushed as we reached the rental.

"So, what's your plans for this evening?" I tried, still not able to get the smell away from me.

"Probs the gym, you?" he asked and I shrugged.

"The same more than likely" he nodded.

It was silent for a moment and we both knew what we where thinking about, "Do you think I should" he stopped and I glanced at him he seemed embarrassed, I looked quickly back at the road, "you know get air freshener or something?" I bit my lip lightly.

"For the locker room?" he nodded.

"Maybe or just heavily spray deodorant" I shrugged, trying to keep the amusement off my face.

"I'm seriously going to take that smirk off your face one day" he tried and I chuckled along with him.

"While we're on the subject" I smirked and John groaned, "I've been wondering - hear me out this is honest friendly curiosity"

"Friendly?" I asked sarcasm evident.

"Yes friendly, I would have asked you this, say last month If i had found out then rather than now"

"Are you trying to say we're not friends anymore?" he asked, the tone he used was joking but behind it I could hear the hurt.

"No!" I scolded, the idea of not being friends with John scaring me more than I would have admitted, "I meant when we where only friends, before some line had been crossed" he nodded understanding.

"Okay, so what's your curiosity bringing you to now?" he asked slowly.

"Well you know how you have your post match wank?" he growled at me, but didn't stop me, "How does that work?" He burst out laughing,

"Excuse me?"

"Not the wanking part, I understand that" I rolled my eyes, "Is it like just a adrenaline release or do you think about the match, do you think about the people in the match, do you think of people you want to sleep with?" John stared at me in awe, not completely able to believe I had asked him such a question.

"You can't be serious" he gave a nervous chuckle but when I never replied he looked shocked, "Randy I'm not answering that"

"Why?" I demanded, his smell still lingering around me & the sound of him shooting out all over his own hand while my name slipped passed his lips driving me enough to pull over the car & take him in the back seat. I gripped the wheel a litter tighter to save myself.

"Who or what I think of when I'm getting off, is not something you need to know about" he chuckled again still in shock.

"I never said I needed to know, I said I wanted to, now spill" his eyes narrowed down on me and I bit the inside of my lip willing the smirk down.

John fell silent, playing with a thread from his shirt, "Your gonna laugh at me, I know you will" He seemed somewhat sad and I felt bad for putting him in this situation, locked in a car no where to go as I was driving and under pressure to tell me his fantasies. I would have let it drop but after hearing my name fall from his lips, I had to know.

"I'll try not to?" I offered knowing it was the best I could do.

"I um" he took a deep breath, "All of it I guess" he shrugged, "It usually starts off as a release, I try to get all of my frustrations out, anything I did wrong in the match, anything anyone else did - that's how I'm never annoyed with anyone, lately I've thought of people in the match" He eyed me waiting for my reaction. I pulled into the car park of the hotel and turned to him never taking my eyes off him, "I've thought about how the match could be - urm different - if the arena was empty and" he closed his eyes, "there was less clothes" I could hear myself practically panting, "I've always wanted to fuck someone in the ring, so its no real surprise to me to find myself thinking of it" he gulped, "Just the people have changed" be bit his lip still not looking at me but the thread on his tshirt.

"People?" I asked surprising myself with the annoyance of the plural word.

"Person" he corrected finally looking up at me, eyes shining with need, need for comfort need for talking. Need for his best friend to tell him everything was all right.

"This is really scaring you?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah I-" A loud bang came from the front of the car and we both snapped around to see Ted with both of his hands on the bonnet laughing probably at how much me & John jumped.

I took the keys out and slid out of the car, grabbing my stuff, "What do you want Faggot?" I asked Ted and he pushed me lightly, John coming around.

"Nothing just wondering how you ladies are after last night, Cody's dead. I don't know how he managed to get out and work tonight" We chuckled,

"I forgot how small he is sometimes and young, can't handle as much as us" John shrugged, "where is he" John asked Ted.

"Headed up to bed" He snorted, "Not even tired he says, just feeling awful" We waved him off as we checked in.

Once on our hallway, John opened our door, and I grabbed the first bed, noticing they where barely inches apart, I tried to ignore the idea of being able to get into Johns bed so easily if i pleased tonight.

"About downstairs" John started and I shrugged, sitting down.

"Its okay to be scared" I cut over him, looking up at him the look on his face still screaming for a friend. Something I have always and will always be to John "I am not going to judge you on that. I stand by what I said though accept it, everything becomes easier"

"Accept what though?" He demanded, he looked tortured almost, "Am I you know?"

"Gay?" I asked him and he nodded.

"I don't know. Are you?" John seemed troubled, yet the question was so easy.

"I don't see any other guy like that" He admitted and I felt touched and somehow lucky that the one guy John seen like "that" was me.  
>Not that he would ever have to know.<p>

"Then no, I don't think so" I shrugged. He tried to comprehend it,

"Randy what are you?" he asked and I shrugged.

"I've never known" and John looked baffled, "I've slept with both. Only ever fell in love once, with Sam, but ever since Dave I've never doubted I could fall for a guy" I shrugged, "I accept that I enjoy both & if I fall in love with either I would be happy"

"So your Bi?" he asked and I shrugged.

"I guess, I don't look at men and feel attracted though, well" I shrugged, "When I used to see Dave, I used to see him under me and that was attractive" I smirked at the look on John's face.

"Dave never bottomed to you" He laughed but when I didn't he looked up, "There is no way, how did you pull that one off?"

"Dave is an odd one, sometimes he'd want top most times he'd want bottom. I think over the few months we done what he did, I only bottomed twice" I recalled,

"But he's so big and dominate with everyone else" he noted.

"So are you" I smirked, he stopped for a moment and lost whatever battle he was having, He sat down side me.

"You never felt anything for Dave?" I shook my head no, "But you still think you could love a guy" I nodded, "I don't understand that, if you've never felt for a guy how do you know you could"

"How do you know you couldn't" I challenged back, "After going through what I've went through with Dave, and now you. To say I couldn't love someone just because they have the same shit downstairs as me, but I would fuck the shit out of them is insane" I laughed at the idea, for me it was so obvious - so very straight forward "I've accepted it, I'll love who ever God wants me to love, male or female" I nodded and smiled at him.

"Is it really that easy though?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yes" It really was. I was never scared like he was, confused at first but I just let the lust and need take over, something John was obviously finding hard, "Put it this way, if you started having feelings for say" I thought of anyone else but me to not make it awkward, "Ted" I shrugged it seemed harmless enough, "You really fell for him, and he did for you. Would you not, just because he's a guy?" He nodded, "I never really took you as the homophonic type" I joked.

"You can't even joke about that anymore" he growled, "I do see where your coming from though, but I still just don't understand" he nodded towards us, "This, jeez how long have we known each other, why do we want to jump each other now? I thought that stuff happened when you first met people?" I shrugged.

"Maybe because I'm less of an asshole?" He scoffed.

"You are not less of an asshole" I shoved him playfully, and we shared a small smile, "It doesn't need to be awkward does it?" I shook my head no.

"No. You just need to accept it" I smirked, "It being me fucking your brains out" he put his head in his hands.

"Out of everyone - everyone! It had to be the most egotistical man on the fucking planet"

"You missed out sexiest" he groaned pushing me over and I laughed harder, our laughter died down, "Look I don't know what this is, but we both know if we drag it out denying it and shit, it'll just end up worse - how about we just let it play out and promise to still be friends at the end of it regardless?" John took a deep breath and nodded.

"Alright" He leaned over and hugged me, then stood, "I'm sexier than you though" he joked and I scoffed, "Its why the made me baby face" I shook my head at him. Enjoying feeling normal if only for now, because I knew before long. I was going to want him under me screaming again, and I knew John would too. 

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><p><em><strong>Review, shout at me etc :)<strong>_  
><em><strong>I love you guys so much for sticking with me :) xx<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I am once again updating from College instead of revising for my exam which is tomorrow. I also wrote a FUCK lot yesterday rather than revising because I felt so bad for leaving you guys so long. I have one or two chapter to upload after this one. PLEASE review? **_  
><em><strong>LOVE LOVE LOEV you guys who have stuck with me :) xx<strong>_

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><p>Days passed and nothing happened, I was really starting to believe that now that John had accepted it (I had the worst habit of calling whatever me and John had 'it' ) he didn't want any of it. The more I thought of this, the more I got uneasy I don't know why. I didn't want my best friend. I never had and I never would. I loved John. Yes. More than anything on this earth, he got me through everything, drugs, my divorce, bad matches, being out on injury, dealing with my temper, just being there to deal with my bullshit more so when everyone else couldn't be bothered. I'm willing to bet the house - that I now don't own Samantha does - that anything I asked John to do he would, and I know he knows the feelings are the same.<p>

Not feelings. No. It wasn't feelings per say it was - I groaned in frustration ending the mental conversation with myself.

I do not love John Cena as more than a friend - a brother. I don't lust for him, I don't want him - I am not checking him out from across the gym.

I put my weights down and took a drink from my bottle. I checked the clock and noticed I had successfully wasted any spare time I had and got up to get ready for my match. Tonight it wasn't John I was wrestling with though and my heart sank lightly though I had no idea why. Hunter pulled just as good matches from me and I knew him just as well if not better than I knew John, I was just as close to Hunter as I was John. It made no sense I would want John instead. But I did and as I left the gym I stole one longing glance at him as he pumped more weight above his weight than I possessed in my whole body. I gulped ignoring the thoughts running through my head.

"He had no right too" John snapped as we stood in the trainers room, "It wasn't scripted"

"Looked amazing though" Ed added and I nodded regretting it. Hunter one of my long term friends had thought it would be epic to bring out a sledge hammer when I wasn't prepaired for it and brought it down on my bad shoulder. I was fine, it hurt a tad, but I wouldn't be out for any time.

"Exactly just a bad bump" I smirked at the annoyance on John's face.

"You still bitching Cena?" Hunter smiled and Ed & I laughed.

"You coulda fucked him up" John protested.

"True, thats why I'm here, you know how I get, caught up in the moment" He smiled apologetically, John's eyes narrowed into the back of his head and I bit my lip.

"It's cool, apparently it looked great and I'm fine aint that right Ed?" Ed nodded trying to kneed the muscle as much as possible to stop it from hurting.

"Nice warm bath tonight, shower first thing in the morning, good as new" John looked away almost in a huff, but no one else noticed.

"So all is well?" H asked and I nodded.

"Good match Orton" I nodded and he shook my hand,

"Yeah, good match H" he walked out.

"I'm going to go get some of those heat pads it might be better for you" I nodded as Ed walked out.

"You need to come out you huff John" I laughed as I stood up.

"Randy it wasn't scripted - if you didn't know him so well you could have been out for months" I towered over him smirking.

"Awh" I joked, "Would John have missed me?" he pulled back almost disgusted before yalking the door open and walking out.

I stood baffled, I went to go after him but knew I had to wait on Ed & I would see him back at the hotel later. A few moments later Ed came back.

"Stick this over your neck before you go to sleep & then shower first thing, any troubles I'll see you tomorrow?" I nodded taking my pad, signing out.

"Randy?" I turned to see Ted, "John said you could catch a ride with me & Cody, he looked pissed about something?" I nodded still baffled but knowing as soon as I got back, I could question it.

"Yeah I probably moved his bath soaps or something" I rolled my eyes trying to uphold the image the world knew of Randy Orton.

I opened my hotel door, I didn't see anyone but I heard the water running from the bathroom. I was still confused from the arena. I don't know exactly what I done wrong or why John was so pissed, but he obviously was.

I sat my bag down, and lay back onto my bed. avoiding my bad shoulder. The door clicked open and I sat up eyeing him in nothing but a towel. I smirked lightly.

"Oh hey - never heard you come in" he offered and I shrugged.

"I've seen you in less" I fell back determined not to watch him as he got ready. I fell back to quickly and hit my shoulder too hard, hissing as I did.

"I told you he shouldn't have done it" John snapped.

"It looked good" I snapped back.

"That's not the point, if it was scripted fine - but jeez Randy. The look of pain on your face, even now!"

"He explained himself" I defended my long time friend.

"And that makes it okay?"

I sat up finally pissed, "Yes it does. I dont know who told you getting hurt a little wasn't part of this business but they lied!"

"Fuck up, I've had my fair share of injuries - mostly thanks to you" his eyes narrowed, "But every time it has been something scripted gone wrong but he done was just plain stupid and reckless"

"Take it up with Vince John" I groaned, "Someone who may actually give a shit. It looked good that really is all I care about and for the record you've injured me a tenfold of what I have you" John's jaw tightened, as he slid on boxers.

"And every single time, I was there to say sorry and help you in any way I could"

"John just stop. Whats your REAL problem with that happened tonight?" I remembered his huff in the arena.

"What do you mean my real problem?" He accused taking a step back confirming my thoughts.

"You've never given a rats ass before as to how my storylines and carrer has been going. Why now?" I didn't even miss a beat before adding, "And you took some form of fucking huff earlier-"

"That last comment was just bullshit" he roared as I seemed to touch a nerve, "Do you really think you've gotten under my skin so much that I would miss you?" he hissed, "WHO do you think you are?"

I chuckled darkly, "It was a fucking joke John. You need to lighten up, seriously"

"Lighten up? Me? Really?" I raised an eyebrow, knowing we where both over reacting.

"John?" I asked, voice softening. He inwardly groaned, while pulling a tshirt on. Not nearly half as fast as he did in the ring and I was glad as I quickly stole a last glance at his abs before they disappeared.

"I was scared you'd gotten injured" he admitted.

"And?" I still didn't quiet get it.

"A ton of reasons, number one where would you live?" He had a point, I really should sort that out, now Sam owned the house.

"I'll sort something out when the time comes" I tried and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I was worried if you fucked off and everything went back to normal and came back it would be worse"

And there it was. It. Cropping up and ruining life's.

"How can this situation possibly be worse?" I asked, but as I said it, the answer dawned on me. Feelings could be involved in it. We could fall for each other, or even worse one for the other and it would ruin everything. Friendship - Matches - everything!

Suddenly panic rushed over me. I was not nearly ready to have feelings for someone so close after my divorce. He was right, I couldn't get injured in case it did get any worse - I mean all this week I have been craving him, how would I be if I was out for months.  
>Sure there is no grantee I would feel anything for him, but for a stupid 3 second part of a match it sure as hell wasn't worth the risk.<p>

"Your right" I agreed finally and he nodded, "I'll talk to Paul first thing tomorrow"

"Thanks" he sighed and I nodded, "It wont come to that right?" He asked and I shook my head no,

"No" I looked him dead in the eye, "I'll never love you" I took another breath just at the idea of it, "Not more than a brother anyway" he nodded.

Once again something in the air was off & I would give anything in the world to know what John Anthony Felix Cena was thinking.

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><p><em><strong>REVIEW? Much Love :) xx<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Short? Yep. More to come? Yep.**_  
><em><strong>Am I sorry for leaving you guys so long without yupdates? <strong>_  
><em><strong>Yep.<strong>_

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><p>My head spun, for the last few weeks everything had haunted me. The idea of falling for John scaring me to my core so much I'd taken to avoiding him. I knew it was hurting him, fuck it was hurting me. But it was safe, for both of us. If we weren't together, we couldn't fuck. If we couldn't fuck we fall for each other. It was a very simple theory.<p>

I downed some more of my drink, before concluding John would be asleep, he always was by this time. I paid my tab, sliding off the bar stole and headed for the lift.

There was a problem with my theory, the more I avoided John. The more I thought about him. The more I thought about him, the more I wanted him. I could see exactly where this could go. But I am sticking to my stupid theory.

I opened the door, and froze as I realized the light was still on. I closed the door behind me trying to work out what to do.

"Yo- you gonna stand there all 'ight?" I turned to see John sitting on his bed, several beer cans littering the floor around him & in nothing but boxers.

"No" I stated obviously and didn't reply with anything more gaining a snort from him, he held up a can, offering it to me and I stumbled forward. I sat on the edge of my bed taking the can.

"Good 'night?" he asked, I shrugged and John agreed. Both of us knowing how the other felt.

"You had a good match tonight" I offered and he gave a small smile.

"Could have been better, fucked up a few times" he shrugged.

The sadness in the room was hanging over us , but neither of us said a thing.

"Your up late" I noted, "Your usually a goner by now" he nodded.

"Wanted to see you" he offered.

"Why?" I asked slightly hopeful, though god knows for what.

"Don't know, just weird not seeing you - wanted to see how you are I guess" I nodded once more.

"I'm okay" I lied.

"Lair" John scoffed standing, heading for the toilet. I stood angered by his accusation but knowing it was completely true.

He walked back out, and eyed me, "what?"

"I am not a lair" He rolled his eyes trying to make his way to the bed but I wouldn't let him, standing in his way, "I'm fine"

"You just done it again, you've done a lot of shit in your past Randy. Never, not once have you lied to me" I gulped hearing the tone in his voice.

"John" I whined a little, I touched his bare arm just below his shoulder. My stomach flipped at the simple touch.

"What Randy?" he sounded deflated, defeated. I gulped looking down at him. Knowing what I wanted, what he wanted. What we both needed.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, moving slowly closer to him. Never taking my eyes off his lips.

"For what? Avoiding me for the last three weeks? Fucking & dumping your best friend? The guy who gets you through everything" I winced at the harsh tone in his voice, "I know you to be a lot of things, this isn't one of them"

"What exactly is this?" I defended.

"You've never left me scared shitless in the whole ten years I've known you" I bit back the lump in my throat, "Not when I had my first injury, not when I fell out with my family, not when we both got into wwe, not once have you left me scared until you got what you wanted" he scoffed, "Typical Randy Orton eh?" I blinked several times, not willing to admit how much he was hurting me, but John knew. Of course he knew, "I expect you to do this shit with ring rats, but not me"

"What do you want from me John?" I begged.

"Nothing" he admitted, and my heart crumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want anything from you, not your friendship, not your advice in ring, and certainly not-" I freaked out, completely. John could do anything he wanted, but he couldn't leave me alone, not John. The one person who always had my back.

So I stopped him from lying - by kissing him. Firmly.

"Don't leave me John" I begged, "Your the only person in the whole world I still trust fully" He pulled back slightly, eyeing me. & he knew it was true, not my father, not Sam, not Hunter. Sure there was things I would trust them with, but the only person on this planet, I fully trusted with everything, was John.

"You left me out to dry Randy" he whispered, "Fucked and - "

"It's not like that, I just don't want this to get worse"

"Is there anything worse than this?" I nodded and he knew that I meant, "I'd rather be head over heels for you, than lose our friendship - this business is too hard as it is without having someone to fall back on when you need it" I nodded, it wasn't the first time I'd heard this or known it to be true, but by god me & John couldn't fall for each other. We could not. We will not.

"I'm just scared of ruining everything" I admitted more to myself than to John, "I never meant for you to think I'd treat you like this, like a fucking ring rat" I shook my head looking down ashamed of myself, for ever making John feel so low. I looked down wishing I hadn't eyes roaming up Johns near perfect legs, up those tick tights, feeling sorry for the WWE universe for not being able to see them anymore. I bit my lip looking up meeting John's eyes who had followed mines, a small smile lying on his face.

"Randy?" he mumbled and I looked down once more, over his arms & legs, "Kiss me?" My head snapped up so quick, the words fell into place so neatly I could have shot all over him then and there. I pulled him in by the neck and smiled as our lips met. sighing happily as a rush fled through me. I pulled him in by the hips not wanting him to get away, scared to let him go.

I pushed him back onto the bed, feeling all to at home with this. Making quick work of the little clothing he had on and my own. This wasn't about fucking, this wasn't about being in control. This was simply proving how much someone meant to me the only way I'd ever known how. I lighly trailed kisses all the way down his stomach, biting into his leg, kissing away the pain, licking his rapidly hardening shaft. I placed one finger at his entrance and as I took his head in my mouth I shoved a finger in, and then another. I was rushing and I knew possibly hurting John, but I needed to make quick work of this.

John couldn't leave me on my own. Not when everyone else had.

I lined myself up quickly as he wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me in. He hissed lightly, and I suddenly felt guilty for going bare. I slowed once inside him, drastically. I moved so slow it hurt. John begged me too move, but it wasn't what it was about. I nestled my body against his, my face in his neck. I kissed him lightly, kissing all over his face, finally his lips. Lips I dreamed of often.

I took a hold of his sex, keeping in time with my slow trusts. John had long since stopped begging knowing it was getting him no where, and started trying to grind into my every thrust as well as push into my every tug.

I only let up when I could feel my end warming up, I starting driving home harder but by no means faster, each trust precise and perfect. I had never loved my own name so much as I did now coming from Johns throat. I nipped once more at his throat just under his scar as he came, all over his stomach and my hand. I drilled in once more and came also.

"What?" John breathed, "What was that?" I knew he meant the slow pace and the soft touches.

"A warning" I growled and he eyed me, "Never threaten to leave me alone again" He nodded still gasping as I climbed off him & into my own bed, not bothering to get cleaned, or to clean John. Just slipping off in a drunken haze, still scared shitless of losing John.

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><p><em><strong>Review so I know what you guys think of the story and not just how good I am with sex scenes :P :)<strong>_  
><em><strong>Much love :) xx<strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Three up loads in one day, 4 in two? Yes. I love you guys and I most definetly sorry :)**_  
><em><strong>I have 3 more exams then I should have a good few weeks to try get this story finished off :)<strong>_  
><em><strong>So bare with em people and review :) <strong>_

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><p>Yep. It was most definitely gone. It. was gone. Since that night, everything had returned to normal. No more awkwardness, no more fleeting glances, no more sly comments. Nothing.<p>

At least for John. It. Seemed to be gone.

For me? It. Was very alive and well & eating away at my friendship.

I sighed as I climbed off the plane, "You okay Randy?" I looked up at him, "You've been quiet this whole plane ride"

"Yeah" I smiled that fake ass smile that always won everyone over, but him. Yet these day either John didn't care that I was lying, or didn't know the difference, "Just tired, not been sleeping well lately"

"I'm telling you, it's those Marriot beds, I promise you change to Hilton for a few nights you'll be brand new" John smirked, since we started rooming together, John had been begging me to go to the Hilton, but I had always and would always be a Marriot guy, along with the rest of the roster. A penny dropped for me as I smiled down at him.

"You know what, I'm willing to give anything a go, so why don't you change the reservations for the next say week? I'll test it, if its good we stay if not, I punch you for being an idiot"

"You'll punch me for being an idiot about something anyway" he mumbled smiling as he got his own way.

"Stop being an idiot then?" I offered.

"You and I have very different views on an 'idiot' " he done air quotes and I laughed.

"Clearly" I rolled my eyes, "Change the hotels, and quickly. I need a nap" I groaned as John picked up the phone, using that killer sweet voice to make everything okay while I hailed a cab and put our luggage away.

A few fans cornered us and we smiled, took pictured and answered stupid ass questions. I was grateful for every fan I ever had and will have, but right now I just wanted a quiet dark room to try catch some sleep in.

We climbed in the cab and John told the driver the Hilton. I rolled my eyes and he smirked. Checking in we where warmly greeted and there was an interesting red head with a nice rack on reception.

"If you need anything, Mr. Orton, let me know straight away" I smiled my smile, I opened my mouth to reply when suddenly John's voice cut over me.

"He will" and barged past me knocking into me slightly on the way. I eyed him as did the red head.

"He gets grumpy, load plane rides you know?" she smiled, but it didn't quiet reach her eyes this time.

Cunt just cock blocked me.

"Yeah well, it can't be easy" she shrugged same smile still lingers, once again I opened my mouth to speak but John done it for me.

"ORTON! You coming?" I looked over at the elevator and seen him holding it open. I rolled my eyes slightly annoyed with him. I grabbed my case and followed him.

"Um what was that?" I asked as we entered the room.

"What was what?" He asked casually busying himself around the room as not to look at me.

"Downstairs?"

"I've always looked out for you" He shrugged.

"There is a difference between cock blocking and looking out for me" I snapped.

"I just didn't think you wanted to jump into bed with the first tart that offered herself up to you s'all" he shrugged, still not looking at me.

"Since when was it any your business who I bend over?" As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it. His back tensed visibly and he turned, hurt written all over his face, though John being John tried to hide it.

"Your right it's not, I'm sorry" He picked up his key card and walked to the door so quickly I didn't even have time to register what was going on, "You wanted a nap so, laters"

"John wai-" click. I sighed rubbing my face with my hands, "You are a jackass Randy Orton" I muttered to myself, rolling into bed still fully clothed and nodding off.

I may have felt bad for what I said that day in the hotel, but that quickly faded. After an awkward, plenty more fish in the sea conversation with John about the redhead, everything was fine.  
>That was until John realized there was plenty more fish in the sea, and seemed to be baiting every single one of them away from me.<p>

I wouldn't have been angry, if i thought John was doing it out of kindness, but I knew he wasn't. This was John's way of getting back at me for hurting him. I was a man of prey and after almost a month of no sex with John & no sex with ring rats. I was considering forcefully penetrating the next orifice that passed me. I shook my head, as I walked down the hall shouldering my bag, willing to get back to the hotel before John did so I could at least have a wank if I couldn't find a ring rat with another room.

I seen John walk out from behind the curtain calling out to Cody "Good match Rhodes" as he headed off towards the single locker rooms. I froze as a penny dropped. John's post match wank. I swiftly followed him until he entered a small room marked John Cena. I pressed an ear to the door and I heard exactly want I wanted. John panting. I opened the door, and he jumped lightly, standing, his cock falling from his hand, fully erect. My eyes never left it as I dropped my bag in front of the door.

"Um?" Was all John got out before I pinned him to the wall.

"This is your own fault!" I hissed, "I was ready to go back to fucking ring rats, but no!" I yelled, "John had to step in every ten seconds!" I seen honest fear flash in Johns eyes and to be honest. I liked it. I smirked, pushing the denim of my groin against his exposed flesh. He hissed in pain, but didn't try stop me.

"Your worth more than ring rats" John pleaded.

"Like what a wife? I tried that it failed" I was pushing his buttons for a reaction now.

"No" he trailed off, knowing he was gonna say too much, but I was on the brink of insanity.

"Then what John?" I asked as I grabbed his member too roughly, "You?" His eyes rolled into the back of his head as I all but ripped it off his body.

"Not nessa-"

"Then what John, because I'm not like you I don't have a post match wank" I tugged extra hard for effect and his knee's gave way, "So please do tell me how I am supposed to get my rocks off with you blocking me at every chance?"

He was panting, and moaning lowly, I don't think he even heard me. I felt so in control again and I loved it. I loved knowing if I walked one step back, John Cena would fall to a mess in the floor, because my hand alone was to much for him to bare.

"I'm sorry" he begged.

"You fucking will be" I started tossing him off as quickly as I could until he cried out and came all over my hand, leaning on me for support. Once he was done and able to stand himself again, I stood back and licked my hand, "Funny, I always manage to get yours just fine, but god forbid I taste my own" I growled and John's eyes lowered.

"No one wants to taste their own anyways" I smirked and grabbed him back the back of the neck.

"I disagree" I ran a finger along John's lips coating them in come, "Taste yourself" I demanded and he groaned as his tongue darted out across his lips, "S'not so bad is it?" he shook his head no.

I turned to walk away, when John called out, "What about you?" I smirked turning.

"What about me?"

"Your rock hard" he looked so confused.

"Well you haven't been interested lately and you don't have a solution for me so I guess I'ma have to find a ring rat" His eyes flashed with hurt, anger, confusion. Everything I had felt for the last month, fuck for the last year!

"I thought I-" he caught himself. I stepped closer again and he caught his breath.

"You thought what Cena? You thought I'd get so desperate I'd come crawling back to you?" I chuckled lowly into his ear, "That is just plain big headed" Once again I went to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist.

"I want to" He whispered.

"Of course you do" I sat down on the bench after pulling my jeans and my boxers down. My cock slapping my stomach proudly. He kneeled in front of me, taking my cock on his mouth and I sighed happily, resting my hand on the back of his neck. John made quick work of me, knowing how desperate I was. Just before I came I pulled him head back.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't mark your face for everyone to see?" I hissed knowing there was no shower in here or sink.

"I'm sorry?" he offered.

"For?"

"For cock blocking you at every turn so you would come back to me" He sounded so defeated, I lowered his head to my cock once more, and he shamelessly finished me off & by god did it feel amazing. After weeks of not coming, to look down and see a defeated John Cena swallowing me whole and for everything I was worth, to feel those lips and that tongue. Finally got to much, I held him in place as I shoot down his throat and sighed happily.

I stood as soon as he was done and muttered, "See you in the car" he nodded still on his knees as I walked out picking my bag up on the way.

That. Will fucking teach him to use. It. against me.

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><p><em><strong>SO what do we think of controling nasty Randy again :) <strong>_  
><em><strong>So much love :) xx<strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I have had Three Exams this week and I have one more left, along with two assesments and a fucking ton of homework. **_

_**Yes. I know it's short, I promise next one will be longer, more detailed and soon. I have most of it typed up. I just want to add more into it as I am sick of posting shitty little chapters as apposed to a longer more detaield chapter. **_

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><p>Days passed and John was just plain quiet. It was strange after ten years of non stop talking. I was to angry at him to care though, he had admitted it. He had used the fact there was something between us and my ridicules sex drive, to try bed me again, more so he didn't have to come to me.<p>

I knew I shouldn't have acted like that with him. I know I should try talk to him, but I didn't want to.  
>I know John must have felt disgusted with himself for giving in for a start, and like a ring rat for how I treated him, but my ego wouldn't let go.<p>

I walked out the shower ready to leave for the air port. John was still quiet and it was still strange. Every and any conversation starter hanging off my tongue as he finished getting ready completely.  
>I eyed the way his shirt curved his back muscles. I eyed everything about him, I just stopped in the middle of the room staring at him. Watching his throat intently as if willing the vocal cords to start vibrating and make some sound.<p>

"Do you want something Randy?" He asked, he still sounded as defeated as he had last time we spoke. I winced.

"Nothing in particular, just wondering how you've managed to keep quiet for almost a week and a half" I grunted back.

"You want to know why" he laughed bitterly and I stood watching him still, "Its because I don't know you anymore"

"What are you talking about?" I scoffed.

"You changed"

"What?" I laughed, about to make some smart arse comment but John completely shut me down.

"You changed, your not the man I waited on anymore" I froze as John tried to slip past me.

"What?" I whispered, as I pulled him into me. He pushed me away.

"You are not the man I was waiting on any more" he repeated loudly, I must have looked as gobsmacked as I felt, because he carried on, "I didn't know I was waiting on you, I always wondered why I put up with all your egotistical bullshit and I never had an answer until now, I was waiting, on you - but the you I was waiting on wasn't the you I've gotten" He shrugged looking almost defeated.

Once again fear gripped me, and it made sense why. I didn't want to lose John.  
>That suddenly made sense too. I didn't want to lose John because I love him.<p>

"John" I begged, "If your talking about the locker room-"

"OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT THE LOCKER ROOM" And now it was my turn to be scared as he advanced on me. "God if you knew how much I always wanted you in that locker room with me while I was like that, even before I knew. Before anything happened between us" He raved, "If you knew even a single ounce" he shook his head, "Jesus Randy. I've waited over 10 years for you and for what? To be treated like scum"

"You aren't exactly Mr. Innocent here John" I shot back, "You cock blocked me for months so I would sleep with you after cutting off all and any signs that you wanted anything from me!"

"I cock blocked you so you would want me, yeah! I did, I wanted you to want me and not some Red head from the Hilton, is that so bad?" He begged, "It was so easy after days only days for you to fall back into the Randy Orton the world knows, the player"

"The straight guy" I corrected for John and he bowed his head nodding once.

"Yeah, the straight guy" he sighed, "I had a lot of idea's how it would happen, I knew it would be rough and you'd be hacked off, but that no" he shrugged.

"What DID you expect?" I yelled on the verge of breaking down, "Huh? Flowers and candles and declarations of love? For me to swoop into your dressing room and make love to you?" I hissed, hurt, angry and confused. The only things I've ever known.

John took a step back but didn't reply and that's when I realized. That's exactly what John expected. I stood in completely shock as John grabbed his belongings and left the hotel room swiftly.

I sat on my bed, let my hands catch my head as it fell & for the first time in years. I cried. I cried for what seemed hours, with each tear I died a little more inside as I realized how much I had not only destroyed my friend ship with John. My career with John, but any real chance I ever had with a life with John.

& only now did I realize how much it made sense.  
>No more sleeping around.<br>No more leaving the loved one behind.  
>No more being paranoid about what my lover would be doing half way across the world.<p>

Because if I had John. He'd be right beside me. Always.  
>Like he always had &amp; never would be again.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>I know I have a cheek, but please Review. I want to know what people REALLY think of this story.<strong>_  
><em><strong>So much love :) xx<strong>_


	8. Chapter 8

It was almost time for the rumble. Honestly months had passed. John had flung his weight around and got our rooms separated, much to the annoyance of the middle cards. When Ted asked what happened, I told him I moved his bath soaps again. He knew I was lying, everyone did. But with nothing else to go on, its all they had.

Days where quiet, I was acting more like what people expected from me. I was acting like the legend killer, the serpent Randy Orton. It was easy to act like the guy everyone seen on screen, because these days we weren't so different. Same cold eyes, same never moving sneer. Unless it was people I had known for years, no one came near me.

And depressingly that's what I wanted. I wanted as little interaction with people as possible, I only wanted interaction with one person & he floated around like I didn't exist.

Worst of all, our storyline was over, so I didn't even get to work with him anymore. The longer I was away from John, the more I became bitter. I was so angry, always, but above all I was confused by John & I was hurt by him.

I had never, in all my time as a wrestler had to spend so much time alone, or felt alone. I love John, truly I did. I knew it. Looking back now, I never truly loved Sam, and deep down she knew it. Which is probably why she found herself in the arms of another man.

It may have taken 10 years, several drunken fumbles, and two practical rapes on my side. But I loved John & I wanted him more than anything.

Everyone knew something was wrong with me, John was keeping it together quite well, but me I was a wreck. All I did was eat sleep work and work out. Most people thought it was my divorce grief finally settling in and I was in no hurry to tell anyone any different. It was an excuse and I would stick to it.

A few road agents had asked me if I wanted any help but I refused. Hunter had tried to talk to me, fuck even Evan Bourne, a guy I had met when I was younger through my dad had asked me if I was okay.

I lied an told everyone I was fine, or I would be.

Truth be told. I didn't know how to deal with anything without John. I didn't know anything without John. I knew I had to make it right, and I knew how. I just didn't know if I was wanted anymore.

I battled day in and day out for months if I should make it right, but it never seemed right. I sighed rubbing my face.

It was always this time of the day where this all went through my head. When John and I where finished our matches and I knew what he would be doing in that locker room alone. I knew how to make it right I just wasn't sure.

"You ready for Sunday big guy?" I looked up and seen Hunter.

"Always ready" I nodded, if i was proud of one thing it's how I hadn't turned back to drugs yet. I had thought about it, and I knew it was why hunter was keep such a close eye on me. If I was honest the only real reason I hadn't touched a single pill yet was because I knew how much John detested me when I was like that, and I didn't want to give him anymore reason to hate me.

"What number are you?" he asked and I smiled.

"27"

"One before John, figures I'm 4 myself" My heart burst.

I hadn't made the very simple connection that tomorrow I would be in ring with John. I hadn't prepared myself to be that close with him.

"Four?" I laughed nervously, "Gonna be a long night for you"

"Well someone's gotta do it" I smiled nodding, "Never gonna beat mysterio though, over an hour in at number one?" I whistled low nodding.

"Fuck that" I laughed. He stood once more and I knew he had seen enough to know I was getting though another day drug free. It was annoying sometimes but it was nice to know someone cared enough to check.

As Hunter walked away I very quickly tried to prepare myself for the match tomorrow, sure I would only be in ten minutes, but that was ten minutes I had to be in physical contact with the man I was in love with.

*

I gulped as I bounced on the matt waiting for the mystery number 28 to come down. John's theme blared and every single inch of my body reacted the same way the teenage girl in the front rows did. I wanted to cry and scream just as loudly as she was, but instead of screaming for him, at him, under him, on top of him. Anything.

John slid into the ring and eyed me, those amazing blues. He ripped off his tshirt in a millisecond and my eyes scanned every inch of his perfect body. We circled each other for what felt a long time. I could hear Jerry on commentary saying it was out of respect for each other, but we both knew it was out of fear more than anything.

Finally locking up, my legs felt weak and he took advantage of that pushing me down. We hadn't had time to prepare for this, we hadn't had spoken what we where going to do, so when I dragged him onto the matt, onto his back, he looked shocked. I leaned over him, punching into his head, determined not to look into his eyes, fear of getting lost. He pushed me off of him, rolling out from under me. We both quickly got to our feet. I eyed the time. 3 minutes left. I had to be over that top rope by the time that clock hit 30 seconds. I Ran at John clothes lining him, he stood and I done it again. Pent up anger and frustration coming out, and I'm sure I looked more like the viper than I ever had.

He wrapped his arms around my waist grabbing my tights for a suplex and the lowest of moans left my mouth. He slammed me to the ground with far to much effort, it had me arching off the ground in a way that had Johns eyes lit up excitedly. He lifted me up for the AA and I caught glance of the clock. 34. I let him through me over the top rope, and let the world scream in happiness as the John only had two more people to go through to go to Mania. I smiled lightly as the fan girl screamed in joy. Well fuck you fan girl, I've fucked him harder than you ever could. I grinned as the refs helped me up. I stood for a moment eyeing John, he stood above me eyeing me also. I gulped lightly. His eyes saying more than he ever could.

He loved me and hurt him. I shook my head, my jaw clenching and I stalked backstage, just as Shawn Micheals music hit.

"Good match kid" I looked up at Hunter and smiled, even though inside I was dying.

"Thanks H" I smiled, "You done great, 13 people out?" I nodded in approval. He flexed his arms, "Only some of us have the power, know what I mean" I shook my head laughing.

I made my way to my dressing room getting changed. Not bothering to shower as I knew I could do that at my own hotel room. I sulked at the very thought of spending another night alone.

A small knock came at my door, I stood up curious as to who thought it would be okay to interrupt the viper - post match. I opened the door, ready to sneer away who ever it was, but stopped when I seen the most perfect man I had ever met.

"John" I breathed. His head hung low, and he still had his ring gear on.

"You left this out there, um Shaggy the little ref" he showed me his height knowing I never really paid much attention to the other staff, I nodded, "He was going to come by, but you didn't seem in the best of moods soo I um.." he trailed off handing me my tshirt, "I know you like this one" I nodded, not even completely sure which tshirt he handed me.

"Thanks John" He looked at me once more and my heart crumbled, my chest pained. He hesitated for a moment before muttering, "Laters" I nodded gulping as tears sprung to my eyes, I closed the door. Sliding down it, letting the tears fall. Breathing deeply scared I would forget how.

Another knock came at the door, this one much more demanding. I stood quickly once again ready to shout anyone away who wanted to bother me at this time.

"WHAT?" I roared.

"Well hello Randal" Hunter chuckled unphased by my mood swings, I eyed him, "Want a beer without the fans in the hotel bar?" I nodded, "Well stop shouting at me" he smirked and I grabbed my stuff.

As I walked ins silence, I thought about how much Hunter had done for me over the years. He was like a brother, waiting till I couldn't handle things, stepping in fixing everything & then leaving me to my own devices. Sure, he never had to much with John around. But when we where on separate brands & I got into drugs Hunter would always step in. I wondered if it was what he was doing now.

I stepped into his rental as we sped off towards the hotel. Once we arrived without saying another word to each other, I knew Hunter was up to something. He always was, suppose that's why they called him Hunter.

He opened the door and I sunk into the bed. I noticed there was only one double.

"Where Steph?" I asked him.

"Out with some friends" I nodded, "Wont be back till later" He tossed me a can from the mini fridge.

"So why have you kidnapped me?" I asked and he chuckled, settling in beside me.

"Please you came willingly" we both chuckled before silence fell once more, "I um. I know what your going through" I turned confused.

"You and Steph getting a divorce?" he chuckled,

"No, No that's career suicide man. I mean with John" I froze,

"I don't-"

"Do you remember when Me & Shawn got forced to fight each other?" Now I was seriously confused.

"Of course I do, it was some of the greatest matches, we've seen this decade" I rolled my eyes taking some more of the beer. Hunter picked up the remote and turned the t.v on. I only now noticed it was a reply of the rumble. He fast forwarded it till I came out. I watched myself play cool calm and cocky. He fast-forward a few minutes until John was in the ring. He paused it.

"What did ric always say made a great rivalry?"

"Intensity" I had heard him say it a billion times before he retired.

"How do you get intense with your ring mate?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Doesn't matter how, - sleep with them if you have to" He eyed me and I caught his eye. Suddenly understanding.

"You fucked Shawn!" I accused.

"You fucked Cena" he shot back. I nodded letting my head fall.

"When'd you guys work it out?" I lifted my head, "That one you where gay, and two you where in love with each other?"

"Last year" I knew there was no point in denying it. And truth be told I didn't want to. I wanted to talk about it, wanted it get it all out. It.

"After your divorce?" I nodded, "Figures Cena would be the moral one" He chuckled.

"So are you and Shawn cheating on-"

"Not quiet, it's complicated" I eyed him willing him to go on. "I'm gay, Stephs gay" my eyes popped.

"No way? Devoted to you like no one else Steph?" I laughed, truely shocked.

"Yeah, her and Rebecca walked in on me and Shawn at it one day in the head quarters-"

"Wait? Shawn's WIFE Rebecca?" This just got better,

"Yeah. We all knew Vince wouldn't accept any of us being gay. So we decided to pair up, that way we could still be with who we loved but in a way that wouldn't kill our careers" He smiled.

"Wow. Never seen Steph as a carpet muncher" Hunters hand hit the back of my head so quickly I didn't have time to react.

"Thats my wife" he growled warningly.

"Your fake wife" I pointed out, as he passed me another can.

"I still love her" I cocked my head a little confused, "She found a way to let me have everything I wanted in life. She was the very key to it. Career, Kids, Shawn" I smiled at him seeing how it worked out, "I may not be in love with her, but I'll forever love her"

"Wow" was all I could say. I glanced at the screen once more, almost instantly regretting it.

"There is a point to me kidnapping you, you know" I smiled at the joke, "You and Cena need to find your Steph so to speak, your own way to get everything you ever wanted in life"

"I wish I could, I just don't know if I'm still wanted" Suddenly Hunter pulled the back of my neck up so I was in line with the t.v screen. He pressed play,

"Watch John" Like I had to be told twice, "Look at how he fucking looks at you, he's practically begging you to fuck him right there" My mind wandered back to a conversation I had once had with John. It felt so long ago, so very long ago indeed.

_"I've__always__wanted__to__fuck__someone__in__the__ring,__so__its__no__real__surprise__to__me__to__find__myself__thinking__of__it"  
><em>  
>I eyed the screen for the longest time, I only now noticed how hurt John looked as I walked away. I only now noticed how angry I was at myself for not trying harder to go after John.<p>

"Your right"

"Usually am, but tell me about which part" He smirked and I pushed him lightly.

"All of it I guess" I smiled, "I love him H, I want him more than anything, even if he does hate me. I need to try"

"He didn't look like he hated you when he brought your least favourite shirt back to your locker room" he noticed.

"You seen that huh?"

"Yeah, I've been noticing it for a while. It's only obvious to people who have been through something similar" I nodded.

"Shawn okay with you telling me all this?" He nodded,

"His idea" I nodded once more, finishing off my second can.

"It's been awful without him H" I groaned, "If I could go back to how it started" I sighed.

"How did it start?" He asked curiously,

"That fucking I quit match, being handcuffed to him and being made to submit to the world got to fucking much" He smirked lightly, in a knowing way.

"I might be able to help you" I raised an eyebrow. "Leave it too me" 


	9. Chapter 9

_**I am so sorry for the wait. I have so much typed up and I will try get as much out asap.**_  
><em><strong>But my father died on Friday night and since I have been rushed off my feet trying to everything I possibly can for my family. <strong>_  
><em><strong>I regret to say that my family at this point in time are more important than your need for slash.<strong> _

* * *

><p>A days passed from that night. I wasn't as grumpy as I usually was. I had faith in Hunter. I knew he would try help me out, even if he hadn't been through something so similar, he would always help me out. I had new hope.<p>

I walked towards the headquaters for a staff meeting. It was officialy the road to mania and we all wanted our storylines, wanted to know where the next few months would take us.

"Randy" I turned to see Shawn just getting out of his car, I smiled warmly at him.

"Hey Shawn" I greeted as he caught up with me. There was a new air around us an understanding of some sort.

"My boys been jumping through rings for you these last few days" I raised a brow as he caught into step with me, "Make it worth it yeah?"

"Don't know what he's done, but I'll try" I smirked knowing Hunter didn't do things by half measures when he set out to do something.

"You'll see soon enough" he smirked as we walked towards the confernce room, "Good luck by the way" he smirked and I shook my head as I stook my seat beside him and Hunter.

People came in, in drips and drabs yet last but not least sitting directly in front of me was John Cena. My heart lept into my throat, as I looked down at my hands. I felt a hand on my knee, I looked up at Shawn as he smiled sadly to me. I smiled back knowing it was a false smile, but I was greatful to have him and H there.

"Okay people" I looked at Vince, "This is this years top card" We looked around and nodded, "This year will have John Cena versus Randy Orton" I almost chocked on my tongue as Shawn and Hunter sniggered, "I know its a bit sudden but me and a few of the production team guys thought it would be a great idea, the responce from the Rumble on you both was great, seemed silly not to build on it"

I looked around confused, me and John had storylines. Good ones at that. A script fuller as any other I had ever seen fell in front of me, and I glanced side ways at hunter who smiled and lowly said, "Not bad for 5 days work eh?"

"What about our storyline?" I hissed,

"I'm taking over from that" Shawn smiled, "Works out great, I get more time with H, you get more time with John" I looked across the table at John who was flicking through his equally thick script and our eyes met, before I gulped as did he.

"The road to wretlemania huh?" he let out sounding as if he was having trouble breathing.

"Looks like its gonna be a long one huh?" I held up the booklet and he nodded before looking back at vince as he started to talk.

Note to Self; Destroy DX after I get through this termendasly large script.

I pased my locker room, I stood in my ring gear. I was just waiting for the call that I had 5 minutes before I had to go. Go take John's belt and smack him over the head with it, ruining his victory. I started to hyperventialate.

Once again we hadn't spoken the match over. Something I wasn't used to.

It wasn't like I had, had much interaction with John since the day he walked out of our hotel room. There was the house show that night,

_"John" I sighed as he tried to walk past me._

"Forget it Randy" he hissed walking into his locker room.

"John" I tried again, opening the door.

"Randy just leave me alone please? I'm sick of this shit. I don't know what I ever expected from you, or you from me, but I'm sorry for now I'm going to have to break a promise to you. I can't be friends. Not like this" My head spun. It was offcial. I had lost John. Lost the one remaining person in the world I had any kind of hope or faith in. I nodded respecting his wishes, I wasn't going to hurt him any more. He'd asked me to leave him and thats what I would do. Turning leaving the locker room I tired not to break down.

Then there was the time Vince had pulled us in about stopping rooming together.

_"Is it true you'd find it easier to have your own space right now?" I nodded not even completely sure what I was agreeing to, I was a mess, which only helped John's case.  
>John who stood in the corner not meeting my gaze, hiding behind the fact I wouldn't bring 'it' up infront of Vince.<em>

"Yeah" I nodded, "No offence to John" I hissed, "But being around him 24/7 isn't the easiest thing to do when I'm trying to get my head straight - again no offence your just not easy to be around" John glared at me before painting on his baby face smile.

"It's fine man - you just do what you gotta do to set everything right again yeah? Dont miss me to much either"

"Like I could"

Vince completely missed everything, taking it for playful banter, and got us sperate rooms, but the sly digs hurt me more than he would ever know.

Then there was the last time I tried to talk to him if it wasn't nessasary. It was a drunk night in the hotel bar.

_It was almost empty, closing time or there abouts. I slid into the booth John had been at all night._

"Why'd you do it John?" I begged.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Why'd you wait till you where ready to leave to tell me you loved me?" I was shitfaced drunk and would regret this in the morning.

"I was never ready to leave Randy. You pushed me away" He sighed, he looked drunk but not nearly as bad as me.

"I never pushed you away" I protested.

"Yeah you did, you continuesly treated me like" he took a deep breath, "You treated me like I meant nothing to you and I wasn't sticking around for the rest of the show. I already know how the controlling Viper gets with his prey" He stood walking away.

And that right there is when I decided he was right. I had treated him wrong too many times and he deserved so much better than I was willing to give him. I decided right then I would leave him alone.

"Randy?" I snapped out of it,

"Y-Yeah?" I replied.

"Your up, John's match is just about over" I nodded.

"Okay" I took a deep breath before walking out.

I watched on the monitor as John was finishing his match.

"You look like you've seena ghost kid" I looked up at Shawn and nodded.

"I'm not sure I can do this" I groaned, "There was a reason I left him alone"

"& I don't care what that is" Shawn laughed, "Go get him, please trust me"

"QUE ORTON" I looked at the screen and I ran out, picking up John's belt on the way. I slid into the ring so fast I'm sure it gave his entrance a run for his money and then I took a deep breath waiting for him to trun around, and as he did I hit him over the head with the belt.

John fell to the ground convinciling and I climb the turn buckle holding the belt, claiming to the fans and camera that it would soon be mine.

Back stage John was being seen to and I went to see how he was going, mildily hopeing he would have a concussion so we didn't have to do this stupid storyline.

"Hey" I said as I slid in, I smiled at Ed who smiled back at me.

"Hey" he replied, he sounded slightly dizzy, "You made me dizzy" I chuckled lightly, seeing him find it hard to focus on me.

"He'll need someone to saty with him tonight" I nodded, not sure who would do it.

"Is he injured?" I asked.

"No, just too much alchol last night mixxed with not taking the blow right. He's lucky its not a concussion to be honest. Just dizzy and gonna have a pleting sore head tomorrow. Make sure he takes these first thing?" He haded me seriously strong pain killers and I nodded.

"Okay John we need to get you into the locker room, changed and then hotel bound" I shakily put my arm around him and he let me help him up. Ignoring the urge to run my hands over his bare torso. Ignoring the urge to push him again a wall or tilt my head to the side lightly and kiss him.

"Can we just get my stuff and go back to the hotel?" I nodded.

"Sure, whatever you want"

I seen Hunter on the way to John's locker room and I shook my head.

"Can you grab my shit? Someones gotta stay with him tonight, I suppose since I caused it I should be doing it?"

"Yup" Shawn smiled, "Do the crime, Do the time" He also smirked. I tired not to think about how ovbious they where being but I knew they knew what they where doing. They'd gotten away with it themselves for years.

"Sure, we'll grab your stuff, get you out by the car?" I nodded as I went into Johns locker room, quickly gathering his stuff.

We made out way slowly out to the car park because John kept complaining he was dizzy.  
>Shawn helped me put our stuff away before I got into the car and drove off.<p>

"Thank you Randy" I eyed him.

"For?"

"Helping me. Staying with me. I didn't expect you to, thought I'd have to bribe a fan or something" I rolled my eyes.

"Like I'd ever force you to interact with fans" I said sarcasticall and smirked and he chuckled himself.

We pulled up and I grabbed our stuff though he seemed to be okay to walk by himself now. I staied close just incase. We checked in and then left for our room for the night.

As we got in I noticed we only had one bed between us. I gulped.

"You don't need to stay Randy, I'll be fine - thanks for driving me back" he started apon seeing my face.

"No" I stopped him, "I'll stay I just forgot that there would be only one bed. It's okay" I tried to reason with myself more than John.

We both got ready for bed, John turned the light out and we lay facing oposite each other, a larage space in between us, which was causing the cover to be strained between the both of us and a large draft was coming over my back. I tried to ignore my body, and my thoughts. Telling myself I was only hear to help John. I was only here because I hurt him, and I would do the same for any other superstar who needed me if I hurt them.

I knew it was all lies, but it's what got me to sleep that night.

I woke the next morning to a body tangled around mine. I breathed in instantly recognising the smell. John's smell. I sighed, completely content. Glancing at the clock on the night stand, realised I still had half an hour before I had to get up and ready. I planned on spending it lying in John's arms.

"Randy?" John whispered and I didn't respond, scared to. After a few seconds John let out a sigh of relief before settling in behind me again. His face into my neck and his arms wrapped firmly around me. I felt in heaven. I pushed back into his brace, not even worried right now at what I was doing or how this may inpact us. "Thought I'd been caught there" John muttered shaking his head. I smiled. If anything came of today and last night, it was that John in some way still cared for me. Still wanted to be close to be. Wether that be as a friend or more, I wasn't sure, but lying there wrapped up in his arms, safe from the world and his anger, his gaurd down and the truth oozing out of him I didn't care. I knew I meant something to John and something was defiently better than nothing.

"I'll never understand why you done it Randy" He whispered into my ear in the same hurting voice I hated to know I caused, "We could have been so good together" My eyes started to water as once again my heart shattered. I didn't want to risk him moving away from me so I just let the tears fall, streaming over my face and pooling onto my pillow, "I'd have given you everything you ever wanted. Didn't I protect you?" He begged, "I always thought I done right by you, always thought I was the one you knew would save you" Something else I could take from these last few hours, John was just as broken as I was regardless of the front he put up. "Jesus Randy I wish I was the one to save you" He ran a hand down the side of my face, dangerously close to the tear streaks, "I always wanna save you. I always at least try to" He sniffed and I felt a single tear on the side of my neck. A lump formed in my throat that I wouldn't be able to shift. "Fuck John what are you doing?" he asked himself before pulling away from me, heading towards the shower room. I dared to breathe now as I heard the shower start. I sat up rubbing my eyes and groaning lightly.

A sudden beeping caught my attention and I turned to alarm off, ordering coffee for John and myself while waiting for the shower to be free.

Moments later, John came out fully dressed and I smiled to him. We where both sad, but we tried to brush it off. I held up his coffee and his pain killers.

"Thanks Randy" he muttered pulling a face as he washed down the pain relief. I giggled lightly at him before brushing by him to shower.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Depressing. I know. Again sorry for the wait xx<strong>_


	10. Chapter 10

_**So I thought I'd try get as much as possible posted since it may be a while until I write and or post again? **_  
><em><strong>Please review? <strong>_

* * *

><p>"Orton get your ass out here" I done as I was told. Walking down the ramp cocky smile on my face. The crowd booed me and I soaked it up letting it fuel me. I walked as slowly as I ever did to the ring, watching him watch me. As I climbed into the ring reciving a mic on the way. We stood facing each other, tension tastable and by god did the crowd love it.<p>

"You seem pissed Cena" I chuckled into the mic and a smile spread acorss his face,

"Do I? You know I have no idea why" He paused pretending to think and I loved every single second of it, "Maybe it's because after my tittle match on Monday, you came out and smacked me over the head with my own tittle-"

"Yeah well come Sunday it'll be mine anyway so why don't you quit whining and get over it?" I asked as I turned to climb back out the ring. He grabbed me by the wrist and spun me so quickly by the time I caught my feeting I was pressed completely up against him - foreheads touching. I growled slightly trying desperatly to keep in character. We kept pushing out foreheads against each other and then I steped back once and laughed, climbing out the the ring and never looking at him. I got backstage and breathed. Truely breathed like I hadn't the whole time I was out there.

"That looked great Randy" Vince beamed, "Well done" I nodded

"Thanks Vince" I eyed Cena as Vince caught up with him. He eyed me back and we both shared another small sad smile.

"On a scale from one to ten" I turned and seen Shawn and Hunter smirking wildly, "How hard was it not to take him then and there?" Shawn finished.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me once you two have finished?" I smirked and they smiled.

Every week since my storyline with Cena started back up, they had looked out for me. Tried to talk me into to talking to him and all in all trying to get me with Cena.  
>It had failed, ovbiously. If it didn't include our matches, I didn't talk to Cena. Even after knowing he still cared for me, I couldn't find the will to walk back into his life.<p>

I started to get changed and I smiled. Tonight we where in St Louis. I hadn't seen Alana yet, but I had aranged to meet with Sam to see her tomorrow. Since the divorce she hadn't aloud me to see her, not like I had had the time too.

A small knock came at my locker room door and I opened it, "Shawn I-" I stopped dead in my tracks seeing Sam. She looked nervous and small. The exact same way she did when she told me she had been having an affair.

"We need to talk" She stated, "Can we go somewhere?"

"A few of the lads want to go out for a few Sam. Is it really important?" I asked her finishing packing.

"Its about Alana" I stopped hearing my daughters name. I grabbed my stuff and she fell into step with me. As we walked through the arena I seen the confussed looked from everyone. I ignored them, all but one that belonged to a certain pair of blue eyes.

"Where is Lana anyways?" I asked as we climbed into the car and drove off towards my hotel.

"With Greg" I laughed bitterly.

"I get banned from seeing her for months while you move your new man in and replace me as a father?" I shook my head.

Other than that it was completely silent until we got into my room. It was awful, I wanted to know what was wrong my my daughter, why hadn't Sam brought her with her? I shook the doubts out of my head. I sat my things down, pulling things out to wear tonight waiting on Sam starting to talk.

"Are you gonna talk?" I snapped. Still annoied that she hadn't broughten my baby girl with her.

"I um" she swallowed, "I lied about when the afair with Greg started" I pulled a confussed face.

"Sam I honestly couldn't care if the afair started one year or 8 years ago now. The only reason I have to still be conected to you is my daughter" Her eyes whelled up and I stopped what I was doing realizing something was really wrong.

"I really didn't wanna do this Randy. He made me" I was beyond confused now. I kneeled in front of her,

"Sam, you not making any sence whats wrong"

"I meant it when I said I never wanted to hurt you Randy. It still stands"

"Sam tell me whats wrong!" I was starting to panic.

"The afair started four years ago not three" she said again and I was so confused with her constant jumping,

"So he made you tell me?" I asked confussed and she shook her head, more tears falling from her eyes as she did, "What did he make you do Sam?" She opened up her bag and handed me two letters. Confussed I opened them.  
><em><br>Dear Mrs. Orton. We are pleased to inform you we have found a conclusive match from the two DNA samples you sent us. Results can be found below and if you have any questions or further inquires please do not hesitate to contact us.  
><em>  
>I Ignored the rest of the letter and looked at Sam who was crying silently now.<p>

"Sam what does it mean the two DNA samples?"

"Yours and Gregs" My heart shattered as I finally relized what was going on. I scanned the letter and sure as hell it was written in black and white, "Alana's not mine" She shook her head no. The room started to spin as my world fell from under me.

I grabbed her wrist pulling her to her feet a blind rage taking over me. "How?" I shook my head, "Why after all this time?" I couldn't even think straight.

"Randy let go your hurting me" She sobbed but I didn't, "I thought she was yours. I wanted her to be users"

"Why so you could keep the house and the cars?" I scoffed, "You really are pathetic Sam"

"No!" She defiended crying harder, "You love her, and she adores you. I so badly wanted her to be yours!"

"Get out Sam. Please just leave" I asked letting go of her arm.

"Randy I'm sorry" She cried.

"Are you the perfect little family now? With the perfect home?" She cried harder, "I hope your happy now I really do. You've managed to take everything away from me" I roared, now also crying, "GET OUT! NOW! MOVE!" She grabbed her bag, opening the door, she turned to say something but I slammed the door in her face.

I gripped the letter with dear life. I realized I had lost everything.  
>My wife, my home, my daughter and John.<br>Everything.

I crawled towards my bag, pulling my phone out. Dailing a number from memory. Something in the back of my mind told me this wasn't a good idea but

"Randy?" A small male voice asked, "It's been a while mate! Where have you been?"

Ignoring his small talk I simply asked, "How quickly can you meet me with a $40 bag?"

"Of your shit? Now? I've got Two bags sitting ready"

"I want them both" I said.

"No problem, meet you at the usual spot"

"Give me twenty minutes, need to change and hit an ATM up"

"See you soon brother"

I walked into the club, people already dancing around me. It was all too fimaliar. It was even the same bar staff. I slid into a booth beside Alex.

"You look rough Randy" he noted.

"It happens when bitches completely wreck your life" He passed me a beer he had ovbiously ordered for me.

"Sam? Thought you where over her?" I nodded.

"Oh I am. But she left out one little detail when she told me about the afair"

"Yeah?" He questioned, all the while sitting to pretty bags in my lap under the table. I passed him the money in the same order, "What she do this time" I passed him the letter and he scanned over it and chocked on his beer.

"Alana's not yours" I shook my head managing to open the bag on my lap and pull out two pills washing them down with the beer.

"Randy do you really think its best right now?" He questioned.

"Yes" I stated taking another two with my beer.

"Maybe just one bag?" he questioned.

"12 little pills are not gonna take the edge off" I hissed, "I'll be fine. I know when to stop" He nodded. A pretty blonde with pratically nothing on had caught my eye as she danced and I smiled towards her.

"Give me a call in the morning. Let me know your still alive yeah?"

"Yes mother" I rolled my eyes as the blonde walked towards me, "Later Alex"

"Later Randy" He sighed and lefted the booth.

The Blonde took his place. I smirked towards her.

"Randy Orton" I eyed her, "You looking for a good time?" she had way to much make up on and her hair was badly dyed, with roots coming in. Her teeth where an off yellow colour. Her dress screamed easy, but right now I didn't care if I had to pay for a good night. I was going to forget all about Sam, Greg, John and Alana.

"I'm always looking for a good time" I smirked at her, "Question is can you give me it"

"You give me a few of those pretty pills on you lap, and I'll give you whatever you need"

"Take a bag for all I care" I noted how my vision was already starting to blur I knew it would be stupid to take both bags and if she only wanted some pills to have a good time, she could join me. She stood walking around the table sitting on my lap. To anyone watching I was getting a lap dance from a fan. No one would have known we where fucked out of our face on pills, then again I doubted anyone really cared.

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><p><em><strong>Sorry about any mistakes, I really don't have the time to be fucking with spell check atm : xx **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**3rd chapter today? Lucky arnt you all.  
>Please review?<strong>_

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><p><strong>John's point of view.<strong>

I walked out of the bar. Walking the few blocks towards the hotel. I was egdy, like I knew something was going to go wrong. I could feel it. I pushed it to the back of my mind, saying it was only because we where in Randy's home town that something was going to happen.

"John?" I looked up expecting to see a fan, but wanting to slap the person I did see.

"Samantha?" I eyed her, her eyes where red she had been crying. I knew only one person in the world could make her cry like this.

"God John its all such a mess" I eyed her confused. "I've hurt him bad" I wanted to laugh in her face and tell her she couldn't hurt Randy not anymore than I had.

"Sam Randys been having a bad time lately if you've seen him and hes been horrid to you its not yoru fault" I tried to reason with her as I swayed lightly.

"He has?" She looked crushed, "Fuck" I eyed her knowing there was more to this story.

"You want a drink?" She nodded as we walked back to the club. I avoided the guys as I slid her into a quiet tabel. We got a beer each as I tried to reason I shouldnt be angry at her, yet for some reason I was.

"I told him the truth" she said after a moment, "Why i've been hiding Alana away from him" I looked at her, "The afair with Greg started a year earler than I said it had" I knew that she was going to say before she said it, "She isnt his John we got DNA's done. Alana is Gregs daughter"

"So not only did you take away his house, not only did you sleep with his friend, your taking his only child away from him too now" she nodded taking my abuse,

"John you don't know what it was like-"

"Save it. Honestly. It's not me who you should be explaining to - Does Alana know or his family?"

"I told his mum yesterday, she said she was leaving ti to me to tell him. She never wants to see me again surprisinly" she scoffed, "I'm gonna try explain to Alana tomorrow" she nodded. Something else dawned on me.

"How. Um How did Randy take it?" I asked and she shook her head.

"He just started screaming and told me to leave then slammed the door on my face" she shrugged finally coming to terms with it. I stood quickly.

"I swear if he's done anything stupid because of you" I prayed to god he hadn't taken anything, but I knew Randy. I knew how much he loved his daughter and I knew how much this would kill him. I shook my head wishing more than anything he had me to turn to.

"If he has, he'll be in blue heaven" she muttered the name of the club where Randy always met his dealer "Look after him John. You always save him" I wanted to cry right now.

"I'll do my best" I left her with her beer and left. Hunter caught my eye and fallowed me outside. I ignored him best I could just detemained to find the damn club. His wrist caught my arm and I spun to meet him.

"Care to explain why your sitting with Randy's ex wife"

"Look I need to go, Randy could be in trouble" I tried to pull my arm out of his hand.

"How?" It was Shawn. I smiled at him. Shawn had told me all about his weird family, about how I should get back with Randy etc. I trusted him.

"Sam dropped the bomb that Alana isn't his" Their faces dropped, "Look we all know Randy he doesn't deal very well" I frowned trying not to think of the state he could be in by now.

"He needs you John" I nodded.

"Do you know where he'll be?" I nodded, not doubting ti for a second.

"Look after him?" Hunter asked and I nodded.

"I'll do my best, I'll check in later okay?" They nodded and I hailed a cab down.

*

**Randy's point of view**  
>She put the condom in her mouth and pushed her mouth over my dick, I sighed as she pulled her mouth back and I fixed the condom properly.<br>I pushed her against the sink smiling, neither of us cared if anyoen came in and I was far to wasted to even know if someone hand. I pushed her dress up her pale skin and I pulled her underwear down, I slid into her easily, she moaned lightly.

Over the last few hours I had found out that she wanted exactly what I wanted. To get fucked up and then fucked. So hard it left bruises. Since neither of us could have who we wanted. She some other guy and me John. I started slamming into her, her too willing body nothing like the one I wanted and I wondered lightly if I should have picked a guy instead. Ignoring the thought, I slammed into her a few more times before spilling into the condom.

I pulled out of her and she stood up turning lightly. "Two left" She shook her bag at me. We had long since finished mine. I took the bag from her placing both on my tongue, I pulled her forward kissing her as she swiped one off my tongue. We pulled back and laughed hysterically at nothing.

Nothing seemed real anymore and I felt no pain.

"Randy?" I turned towards the door and groaned.

"Whatya want John?" I asked, as she walked into one of the cubicals probabaly to clean up.

"To help you" He eyed me and shook his head, he walked forward placing his hands around the base of my cock and pulled the condom off. He tied it and binned it before fixing my trousers. I just let him not sure I could do anything else, "How much have you had?" He asked me and I shrugged, "Not enough" He groaned in frustraition.

"Come on we're going back to the hotel"

"No" I didn't want to go back to the reality of it all, I wanted to stay her with my strage new ugly easy friend who likes the same shit I do and get so wasted much more wasted.

"Randy I'm not asking you" He pleaded.

"Go on Randy, your boyfriends missing you" His eys whidened but I hadn't told her any of that. Actually I hadn't told her anything.

"And you are?" He asked her, disgust written over his face.

"If I haven't told Randy here, why would I tell you" She laughed manically, ovbiously fucked out of her face.

"Randy move"

"John I don't know why your here, but I am a grown man-"

"I'm here because I bumped into Sam" My eyes narrowed, rage took over me and I knew they could both see it, "I know. Now come on"

"No invite for me?" She laughed ovbiously pretending, "Oh well, never was a Cena fan anyway" She laughed grabbing her bag leaving the toilets. As soon as the door sung closed. John turned to me, his face torn between anger, hurt and confusion.

"Randy just let me take care of you?" And now that the starnge blonde was gone. I needed someone, I looked into John's eyes and nodded.

"I want another drink"

"We'll get one at the hotel" he promised. I nodded as we stumble out the toilet. I walked through the crowd, the flashing lights making me blind every few seconds, the beat of the music making me want to dance till my feet gave way, and the heat and sheer smell of people making me want to fuck every single person in here starting with John.

I stumbled out the front door and smirked at the door man who had been here for years. "Alright Danny?"

"Sup Orton?" He smiled, "Good night"

"Almost perfect" I laughed as John pushed me towards the cab that seemed to be waiting on us. I slid into the back and as did he.

"Hilton" John said and the driver took off. I watched through hazy eyes my hometown passed by me. Memorys fludding me as I was close to passing out too much drink and drugs threatening to take over me.

One particular memory took over me as we passed a park not far from my mothers house. It was Alana's first brithday. I had gotten the weekend off work and spent it with Sam and Lana. It all seemed perfect that weekend. My eyes watered as I bitterly thought about how it had already been going down hill for a year.

We stopped suddenly. I only realized as John helped me out the car. "Hunter if you would?" Someone else picked me up on the other side, helping me to walk.

"Oh hey H"

"You could have came to any one of us orton" Hunter hissed as we stood in the lift, "You didn't need to turn back to drugs" He sounded so disapointed. I laughed bitterly.

"I could have, but none of you would have sucked my dick under a table for a long island ice tea, now would you?" John hissed quietly in my ear.

"I'll talk to you in the morning Orton" He shook his head as he put all my weight onto John as he my room door, "You got him?" he nodded.

I stumbled into the room as John closed the door. I seen the letter still crumbled onto my bed. My vision once more started to blurr. I picked it up and re-read it. John sat beside me as finally the tears started to flow. "John" I croaked, and he nodded, "This" I held up the letter, "Destroied me" I tried to breath, "How could she not be mine?" John didn't know what to say or how to say it but he gave me what I'd truely been needing all night and that was someone to lean on, "I loved her like nothing else in this world" I cried, "I agreed I wouldnt see her for a while so she would get used to the divorce" I hissed, "Never did I think she was trying to break me away easily - what happend to the woman I married" I asked him, again he didn't know what to say.

"Sam would never try to hurt you Randy, not really. She was loney and she cheated yeah - but I don't think she ever dreamed Alana wasn't yours" He sighed, rubbing my arm. I clung to his chest crying.

"Well they've got their perfect little family now don't they?" I nodded and John sighed.

"Randy don't do this to yourself, don't beat yourself up. This is not your fault. I've seen what this does to you please don't do it again"

"Why do you even care John?" I groaned pushing him away.

"Because I'm the one who always has to save your ass"

"Then don't if it's so much hard work" I snapped, moving away from him completely.

"Randy don't push me away again" he tried to pull me back in again, "Please?"

"Why now John? Why come back now? Huh? Wanna be my buddy again all of a sudden?"

"I never stopped-"

"Yes you did! You said you couldn't be friends with me. You broke your promise" He sighed, and the room wouldn't stop spinning, to much emotion and substances in my body was a bad mixture, always has been.

"I know you need someone right now, someone you know will do anything to help you" I shook my head, " I've always saved you from youself Randy. I am NOT gonna stop now, not over a few drunken fumbles"

"That all it was to you?" I asked honestly and my mind swung, my heart ached.

"Of course not, but thats not what you need right now. We don't need to complicated everything right now. I'm here as a friend to help another in need" and I stupidily believed him. So stupidily believed he was only here to look after me. I lay down, still completely dressed, still clutching the letter. John kicked off his shoes and slid beside me holding onto me as I slid into a drug filled sleep.

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><p><em>Review please?<em>


	12. Chapter 12

_**I cried so much writing this a few weeks ago. Every girl needs their daddy don't they? **_

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>I groaned as the light hit my face, I opened one eye to see John standing opening the curtains. "Why John?" My head thumped and images from last night filled my mind. I knew I was in trouble, big time.<p><p>

"Why what? Why am I waking you up? Why is there fresh coffee on the night stand? Why haven't I kicked your ass to timbucktoo by now?" I nodded wishing I hadn't, he sighed, "Because I can't really be mad at you. You had every right to react the way you did"

I picked up my phone, slidding into a sitting position. I had a few missed calls and texts.

The first was from Alex. I quickly texted him back telling him I was fine and for a drug dealer he had way to much of a consinece.

Second was from Hunter telling me Vince said I was to have the day off, since he had called him and told him about Alana. I couldn't be pissed, everyone knew I couldn't show up to work today in this state. He also told me if I needed him to just call and I should give John a break. I rolled my eyes.

Third was from Vince telling me exactly what Hunter did.

I had a missed call from Sam and I decided that right now I should ignore it.

John handed me some pain relief and I smiled warmly at him as I downed them with my coffee, "Did you know her last night?" I eyeed him as he played with his hands.

"No" he nodded.

"Why'd you not call me?" he asked and I groaned.

"Because I was under the impression if it didn't involve work, we wern't on talking terms"

"Randy" he tried shaking his head, "I am always here for you when you need me, regardless of any other bullshit that goes on" he looked me dead in the eye, "You could have come to me and I would have welcomed you with open arms. I would have helped you"

"That seems to be the problem with us though doesn't it John" I hissed, "I always need to come to you. You never seem to be able to come to me"

"What do you call last night?" he snapped, "I knew you needed me-"

"I don't need anyone" I hissed, "I was doing just fine on my own"

"Yeah it looked it, drugged and drunk out your face, and fucking the easiest tart in the state?" I dropped my head.

"Fuck off John, you don't get it"

"I'm not trying to pretend I do. I'm just trying to help Randy"

"You can't help this time John. I -" I closed my eyes willing not to lie to him.

"Why? I always help!" he tried.

"Because I want you to badly" I moaned, "I want you so badly it hurts and I don't think I can cope with losing Lana and not having you all in one go" I sighed.

"Oh" was all I got from him as he stood.

"I need to deal with one thing at a time" I pleaded with him and he nodded understanding.

"Of course" He grabbed the little things he had stopping before me left, "Just promise me, no more drugs?" I nodded.

"Last night was a one time thing" I swore and he nodded.

"If you need me you know where to find me" I nodded, praying he wouldn't leave.

But he did because I asked him too, and he thought it's what I not only wanted but needed.

Later that day after I had passed out and slept a little more, got up and finally got showered and dressed I finally picked up the phone to Sam.

"What?" I asked seriously enraged she dared call me.

"Randy, please just here me out?" I groaned, "Alana wants to see you" My heart skipped a beat.

"What?" He almost chocked on my tongue.

"We told her today. She hasn't stopped crying, and just now she locked herself in her room and says she's not coming out till she see's you" I bit my lip having a war with my self, "I'm really scared Randy she's not answering us and I was cleaning her room this morning before Greg got back from work, all the stuffs in there. She could hurt herself please?"

"I'm not coming round because you asked me you know its for her"

"I know" she said.

"I'll be around in 5" I sighed. I grabbed some shoes and my key card.

I tried to sort my head out. I tried to think this through. I had to be strong her Alana. I had to tell her everything was gonna be okay and Greg would look after her and be a good father. I took a deep breath stepping into a cab. I gave them the address and he quickly pulled up only a few blocks away. I would have walked but the cab was there and quicker. I stared at the home that used to be my own. I sighed deeply walking through the front door into the kitchen.

I seen Greg first, his head bowed as soon as he seen me and I scoffed.

"Pussy" I muttered brushing passed him up the stairs to Alana's room. Ignoring the fact that there was still pictures of me and Alana on the walls. Of course she was going to be confused, neither of them had even made a subcontious effort to take me out of her life.

"Alana please come out, Randy said he'd be here soon"

"NO! Your lying!" Alana cried and I quickly jogged along the hall hating the sound of her crying. I got a lump in my throat once more as I tried to hold it back for her.

"Move Sam, you've done enough" I hissed and she nodded walking down the stairs, "Lana" I called softly.

"Daddy?" My chocked up once more.

"Open the door sweety" The lock clicked and she opened a peep, her amazing eyes looking at me. She looked at either end of the hall before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the room and locking it once more.

I sat down against the wall and she came to me. I just held her and started to cry.

"Daddy why are you crying" she asked as she looked up at me tears in her eyes, "Is it cause yoru hurt by her lies?" She asked and I chuckled bitterly.

"I wish they where lies Lana I really do" She looked hurt, something I never wanted to be the cause of but I knew I had to do.

"What do you mean"

"When Daddy was married to Sam, you remember" She nodded her bright eyes swelling with tears, "Well she was loney because I was away so much, and Greg was a friend to her. Mommy ended up falling in love him him, like she used to love me. They done things adults do together, and -" I tried not to cry, she needed this so badly as did I.

"When the stalk came he was confused? I laughed still crying thinking of how me and Sam had told her that stalks brought babies just like in dumbo.

"Yeah" I stroked her insoaint face, she didn't deserve to be caught up in the middle of all of this. She never asked to be born, or to be lied to. She should never have been hurt, "And it took some of mommy's hair and Gregs hair instead of mine"

"Daddy you dont have any hair" I laughed harder, god knew I would miss her. I smiled down at her sweet face before contuning.

"Maybe thats why he was confused" she laughed, "and when you came back from baby land you where Gregs daughter not mine" I chocked out and she started to cry some more, "Mommy ovbiosuly thought because we where married you where mine, but she found out recently that you wern't" She hugged so so tightly.

"I don't want Greg to be my daddy" She cried and I held her so tightly.

"Come on Princess, Greg will be a great dad. He'll be around all the time too, you won't need to miss him" She shook her head.

"He doesn't love me like you do" She cried harder.

"You haven't given him a chance yet" I mumbled, "He didn't know you where his, none of us did"

"Can't I just come with you?" she pouted and I ran my hand through her hair.

"I wish it was that simple baby, I really do"

"Have you known since you left?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Why didn't you come visit then?" She looked so hurt.

"Mommy thought it would be easier on us because of the divorce" I wasn't going to lie to her, she had too much of that in her life.

"Mommy kept you away?" I nodded.

"Thats not fair" she cried harder, "Is she going to keep you away now"

"I think so" She started sobbing hysterically muttering over and over, "I dont want you to leave me"

"I'll never be too far" I tried to make her smile, "You can see me on T.V"

"You can't see me though" I titled my head and she got her own joke and burst out laughing. I couldn't help but laugh with her, she was just so cute.

"I'm telling John" She smiled.

"I miss John too" I nodded,

"Yeah I know sweety" I bit my lip, "But right now, Sams really scared you've hurt yourself. Did you touch any of the cleaning stuff?" I asked her and she shook ehr head.

"You said I wasn't aloud too, so I never have"

"Theres a good girl" I let a few more tears fall.

"Will you miss me daddy" she paused, "Can I still call you daddy"

"I think mommy wants you to call Greg daddy now" She looked hoffified and I was sickend that Sam had left this too me. Had dared even call me. I wanted to remember her happy and boucning and loving like she always was, not heart broken and hurt.

"Can I still call on weekends?" I nodded.

"I'd like that" I smiled still crying. She nodded.

"Moms made such a mess of everything" She cried and I nodded, "Confussing the stalk and everything" In her own childlike way she completely understood everything. "I really dont want you to go"

"I never wanted to go either Princess" This wasn't a lie. I never knew I loved John till Sam left me. If she would have kept it in her pants we'd be so happy right now.

"I hate her" She mutter I pulled her back, "hey thats not fair. Mom didn't want any of this to happen okay?"

"Why'd she have to go to Greg?"

"I'm not completely sure, you'll need to ask moms, but I think she was loney when I was gone and wanted a friend"

"I'm scared" she admitted. I sniffed and nodded.

"I get scared too"

"You never look it" I shrugged.

"Thats just pratice, I always feel it, when I meet new people, when I'm in the ring, and even now Im scared to hurt you" I admitted and she shook her head so voilently her hair fell out of its bunches.

"You can't hurt me, you love me"

"So does mom"

"She doesn't act like it anymore, she always spends time with Greg and Greg says I'm not aloud to watch wrestling anymore, and I'm always with Grandma Orton these days-" She stopped and I knew what had just hit her. She started bawling harder this time and I let her cling to me just soothing her with sweet nothings.

"I dont want a new dad or a new grand parents! I want things to go back to how they where" She cried.

"Change is part of life sweety and even though we don't want it sometimes, we need to ceal with it" She nodded taking in everything I said.

A knock came at the door and Sam called, "Come on darling, you have dance class in half an hour"

She never answered and I called out, "Give us a few more minutes Sam yeah?"

"Okay"

"I dont wanna go, you wont be here when I get back" she pouted.

"Greg will" she once again looked horrified.

"Does it really need to change?" I nodded.

"I'm afraid so, but you call anytime & I'll talk to Greg about letting you watch wrestling again okay?" She nodded, "Hes not really bad is he?" I asked and she shook her head wipping her eye.

"No your just better" I laughed.

"Promise you'll give him a chance? For me?" I asked and she nodded.

"Promise, now promise whenever I phone you'll answer or phone back when you can?"

"Promise" She hugged me tightly and I stood with her still in my arms. I unlocked the door walking downstairs. I walked into the kitchen and seen them both talking in hushed voices.

"Ready Alana?" Sam asked and she nodded, looking at me with her big pouted lip, begging me silently not to go.

"I love you Lana" she nodded.

"I love you too daddy" she cried when Sam took her from my arms. She walked out of the house to the car and I watched from the window.

"Takes a man to do what you done" Greg commented, "Takes a man to cry" I rouned on him

"Takes a coward to stop a 5 year old kid from watching wrestling because he feels threatend by a guy whos half way cross the country" I hissed, "Now your going to listen very fucking carefully" He nodded, "One she loves her wrestling, loves all of the guys John mostly just like any other kid, stop stopping her from watching it" he nodded, "Number two, you start treating her like your daughter, because I'll be damned if I walk out of her life leaving her with someone who she says pays no attention to her" he tried to explain himself, "Number three, whenever and for whatever reason you let her phone me, it's gonna take a lot for her just to forget me. If she wants me I'm always there for her, you tell Sam the same" again he nodded, "And number four - protect her. If anything bad ever happens to her and I mean so much as a paper cut under you watch I will fucking kill you" I shook my head, "You've got a fuck lot of time to make up for a hell of big boots to fill do you understand" He nodded, "Good"

I turned to leave, but he called me. I turned, "For what its worth, I don't think I'll ever replace you in her life. Either of them, I didn't get her the house she wanted or the cars, I never painted the rooms the perfect shade of pink for her little girl, only to change it to blue when Alana said she hated pink. I didn't looked after her and I don't think I'll ever get her like you do, and I know I can't live up to being the father you where" I tried to breathe.

"Sam isn't about the material stuff, I just gave her it anyway, She likes the little things like this" I picked it up, it was Russain dolls, "Shes terrified of them so I bought her them to get over her fear - only cost 2 euros. She likes to be thought of. And Alana desrves a full time dad, not someone whos on the road constatnly. Just look after her for me yeah?" He nodded as I turned once more only to walk straight into Sam.

"Alana wont leave without saying goodbye" she mumbled. I nodded walking out once more standing infront of the window of the car.

"I told Greg, he's gonna let you watch wrestling again" She beamed up at me and I smiled with her.

"We're gonna be late" Sam jumped into the car.

"Good bye daddy, I love you forever"

"I love you too Lana. Always"

I glanced at Sam and smiled sadly, "We could have had it all you know" She bit her lip nodding.

"I'm sorry" she muttered.

"No. I'm sorry. Truly" I knew she wasn't completely to blame.

"Goodbye Randy"

"Bye Sam" I pulled back and she pulled out of the drive way. I watcher her drive out of my life knowing the changes of me ever seeing either of them again her second to none. I took one last look at the house I used to call home one last glance at Greg who looked more at home than I ever did. Before starting the few block walk towards the hotel, leaving my whole life behind.

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><em><strong>I cried three times writing this, if you didn't your either heartless or im a shite writer?<strong>_  
><em><strong>Review and tell me which :P <strong>_


	13. Chapter 13

_**So I knew if Alana needed her dad, Randy would need his. I'm sorry for the lack of John atm but this is needed for their relationship :) xx**_  
><em><strong>Review :) xx<strong>_

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><p>My phone rang and I looked at caller ID. Dad.<p>

"Hey dad" I answered.

"Hey son" I snuffed, "How are you?"

"Been better" I sighed.

"Moms cooking your favourtie tonight, she knows your about a five hour drive away but if you-"

"Vince gave me today off, I fly out tomorrow afternoon"

"Oh well in that case come over son please? You shouldn't be on your own right now" And if I was completely honest it's what I needed.

"Sure dad"

"Bring your stuff, stay the night"

"Thanks" I smiled, "I'll phone a cab now"

"I'll come an collect you"

"Cabs on Vince" I smirked.

"On Vince eh? Didn't have that in my day" he muttered, "Well I'll see you soon" I hung up and reached for the hotel phone.

"Hello Mr. Orton what can I do for you?" The recieptionist asked.

"Can you phone me a cab please, and I'm going to check out, going to visit some family"

"Of course Mr. Orton"

I gathered my things and a knock came at the door. The bell boy took my stuff onto one of those lugage cart things and I walked with him, I checked out, got my passport back and gave the bell boy a fifty for putting my stuff in my cab. He looked pleased.

I smiled at my old home of when I was younger. before I could get up the driveway my mother was jogging down it towards me and my father.

I handed the driver a fifty also. "Thought it was on Vince?" My dad asked and I nodded.

"It is but I doubt Vince tips" he laughed lightly grabbing some of my stuff helping me inside.

"Bob take randys stuff up to the guest room" he smiled doing as he was told. She sat me down and put dinner out, handing me a beer and putting one out for dad.

"Any real reason you made my favourite" I called her out knowingly as I took the first bite and almost died.

"Ovbiously" she rolled her eyes, "Sam called" she hissed, "Told me how you where breaking your heart out with little Alana" I bowed my head.

"Don't you bow your head unless your praying son" My dad snapped and I chuckled, "Nothing to be ashamed of, you took care of both those girls, didn't deserve any of this"

"Alana didn't deserve any of this" I snapped.

"No, no she did not" My mother agreed, "How is she"

"Shes away to dance class" I took a drink of my beer, "Before hand she locked herself in her room and refused to come up until I came and got her" My dad shook his head.

"Poor girl" I nodded.

"Howar you son, really"

"Broken" I nodded, "I loved Alana more than anything"

"That bitch deserves to be killed, she will be if she ever comes back around here!"

"Mother!" I hissed, "My marriage was a two way thing, Sam didn't feel loved and if she didn't feel loved-"

"She should have never had married you or devorced you the second she knew she loved Greg" My dad chipped in.

"Loving a wrestler was never gonna be easy, I told her that" I groaned now regretting comeing over.

"I'm not sure I loved her proerply ma" My mum raised a brow and I continued, "I don't know, it just didn't hurt like it was supposed to being away from her, I loved her but I'm not sure if I was in love with her"

"Then why'd you asked to marry the girl" My dad asked.

"I thought I was but" I stopped shrugging not ready to admit that I had recently realised I was in love with the man they considered another son.

"But what?" I shrugged again looking at my food, "Randy stop playign with your food, it only means your hiding something now spill" I laughed at my mothers bluntness.

"I've started liking someone else recently, and it was never like this with Sam. Never so" I stopped trying to think of the right word, "Over powering? Consumming? I don't know how to explain it, but I do know it was never like this with Sam. I loved her yes, in love with her. Not like this"

"Another woman?" My dad asked, I decided to test the waters, picking up my beer I said, "Never know it could be a man" I drunk from my bottle watching their expressions.

"I don't care if its man or woman, as long as your going to finally be happy" My mother stated and I smield at her tilting my head.

"Agreed" My father chipped in.

"Oh yeah and what of all that talk of grandkids?" I was pushing it a little but I wanted to know if this fuckign guys thing became a serious fixture how they would take it.

"Fuck them!" my dad shrugged, " Means I can go fishing on the weekends instead, plus there is always Rebecca"

"Don't care who or what you sleep with as long as your happy" My mother smiled, "plus theres that new law for gay adoption" My dad nodded and I laughed.

"Youd be okay with me raising someone elses kid?" and they both nodded.

"Of course, rahter you someone who would love and support it and someone who couldn't" they both shrugged.

"If we've told you once we've told you again, we're proud of you and we just want you to be happy" I nodded smiling.

"So who is he?" My dad asked.

"I never said they where a he, I just stated it might not be a girl" I shrugged.

"Uhuh" My dad eyed me and it un-nevered me. I went back to my dinner.~

Conversation quickly changed, it was nice to spend some time with my family again. To spend time knowing they loved me, apperichating how even after all this time they still wanted to look after me.

"So wheres my other son these days? Useually never leaves you side does Cena" I smirked.

"He didn't lose his kid, so he never got time off work" I smirked and my mother shrugged.

"He's good to you is that John" my mother continued.

"Yeah I know" I frowned thinking of how I treated him this morning.

"What?" she asked knowinly.

"Its nothing we had a fight this morning"

"I stick by you two are secretly married" Sececrtly fucking dad correction.

"What happend?" my mother ignored him and I shook my head.

"I um got a bit out of it last night after Sam left" they eyed me knowing how bad I used to be on drugs, "John he came to the club and got me, got me back to hotel, took care of me basically. This morning he got me up, I was in such a bad moon I through it back in his face" I lied a little.

"Randy" My mother sighed, "You have such a tempter" I shrugged.

"I'm sure John will understand" my dad defended.

"He always does" I sighed, not really wanting to deal with the other problem I had.

A few minutes passed and my dad anounced, "The wrestlings on, wanna watch yourself?" I chuckled and nodded knowing I was going to get a step by step annalisis of my match and promo. I know my dad meant well and a distraction right now is what I need.

"Sure" I smiled and stood.

"I'ma go read my book, record it for me though" My dad nodded, "Randy you grab the beers from the fridge" My dad went to the living room and my mother smiled.

"I thought you'd already be stoned and drunk by the time you got here" she admitted, "I've never been more proud of you"

"Thanks" I hugged her tightly, "For everything, I realise how much you have done for me growing up more and more"

"I'm your mother I'm supposed too" I kissed her cheek, "Enjoy your match diecation by the way" I chuckled and Walked into the living room handing my dad a beer.

We spoke about everyone that came on the screen. I knew my dad was holding something back, but I knew he'd talk when he was ready. It was the final part of raw, when I went out to talk to Cena. I shifted in my seat slightly, I don't know if it was just me or if the tension was that visable on screen.

"He really cares for you, you know. Puts up with a lot of bull shit from you" I nodded.

"I know, he knows im greatful"

"I know its him Randy" I turned shocked, "Seen it often enough backstage in my time" He smirked, "I don't even think you two knew it most of the time, but ovbiously now you two do" I just sat shocked, "Dont let him go Randy. I dont know what the real problem between you two this morning was but I swear, it'll hurt you more than anything if you let him go. More than losing Sam to another man or losing Alana" I nodded.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow, or as soon as I can"

"Your mothers always known he loved you, said she could see it in how he looked at you. Thats why she invites him around every chance she gets" I rolled my eyes typical match making mom. I laughed.

"Your reall okay with it?" I asked and he nodded.

"More than okay really son we just want you happy, if John does that then so be it" I smiled and done something I rarely do. I hugged my dad. He held me close.

"I love you dad" he nodded,

"I know son I love you too" I smiled up at him before pulling back.

"How about some ball?" I nodded as he chanegd the channel to sprots centre.

"Is he done telling you how terrible you are?" My mom asked bringing in a tray with some more beers and chips.

"Yeah" I nodded.

"I did nothing of the sort" Bob shouted and we all chuckled.

"Good because I wanna see some ball" I shook my head greatful for the family I had.

My phone buzzed in my pocket,

From John

Just wanted to check you okay? J.

I smiled lightly as did my father as he seen the text.

I'm fine John. In my parents house, they had me around for dinner, mother where asking for you. Thanks for checking in.

I sent it smiling knowing it would have to do for now.

Not long after, the game & highlights where done. I went upstairs ready to check into bed, knowing I had an early flight tomorrow.

As I lay in the darkness I thought about the people I had around me who ovbiously truly cared.  
>My parents. Shawn and Hunter and ovbiously John.<br>I thought about how I had to start looking after these people if I wanted them to stick around.  
>My parents had each other, as did shawn and hunter and its about damn time I give John his.<p>

Soon I vowed. I would take care of John, like he always took care of me. 

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><p><em><strong>Review? xx <strong>_


	14. Chapter 14

_**6 in one day? I know ya'll love me :) 3 xx**_

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>The next day was torture. My plane was late, my mom didn't want to let me go and by the time I got to Miami, it was time for the house show. Meaning I didn't get a chance to just talk to John. The day seemed to drag in and as soon as John's match was over he left for the gym. I sighed.<p><p>

"Sup" Hunter asked as I leaned against the wall.

"Ever try to do something and the whole world seems to be against you?" he nodded.

"Yep, what you trying to do"

"Talk to John"

"Oh" Hunter shuffled, "He was a mess after he left you yesterday mate" I eyed him.

"And?" I asked.

"He just ranted to shawn for a good hour"

"Shawn?" I eyed him and then punshed his shoulder, "You two played us both" I accused and he smirked.

"Well we thought it would help" he added seriously, "Shawn thought if he spoke to John you know after that big storyline they had, and after the history we had we'd be able to see you both happy" I smirked.

"I just wanna see him right now you know" He nodded.

"This is the hard bit, once you two actually get together you can both just be happy. Trust me"

"Thanks hunt"

"What you two talking about?" I turned to see Stephanie and Rebecca smirking knowingly.

"Know how that piece of advice you gave me about not keeping anything from your wife?" I asked and he nodded knowing I was asking if they knew.

"He tells me everything Orton" she smirked easily taking Rebecca's hand.

"See this is what annoying me, If I was to walk down the halls holding Cena's hand the world would self conbust" I started, "But if two girls do it, suddenly its okay because their "Sisters" Whats that?"

"Bullshit" Stephanie smirked squeazing Rebecca's hand easily.

"Do your children know?" I asked.

"NO" all of them just about shouted.

"How are y'all gonna explain this when they get older?"

"Get to that when it comes I guess" they shrugged, "anyway we have palns for tonight, Shawns out by the car" Hunter nodded as he walked beside Stephanie. It was strange she still looked at him with goo-goo eyes.

Seeing how happy they really where I knew I needed to talk to John. It would be so easy if we could just get passed out issues. I pulled my phone out, quickly texting him.

Can I see you? Please.

I waited a few seconds before my phoned beeped.

Haven't you heard? No one can see me ;)

I laughed, shaking my head before another text came in,

Of course you can, you never had to ask. When?

I sighed happily, replying, whenever you come back from the gym.

Give me another hour? and of course I would if thats all that stood between me and him, of course I would.

Sure let me know when your back.

Later :)

I pocketed my phone, and truged to my locker room to collect my things, to head back to the hotel.

Just as I was ready to head up to John's hotel room my phone rang. It was Sam's house phone. Instantly I answered.

"Randy, I'm sorry to bother you, but"

"Whats Lana done now?" I asked sinking into my bed.

"She doesn't believe Greg when he says theres no monsters under the bed. He says shes not checking right. He doesnt know how"

"Of course he doesn't he's missed out on 5 years of her life thanks to your selfishness" I snapped. I was still hurting and the more she pointed out how good a father I was, it hurt me more that I wasn't.

"Randy thats unfair"

"No whats unfair is you dropping the bombshell on everyone and expecting everyone to be okay with it because you've had five years to come to terms with what youve done"

"Mommy let me speak to him" I heard her voice plead.

"Do it" I ordered.

"Its not fair to confuse her"

"Nothing in this situation is fair now she has school in the morning put her on the phone and get her tucked in afterwards" I hissed.

"Hey Lana" I chuckled once the phone was passed.

"Hey" she sounded so sleepy. I chocked up a little again.

"Are you being bad?"

"Maybe" she giggled, and I couldn't help but laugh with her, "But you wont shout at me anymore for it" she laughed again and I rolled my eyes.

"You need to sleep Lana, schools important"

"I know" she giggled again,

"And you don't believe in monsters anymore A, your favourite movie is a nightmare before christmas honey"

"I know, I just wanted a reason for mom to call you" I sighed.

"Lana" I chuckled, "you could have just phoned me to say goodnight if you wanted"

"Okay well since theres no monsters" She said too loudly so her mom could here her.

"Good night Alana"

"Night" She gave the phone back to her mother.

"I wont call again Randy she just needs to get used to this situation is all. I'm just trying to do whats best for her I know its hurting you though. I'm sorry" I shook my head.

"If she wants to call, let her call. This has to be as easy on her as it can be"

"I really am sorry Randy" I tried to hold back tears.

"I know Sam, but I gotta go. Im kinda busy"

"Okay bye" she hung up and I sighed pocketing my phone as I walked towards John's room.

I knocked once, still trying to pull myself together.

"Hey I thought you wern't gonna come" he admitted and I felt bad for taking so long, "Hey whats wrong" he asked. He reached out touching my face now only noticing it was wet.

"Sorry erm. Sam called, Alana wouldn't believe Greg that there was no monsters under the bed, said he wasn't checking properly"

"Her favourite thing in the world is Nightmare before Christmas" he muttered letting me in confussed.

"She admitted she just wanted to call me" I laughed letting stray tears fall. Once the door was closed he pulled me in letting me rest my head into his neck. Finally after days of wanting to break down, I had want I needed. John.

I let my emotions take over as I cried lightly letting him hold me as I cried.

"This is all I wanted" John mumbled, "To make you okay" He ran his hand over the back of my neck and head.

"I know" I admitted, "I had to do what I done though" we both nodded.

"Your here now thats all that matters" he sat us down.

After a few minutes I realized this wasn't why I came her.

I sat up and breathed. "That wasn't why I came here you know" He tilted his head in the cutest way exposing the skin that I always wanted to bite, "I love you" John took a deep breath before smiling.

"I love you too"

"Why does this sound like theres a but" He chuckled.

"I really don't wanna complicate things for you right now. I know what you need Randy, more than you do" He ran a hand down my face, "I'll wait however long it takes, but right now your hurt and I can't take advantage of that"

"You could" I smirked and he shook his head, knowing what I meant.

"As much as I would love for you to fuck me sensless" My groaned lightly, "Really think about it"

"I need you right now John"

"And you have me, as the friend you need. I can't be that selfish. You've got a lot of stuff to work through, and i'm gonna be there every step of the way and then when its right" he nodded, "Then we'll talk about us"

I knew he was right and I smiled, "I'm not going to make this easy on you, you know that right?" He sighed and nodded.

"I didn't expect you to" He muttered as I leaned forward kissing him.

It was just soft. No lust, just love. I pulled back happy.

"I don't deserve you John"

"You deserve so much more" he pleaded and I shook my head no.

"I don't know what more there is"

"I don't plan on informing you" he smirked and I pulled him onto the bed. We tangled our legs, and lay staring at each other for the longest time. It was easy, and I knew if I rolled us over I could have him. But after what he said I knew he was right, as always. I had to get over the loss of my daughter before I could move onto something as new and as big as this.

But he wasn't gone, he was still here and I had what I needed, and I think somehow thats all he needed too.

For now.

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><em><strong>This is all I have typed up. Due to my father's death I'm not sure when I will continue writing. Hopefully soon though as I do love this story and have so many ideas for it. Though for now just review? and excuse any mistakestypo's etc? **_  
><em><strong>Much love :) xx <strong>_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hello again! :)**_  
><em><strong>I know its been forever! &amp; I am sorry.<strong>_  
><em><strong>I just havent't had the time or the want to write after everything lately.<strong>_  
><em><strong>I finally got the motivation (&amp; found my pen drive) to write again.<strong>_  
><em><strong>I have some jitters about writing &amp; this isn't nearly as good as I wanted it to be, but after being away for so long I found it hard to get back into writting again.<strong>_  
><em><strong>I love you's &amp; I hope it was worth the wait.<strong>_

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><p>I said I wouldn't make it easy on him and I had not. I had taken every chance to try get something, anything from him but he wouldn't budge. I had hardly gotten a kiss from him, but John was there. Never left my side, never let me down if I needed something, even if it was just someone to grab me a cup of Joe because I was running late. John was there.<p>

Not that I mean to sound ungrateful, but after two months of nothing. I was starting to get desperate. Even just a kiss right now would be amazing.

I say I had not had anything but that would be a slight lie.

_"Randy we spoke about this last night" he muttered between kisses, and I smirked._

"And I told you I wasn't making it easy on you" He rolled his eyes, kissing me lightly. I pushed my groin against his and he moaned. A small knock came his locker room door and I hissed. He untangled from me and the tech guy announced it was our match.

I smirked at the thought, frowning also knowing given another twenty minutes I could have had my way with him.

_"John?" I called and he looked up at me, his eyes trailing down over my half naked body._

"Um" he gulped, "Yeah?"

"Know how you sad if I needed anything I could come to you?" He nodded. I glanced down at my obvious errection. He smirked leaning behind the bed picking something up and tossing it to me.

"The porn channels are usually good around now, I'll get out of your hair, charge it to the room" He smirked standing, as I caught the remote "you know I like to help" he gave me a light peck on the lips, "Tissues are in my bag"

I pouted thinking of how many times he had denied me in the last few months. Even when I had tried the painfully obvious.

_I opened the door apon hearing what I wanted to, John sighing my name. I locked the small locker room door behind me. He looked like a deer caught in headlights with his dick pumping in one hand and another playing with his balls. I licked my lips, but before I could do anything he had everything hidden from reach and muttering about dinner._

That last thought lingered in my head and I slid a little further down the bed. I knew in my heart John was doing what he thought best, I knew I shouldn't be annoyed with him, but I wanted him and badly. With each passing day, the loss of Alana was hurting less and less and although I would always love her, I was moving on, onto the new part of my life that I wanted John Cena to play every part in.

I sighed as I put the hotel t.v on, it was commercials not that I minded I just wanted background noise. I put a hand behind myself as I lay watching the people move on and off the screen. An advert for redvines came on and then Glee, and then washing powder. My eyes where beginning to droop when the undeniable sound of the word "Randy" came. I sat up looking at the source, realizing John wasn't back yet but on the screen. I smirked. Intrigued.

He bent over the top rope and I sighed, wanting nothing more to have him then and their. I shifted trying to relieve the pressure growing in my pants. Even this watching a PG show was getting to me. Then by god John got to me.

"Randy, Randy, Randy" John smirked on screen knowing what he was doing to me as he said my name over and over. I groaned, having to unzip my jeans pulling them down. I let my head fall back onto the pillows, moaning and my own fingers danced over my dick through the thin material. I could hear me talking, but I was ignoring myself, hearing and seeing only John.

"Well the whole world knows your not a very nice boy Orton, nice boys don't beat people till they're on their backs unconscious" I groaned, pulling myself through the slit in roughly and quickly giving myself the release I wanted so badly.

"You thought I wouldn't come back after my title? After what's mine Randy?" My heart thumped at his words and I knew I wouldn't last long, I was already starting to shake slightly as I rubbed my thumb over the top twisting ever so slightly.

"You want some Randy? Come get some" I opened my eyes long enough to see him whip of his t-shirt and motioned for me to come to him.

That's when it got to much. I arched slightly and moaned his name as thread after thread of come flew out of me. I slumped back, breathing heavily.

"Fuck Randy" My eyes popped once more as I realized that wasn't John on the T.V.

My head spun till I found him standing in the door way, his gym bag on the floor his tshirt slung over one shoulder, jogging bottoms riding low, low enough for me too see his dick poking out the top of his boxers slightly.

"How?" I breathed, "How long have you been there?"

"Since you pulled our jeans down" He smirked breathing just as deep, I felt a deep blush pass over my face.

"Never thought to help me out no?"

"Didn't look like you needed anymore help, listening to me seemed to do the trick" I groaned.

"Well sometimes you got to do what you got to do" I shrugged, a slight bitter tone to my voice.

"Meaning?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Meaning waiting for you to do something or give in is damn near impossible"

"Randy" he sighed, dropping his stuff, walking over to my bed.

"I know, your good guy 'super cena' you do the right thing, I know. I just want you!" I moaned as he appeared above me, concerned look on his face.

"I just wanna make sure your ready" He sat beside me running a hand over my face. It was always this way with him, gentle, soft and meaningful touches but nothing more.

"I am - no John really! I am, it doesn't hurt so much. I don't think of Lana as much anymore. I wanna move on" I sighed, "Your not letting me"

He looked shocked, I knew that was harsh, but I wanted him and god knew I was sick of waiting and if a few home truths where needed to get there, then so be it.

"I'm trying to help you" he repeated for what felt the thousandth time.

"I know, but all your doing is stopping me, stopping us. Holding us back from what we want" Something dawned on me and I felt very stupid for not noticing it sooner, "Your not ready are you?"

"Yes I am" He said the words but they where filled with fear.

"John please don't lie to me, you never have" He bit his lip and took a deep breath.

"It's not that I don't want it, I'm just scared"

"Of?" I asked.

"People finding out, losing our carers, losing our families. Losing each other" He rhymed off.

"Shawn and Hunter know, they kind of do the same thing and they work it all out, my dad knows we love each other, so does my mother by now, and do you really think after everything, I'd let you walk away again?"

"YOUR MOTHER KNOWS?"

"Not in detail?" I offered smirking at his freak out.

"What do you mean not in detail?" He roared.

"Well when I was home I kind of hinted that I liked someone else and I joked saying it might not be a woman, just testing the waters. My dad then told me he knew it was you, said he didn't care and my mother didn't either because she had always known in the 'way you looked at me' dad says its why she invites you over so much" I smirked as his face fell.

"But does she know, you know?" he glanced down at my now soften cock and then back at the screen.

"I doubt it"

"How did they know?" he cried,

"Dad said he'd seen it often enough in the past, you know when he was a wrestler, moms just knew apparently"

"And they are completely fine with me loving you?" My heart melted slightly, I nodded, "But?"

"No buts John. We're not the first wrestlers to fall for each other and we won't be the last" I shrugged, "But if your not ready to, I'll stop sexually harassing you"

"Please don't" he muttered and I smirked, noticing how painfully hard he still was. I propped myself up on my elbows,

"Well you'll need to give in soon or I may lose interest" he laughed.

"Really?" he asked and I nodded as we both leaned forward, kissing lightly. It was typical John slow and sweet. I could tell something was still wrong, and I was trying to make it right.

"Can I ask something?" John muttered and I nodded cursing his timing.

"Do you want me as much as I want you?"

"Of course I do" I replied honestly and confused as soon as I did I knew it wasn't what he meant he bit his lip and tried again.

"Do you want me to have you was much as I want you to have me?" This time the penny dropped,

"Baby if you wanted me to bottom, you didn't have to hold out for two months" I chuckled kissing him slowly once more and he smirked.

"That's not what I did and you damn well know it" we both chuckled. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders pulling him on top of me. Automatically things went from calm and sweet too heated and needy.

Everything felt new again, every time he touched me every dent in his body, every line, every kiss, and every swipe of the tongue, everything felt new. I started to grow again and I smiled against the part of his neck I was latched too.

"Only you can get me like this you know" I whispered and he smiled.

"Like what?"

"Needy, desperate, waiting - no longing, pinning, like a puppy"

"Like a lost puppy waiting for its master" he growled and I closed my eyes and moaned, just that sentence alone had me hornier than I had been in so long.

"Exactly" I breathed, as he started kissing his way down my torso. He licked every pane in my stomach slowly, biting exactly the right places, "John please?" I begged I needed him to touch me.

He eyed me and I knew he wanted me to tell him exactly what I needed, "Suck me off please?" He licked the line from my hip the inside of my groin and I almost screamed, he started to nibble around the sensitive skin but never touching me. I was already panting.

"John!" I gasped,

"Yes puppy?" Once again the penny dropped and the words flew from my mouth before I could even register what I was saying, not that I cared.

"Please Master" He smirked the sexiest, evil smirk that had ever crossed his face. It made me want to skull fuck his pretty mouth into oblivion.

"Good puppy" I sighed as he bit my head, then slowly took me in.

"God John!" I had been too long without contact from that perfect mouth. He pulled back once more crawling up my body, and whispered into my ear.

"We're gonna play a game puppy" I shivered nodding, "your going to obey your masters every command" I nodded again, happy to play along knowing I would never deny him anything he wanted, "you will only call me master" I nodded, " you wouldn't do anything without permission" I nodded, "understood?"

I looked into his eyes and seen the lust, love and excitement dancing, smiling I whispered back, "yes mater"

"Remember, bad puppy will be punished" I smiled.

He smirked sliding back down, pulling me into his mouth fully and I arched off the bed.

He groaned around me, placing both hands on my hips, holding me where he wanted me and not where I wanted to be.

After months of nothing & are wanking off moments before, I was seriously sensitive and seriously close, already, my legs started to shake once more.

"I don't think so!" He chuckled and I groaned in frustration, "No back chat puppy" he warned and I bit my lip, trying to mentally work out if I wanted to be punished my John or not.

"Turn over" He commanded and my dick twitched at the authority in his voice. I liked this side of John. The side than wanted me, and knew exactly how he did.

I flipped over and raised myself slightly. I received a sharp slap on the ass for that. I hissed lightly but again said nothing.

"I never told you to rise!" He chuckled. The weight behind the bed shifted, & before I could even turn his voice once again commanded "Don't you dare" I bit my lip in frustration but was so desperate to give John what he wanted. I did as I was told.

I heard him unzip his bag & it took all of my will power to keep from turning around.  
>The weight on the bed shifted once more, and he pulled me up onto my knees, pushing them apart.<p>

I felt his hand slip up my crack and I tried not to tense and hold back the shiver running up my spin. He pulled my cheeks apart and I felt something soft and wet touch my entrance, it took me a second to realise what was going on. John Cena was rimming me.

His tongue pushed lightly, and I so desperately wanted to push back for more, he was teasing me and I knew it. He pushed completely passed my ring and suddenly started swirling inside me.

"Fuck John" I muttered, squeezing my eyes shut, enjoying the feelings running through me. Suddenly they stopped, quickly followed by a sharp bite on my already stinging ass cheek.

& again it dawned on me, "Sorry Master" Usually I won't have dared do anything like this if I wasn't in the driving seat, but I wanted that feeling back so badly, I would have done anything.

I heard a pop and I knew exactly why John had left before. He'd gone for lube. I smirked knowing that he must have known sooner rather than later he was going to give in, if he was carrying lube with him.

I felt his finger brush my entrance with the cool liquid. I forced myself to relax as he pushed it inside me. It burned and I knew it would only last a few minutes so I put up with it.

He added another, and I was panting.

"Randy?"

"Yes master?"

"Do you want a distraction?" I nodded and he pushed against that small bump inside me, My back and legs twitched. Once John knew he had found it, he started to drive his fingers into me, working the lube and sending me insane all in one go. My release was near and I knew it.

Once again he suddenly stopped and I bit back a groan, "Patience Randal" he smirked, I couldn't see him, but I could hear him.

The weight shifted once more and I smiled knowing what was coming next.

"Do you have any idea how good you look like this?" The act was dropped, his hand trailed my spine and I sighed contently.

He lined himself up with me and pushed in at the most infuriating rate.

"John please?" I begged.

"I don't wanna hurt you" he admitted, as he finally filled me.

My fists where balled into the sheet under me, my forehead resting on the pillow, my eyes screwed shut, every muscle I had was tensed.

"John, just" I took a deep breath, he obviously didn't understand how badly he needed to move inside me, how I needed him to work me towards the release I'd been denied twice now, "Please, don't hold back"

He put one hand above my head onto the head board and another onto my hip, and he eased out and snapped forward.

"Fuck, yes!" I moaned, practically begging him to do it again.

He moved his other hand to my hip and started a frantic pace. I knew my hips where going to be bruised. I knew I probably wouldn't walk tomorrow.

I still begged for more.

His thrusts where started to become more unsteady, and deeper into me. His hand had made its way down my stomach and around my cock, as we both charged towards our climax.

"Randy" John panted and I knew exactly what that meant, that sound I craved more than anything. I started pushing back on him and further into his hand, my legs started to twitch & I wasn't sure who's moans where who's.

My stomach boiled and within a second I knew it was all over, with a scream I came all over the Johns hands and the sheets.

"Fuck, god John!" My insides trembled, causing John to thrust inside me so hard, we both collapsed onto the bed.

For a few minutes we just lay panting, sweating messes. I felt alive.  
>John pulled out slowly, before kissing the nape of my neck sweetly, rolling onto his side.<br>I turned towards him, a stupid grin all over my face.

"You always get what you want don't you" he chuckled and I nodded.

"Usually" I smirked, "It's something you'll have to get used to" he laughed lightly again.

"I'm scared Randy" I nodded, knowing what he was talking about.

"I'll protect you" I swore.

"Promise?"

"Promise, if anyone finds us out. I'll just tell them I raped you – again"

We chuckled, and it was easy, easier than it ever had been with anyone else.

"I'm still trying to get used to the idea" He admitted.

"No one has to know, but us"

"I know, but-"

"John, if your not ready fine, nothings official, just relax" He nodded, smiling.

"Thanks Randy" I shrugged,

"Remember though, I always get what I want"

He laughed pushing me away, before standing.

"I'm going for a shower, you should probably do the same" he shook his head, walking into the bathroom.

I smiled sweetly, knowing that everything was back on track.

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><p><em><strong>So review? Let me know how I done<strong>_  
><em><strong>&amp; If you waited on me coming back, thank you :) <strong>_  
><em><strong>kirsty xx<strong>_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Short, not so sweet.**_  
><em><strong>Don't kill me, I could write sex scenes all day, but without a storyline, what would it mean?<strong>_  
><em><strong>You guys would need new panties all the time ;) <strong>_  
><em><strong>Wrote this in my lunch hour in college, forgive any mistakes.<strong>_

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><p>I woke for not the first time this week to an empty bed, actually it was becoming a habit that I didn't like. I sat up searching for the some kind of sound &amp; came up with nothing, just silence.<p>

"John?"

Nothing.

For the last week this is how it had been & I had no idea what I'd done to deserve the cold shoulder. I'd barely seen john, last few nights we hadn't even shared a bed. I was starting to get pissed to be honest. It seemed every time something happened, instead of moving forward, we moved 1000 steps backwards.

I sighed sitting up rubbing my eyes, I had no idea what to do or how to go about doing it.  
>I noticed my phone flashing from the night stand. I knew it would be the same excuse as it had been all week.<p>

I was right.

_Sorry Randy, Gym called._

So have I all week, don't see me getting so much attention.

I know John. Yes, he obviously works out. Yes, it's a huge part of his life. Yes, it's mania in a few months.  
>No, that's not the problem.<p>

**The problem is, john never works out more than 5 times in one week – he's worked out every day this week.  
>John never works out twice in one day – every day this week.<br>John never ignores me for more than a week – unless nessasary he has.  
>Expect that time, I bent him over a table and forced myself upon him – reasonable explaintion given.<br>Even then, there was an excuse.  
>Which has to mean there is one now.<br>**  
>I sighed heavily.<p>

"You keep thinking so hard, you'll injure yourself!" I jumped five foot in the air.

And that son of a bitch laughed.

"Fuck you asshole!" I snapped.

"Awh Randy hasn't had coffee yet" He sang back sarcastically.

"I dislike you intently right now" I muttered.

"I'll cancel that black coffee with two sweeteners on its way up then shall I?"

"I dare you to" Again he laughed.

A small knock came at the door & he got it bringing in the coffees for us both.

"Thank you" I muttered and he rolled his eyes.

"Get a move on fatass we have a plane to catch!"

"I hate you!" I called after him as he disappeared into the shower room.

I never heard his response, but as every day this week. I got up, dressed and left for the airport.

I slung my stuff onto my bed and flopped. Raw had been okay, but I was to distracted to stay any length of time after it. I ignored the guys offers to go out and drink & I have returned to my hotel room to suffer in silence.

I heard the door open & I don't know if I was relieved or annoyed. John returning was what I wanted but the uncomfortable silence till open of us fell asleep wasn't.

"Hey" He muttered, quickly changing.

"Hey"

Silence.

He flopped onto his own bed, and I could hear the conversation the people upstairs where having.

"So" I jumped after the few minutes of silence.

"So" I repeated.

"You've been kinda off today" I froze, both in anger & frustration.  
>For a second before blowing the fuck up.<p>

"EXCUSE ME?" I turned to face his shocked face, "I've been off! Me?"

"um" he paused, "Yes? The fact your freaking out proves that"

"Go to hell John!" I shook my head flopping back to my pillow.

"Have I done something?" He asked.

"No" that's exactly the point.

"So" He paused.

"So" I once again repeated.

Another hour of silence. Long cruel & extremely infuriating.

"Your dad called last week" I turned once more, suddenly curious, "apparently I leaned on my phone answering it, half way through us, you know?" I froze dead.

"Come again?"

"Your dad um, heard us" He nodded.

I tried to take in the information.

"I don't compute" I shook my head sitting up now.

"He called back"

I gave a nervous laugh, "No?"

"Yes, the next day, desided to inform me that I should be more careful where I leave my phone to be answered during sex" My head crumbled into my hands.

"Your pulling my leg right?"

"Nope. Said he's glad we finally worked things out, apparently your mum is pleased for us to"

"oh for fucks sake!" I looked him straight in the eye and we both burst out laughing, scarily hysterically.

"This isn't funny!" He demanded.

"I know!" I calmed down, "So is this why you've avoided me all week"

"Yeah" He bit his lip, my eyes became attracted to it & I couldn't look away, "It worrys me how easily we can get found out"

I stood up and sat beside him, "I'm sorry"

"No, like what if people already know?"

"My mum & dad know, that's it!"

"No Randy I mean we aren't exactly quiet when we go at it, what if I don't know Cody knows!"

"I know enough about Runnels to keep him quiet" I laughed.

"You're missing the point!" He shouted.

"No, I'm not" I tried to take his hand but he pulled it away from me.

"Randy, how many gay men work in wrestling?" he asked quietly.

"Um?"

"Openly, without lying about it, how many"

"None in our company"

"Exactly!"

"John, where are you going with this?"

But I already knew.

"I can't risk losing my job over this. My whole world revolves around wrestling"

"Who said anything about losing your job?"

"Randy who are you kidding, ALL the younger guys want our jobs, our places, our spots on the roster! If ANY of them knew, that they could get rid of not one of the guys, but TWO? Who would pass it up?"

I didn't have an answer.

"Lets not lie, 10 years ago, we wouldn't have passed it up!"

"No, I wouldn't" I bit my lip.

"I don't think I can do this, not now" He shook his head, "I've – We've worked to hard to get here to give it up"

"What're you saying?" I croaked.

"Not now"

And that was all he said, until he grabbed his stuff and left the room.

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><p><em><strong>Reviews are loved :) xx<strong>_


	17. Chapter 17

**_HELLO!_****  
><strong>**_Yes I know how long it has been._**** If anyone still follows this story I will be amazed, I had a lot going on in the last like year? and I lost all ability to write anything or even be inspired and then suddenly tonight BOOM! So here is one and I hope you guys still care enough to come read and review?**

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><p>Life gets fucked sometimes. The saying is true. No one knows what they've got until it's gone.<br>& I literally now had lost everything.  
>My wife, My daughter &amp; now the only person who ever really knew me.<br>Gone.

Its fucked and strage, but in a weird way kind of peaceful to know no one was depending one me.

At least that's what I told myself.

What was really strange was everything was normal. Nobody noticed, we just existed now. Not together, not apart just existed.

Just there.

Then there.

& now here.

John's home town.

I groaned to myself as I pushed open the locker room door.

"Something getting you down Champ?" I looked over to see Cody,

"Nah nothing much son" I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Vince asked me to tell you that you've to go over your match with Cena and let him know what's going down" I sighed and nodded,

"Thanks Codes"

"No problem" He finished lacing his boots before heading out.

I put down my stuff and started to change, knowing I had a spot at the start of the show and had to be ready. I pulled off my t-shirt then my jeans.

"Do you really need to stand in front of the door doing that?" I turned to see Cena holding the door wide open.

"Yes?" I shrugged as he let the door fall shut.

"Slut" I closed my eyes letting the comment pass over my head, not willing myself to give a reaction.

I sighed lightly knowing today was gonna be just another day. Once I was in gear I turned to John who was just finishing tying his trainers.

"So, we doing tonight?" His head shot up quicker than I had seen in weeks, his eyes wide with fear and I knew what he thought I was implying "You know our match" he visibly relaxed anyone could see it and I had to think of the irony of the fact we finished because he was scared of us getting caught and here he was acting like this.

"Oh" he took a deep breath, a sad look passing over his face, "Well you've to cheat to win and Vince wants ted & Cody involved so I was thinking they could come out cause a distraction or something and you win because of it"

"Yay me" I stated bluntly and he snorted.

"I guess I'll go tell Vince and everybody else?" He nodded and I swiftly left ignoring the pity looks from the other side of the locker room from hunter.

I smirked to the boo's my arm hanging over Cody and Ted bending over panting, my free arm holding my title over my head. Looking towards the ring I seen John lying down, a swift chair to the head knocking him out apparently, his chest raising and falling rapidly, so much so it made my groin tighten.

We walked behind the curtain, my arms falling to my sides and I shook my head. I had to get laid.

"Hey Randal" My head turned to the side and i smiled to her, John's mother.

"Miss C, how are you" she smiled at me and then over my shoulder & I already knew John was back.

"Baby boy" she muttered before hugging into him, only half the size of him, arms around his waist like a child, the sight comical.

"I hope you've been looking after him Randal" I chuckled,

"Don't I always?" Flashing my ever charming smile.

"Well of course you do, wouldn't trust my baby with anyone else" John looked me dead in the eye and I felt the all knowing pain creep into my chest, finding it hard to breathe.

"I don't know about that" John laughed shakily.

"Nonsense John, Randal's always been nice to you – great in fact – I hope you've returned the favour with everything he's been going though!" She scolded.

"Of course he has" I covered for the guilty look on his face, "Whenever I need someone – Johns there" She smiled at her son,

"Now you boys go get changed you must be freezing" We smiled at her before departing.

"Thanks for that" John said softly and I nodded as we rounded the corridor.

"It's nothing-" He grabbed my arm pulling me to a stop.

"No really" He looked me dead in the eye, "You didn't have to even be nice to her and you where, for my sake" he took a deep breath, "God knows with these last few months I don't deserve it, so really – Thank you" I could hardly breath looking at him, so I just nodded turning to walk away.

"Randy" I bearly heard it, but I did, half turning I looked at him. Standing in nothing but his jorts, covered in sweat he looked amazing, but what really stunned me about him was the look on his face, he looked utterly broken – ready to cry – and I've never seen him look more beautiful.

"I didn't want this" he whispered.

"I know" I shrugged, I tried to turn again, but he stopped me.  
>"No really" he pulled me in and I started to shake slightly, "I hate this I..."<p>

"It has to be this way John I get it" I took a shallow breath, "Please don't make it harder than it has to be, you made your choice" I pulled back for the final time, pushing open the locker room finally coming face to face with the pitting look in Hunters face one more.

I really need to get laid.

I almost felt sorry for her, pounding into her, taking all my hurt and frustrations out on her. The more I looked over her the more I got angry! Where are the finally cut pecks I was used to? Where was the hard sculpted abs? That breathy moan? His adams apple?

I groaned once more and redoubled my efforts – she was screaming, anyone within twenty miles would have heard her, if not her then the bed hitting off the wall. She was by far the best pickings of the ring rats in the bar that night, she was simply stunning and yet here I am asking why she isn't him?

I felt that coil in my stomach and I pushed a little deeper, surprised her legs would stretch that far.  
>With the smallest of groans I emptied into the condom, pulling out of her.<p>

"Wow" was all she muttered. I stood pulling off the condom tying it and throwing it into the bin.

"I guess this is the part where I leave?" she smiled at me and I nodded not even going to pretend, "You know, whoever you where trying to forget, if it takes that much effort while fucking someone as hot as me, then you should probably try to work it out with them" she smiled.

She knew the whole time I was thinking of someone else, yet she wasn't even pissed?

"Why aren't you pissed?"

"I wanted to fuck you, I got to do that" she shrugged laughing lightly. I chuckled to myself.

"Am I that obvious?"

"You kept screwing your eyes up, only time guys do that is when they don't see what they want to"

"I'm sorry" I tried and she shook her head.

"Don't be" She finished getting her things together and stood, "Call her though, nobody should be missing out on a fucking like that"

She opened the door and closed it behind her and I groaned flopping back onto the bed, disgusted and annoyed knowing that regardless of the exercise I just had I wasn't tired and I certainly wasn't getting to sleep tonight.

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><p><em><strong>If you are still reading this - review so I know to continue or not? I already have another Chapter wrote up and i want to continue.<strong>_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Literally typing & posting right now guys, if reading love - so much love for continuing to follow this!**_

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><p>Ring Ring... Ring Ring... Ring Ri-<p>

"What?" I groaned.

"Good Afternoon to you too Mr. Orton" Hunters sarcatic voice rang down the phone.

"Yes fantastic - now what do you want?"

"I'm worried about you" It was simple, and honest. I pulled myself up to sitting position sighing, "But I'm more worried about John" I took an intake just at the mention of his voice.

"Why?"

"Go to your Window" I stood confused pulling back the curtains of my hotel window. Sure enough sitting facing the water was John, just throwing some rocks and existing, "Its 1pm why isn't he in the gym?"

"Maybe it's his day off?"

"John hasn't had a day off in the gym in months" I knew what his point was.

"He's not twenty anymore, he'd need one"

"Randy" he groaned, "This isn't healthy - for either of you"

"H" I tried not to choke "It was his choice. He isn't ready"

"So he's scared! So where you when I first fucked you! Now everyone thinks knows your Bi - well everyone relevant!"

"Yeah but you helped-"

"Yeah maybe I did, now it's your turn - go help him" I sighed.

"I can't take that again H - He said not now - I have to respect that!"

"Since when did you respect anything anyone said - please just trust me!" I sighed once more admitting defeat fine.

I took a few moments to get ready and then headed out the door. I found myself down the the waterside where John was just staring ovbiously in deep thought.

"Hey" I called, he turned and smiled though said nothing. I sat down beside him, "Sup?"

"I..." he took a deep breath, "I hurt. A lot" He turned to me and he still looked just as broken, just as sad, "It never eases, never gives up. It just hurts constantly & I need it to stop"

"It doesn't - no matter what you do" I shrugged.

"I know" He almost whispered, "Why are you always so nice?" he asked.

"Me? Nice?" I scoffed.

"Yes, nice. With my mum, with me - after all this you are so damn nice to me. Its horrible"

I laughed, "How can it possibly be horrible?"

"You should be angry, or sad, but here you sit asking me whats wrong" He rubbed his hands over his face.

"I am hurt and sad, hell I'm even angry sometimes - but I can't be mad at you, you aren't ready. I just need to acept that"

"For now?" He asked. He looked scared, like he believed I'd given up.

"For now it will have to do"

"Why are you waiting?"

"I've always been waiting, I was always waiting on something - took me a while but I eventually realised it was you. I love you John, always have and most likely always will"

"What if someone else shows intrest"

"I'll decline respectfully"

"What if they are good for you"

"Your good for me" He smiled, "Your also paranoid"

"I seen her last night" The smile vanished, his head bowed.

"It's been tough lately, I needed to get laid"

"She was beautiful" He sounded so broken.

"Would you rather I picked the ugly ones?" I joked, not fully seeing his point.

"Yes!" He snapped, "I sat all last night playing both your lives out in my head - together. The wedding, having children, taking her home to the family, growing old, the ring, the honeymoon. Everything" He looked me dead in the eye, "You where happy, had that smile on I love..." he sighed, "You never look happy anymore"

"I never am happy anymore" it was a simple honest statement, but he sounded shocked at it, "What do I have to be happy for John, I've lost everything"

"No!"

"Yes I have, now if you come back I will be very lucky, but right now I have lost everything and have nothing to be happy for"

"I'm sorry"

"I know but it doesn't change anything John. We're still wrestlers, and that means in your book we can't be together"

"I never thought it would hurt like this"

"Well it does" I stated bitterly. "And I wish you wouldn't make me feel guilty about trying to ease my way to the end of my career! I shouldn't have to worry about what you think of who I'm sleeping with" I snapped,

"No. You shouldn't - but I still get scared"

"I'm waiting for you what do you have to be scared of?" I was whispering harshly.

"That you'll get sick of waiting?" He shrugged, "That someone who won't be scared to show their true colours, someone who won't potentially ruin your career, will show up and won't ask you to wait, and you'll be happy with them living the life you deserve"

"I'm not that lucky" I scoffed.

He looked outraged, "So you'd walk away given the chance?" I shook my head no.

"No, because there is no one who can stand next to the great John Cena and even compair in my eyes. Even if the chance was there I wouldn't recognise it. Because theires always you"

"You'll get bored of waiting"

"I'm not waiting for the amusement of it - it's not about being bored!"

"I didn't mean that" he shook his head.

"Then please tell me what you do mean because I am trying to work out what I've done to make you think I'm going to run away with the nearest ring rat!"

"Not ring rat" he gulped.

"Then who!"

"Cody"

I stopped dead. I had no idea what he was talking about, "Cody?"

"Oh come off it I've seen you around him, roumers are flying everywhere!"

"You cannot be serious" I laughed bitterly, "Runnles? You think I'm fucking Runnles?! You think I'm fucking Runnles and somehow this means I don't want to be with you anymore - that I'm not waiting around and slowly but surely mentally destroying myself daily?"

His head bowed, his eyes sad, his shoulders slumped, he nodded yes.

"Thats nice Cena" He looked up slightly confussed, "It's nice to know how seriously you take my feelings towards you" My jaw set I stood ready to leave but he pulled me back down.

"I know you love me now, but I don't know that you will continue to and I know damn well I don't deserve you to wait around on me, more so if you can trade me in for the younger model" The look in his eye told me he was just as insane, just as needy, and just as hurt by all this than I was.

"John, I love you. Just as much as I did last month, or last year. Nothing - not even Runnels will change that. God I know how hard this is on you, I know how scary it is. I won't let you down John" He closed his eyes nodding.

"Why did you sleep with him? Just out of curiosity?"

"I didn't?"

"Randy please, he's told DiBaise all about it!" He looked angry.

"WHAT?"

"Oh thats nice fuck the kid and then deny it"

"John I've never slept with Cody!" I looked straight in his eyes, "Ever. Fuck I didn't even know he was gay"

"Randy he was out with everyone last week and told Ted all about it. I was sitting in the booth behind with Hunter - ask him! We heard every last detail! I mean I didn't know you where into handcuffs but hey-"

"John" I grabbed his jaw making him look me square in the eye. "I. Have. Never. Slept. With. Cody. Runnels!"

A confused look spread over his face, "but?"

"I'll see you later" I stood,

"Where are you going" He asked.

"To find Runnels" I called back. Ignoring his shouts of protests.

I entered the front of the hotel and seen a small framed blonde. I walked up slowly, arranging my face to my charming smile and leanded on the desk slightly, she looked up, eyed me quickly, blushed and then stumbled over her words "H-How may I help you?"

"Hi, I'm looking for my Friend Cody Runnels, I was wondering if you could tell me what room he was staying in"

"Oh" she looked disapointed, "I'm not supposed to give wrestlers hotel numbers out"

"If your a fan" she nodded, "Then I'm assuming you know who I am"

"Of course Mr. Orton"

"And you'll know we are friends" She nodded again, "So it's not like I'm some deranged fan, it's just he's really lazy and is ignoring his phone and I know if he doesn't get up just now then he'll miss his flight and won't make it to the pay per view!"

"Oh god I can't have that" I shook my head.

She put his name into the system and then turned to me "Room 221" I smiled

"Thank you beautiful" she blushed once more, and I rounded on the lifts.

I rappidly knocked on the door once more, Dibaise opened it.

"Randy?" he looked confused.

"Where is Cody?" I barked, Cody appered behind him.

"Oh hey Randy"

"Dibaise would you mind if I have a private word?"

He blushed ovbiously thinking the worst, "No just let me grab some things" He done so quickly and left.

Cody and flung himself onto the bed streching like a cat, "So, What can I do for you?"

"You can explain why there is a fucking story goign about that I fucked you last week?" His face paled.

"Um?"

"Cody Runnels don't play dumb with me I have your fathers number in my phone!"

"It was stupid. Ted kept teasing me because I've never been with a guy, so it got to much and I told him I had, I never gave him a name or anything, and so he kept guessing who it was. He kept thinking it was you, because of how much time we spend together training and stuff. Then the other night in the bar we where drunk and I made up a really stupid story about how we had done it - god I never would have said you if I thought he would tell!" I groaned.

"He didn't Hunter and Cena over head you - Don't worry I've put them in their place"

"I'm really sorry Randy" He bowed his head. "He just kept going on!"

"Why I thought he was straight - fuck I thouhgt you where"

"Well thats his point - If i've never been with a guy how do I know I don't like them - and he is straight" I smirked at the irony of this. It all looked so ovbious to me.  
>They where both gay, both liked each other, but where scared to admit it. They reminded me so much of John and myself, and of course Shawn and Hunter.<p>

It reminded me of how jelous John got thinking of me and Hunter together. How much it hurt him. How great sex was that night.

Maybe DiBiase thinking I was with Cody wasn't a bad idea.

"Well if it shuts him up let him belive that" I smiled at him, "Just be careful where you talk about it okay?" He looked up hopeful, and I could see why John was threatend by him. Cody had started to fill out as of late, but still had that boyish charm about him.

"Really?"

"Yeah most people think I'm a slut anyway whats one more to that list?" He laughed, "Stand" He did so confused. I pulled the sheet off the bed and pushed a pillow off the side, and rolled the cover up and put in on/off the corner, "Take your trousers and shirt off" He looked alarmed.

"So he thinks we've had sex again" He visably relaxed, pulling off his clothes throwing them at the bottom of the bed. I messed up his hair. "Okay I'm gonna leave now and I know he'll be in the lobby, curious as hell because it's Ted. I need you to Jog or something untill your lightly sweaty and then just laze on the bed - okay?"

"Okay" He laughed starting to jog.

"Laters Codes"

"Later Randy"

I done as I said I was gonna do. I seen Ted and made straight to him, "DiBiase" I barked and he growled at me,

"What?"

"You know nothing? Understand?"

"And what if I do"

"Then my career and Cody's goes down the drain and trust me I'll drag yours with me"

"I don't like how yours using him" I chuckled evily.

"Why cause you wanna do it instead?"

"I -" he stopped.

"What? Care about him?" His jaw hardend, "Then go tell him, before I decide to keep him"

"Fuck you!" He growled. walking away.

I shook my head when I heard "You're mean" in my ear.

"Auck I helped them and you know it" I smiled at Hunter.

"True, what state is Cody in?"

"I never slept with him, he lied to get Ted's attention" Hunter laughed out loud.

"Oh he is a bitch! What better way to get his attention than to prentend to sleep with your mentor"

"I don't think Cody's there yet, in terms of knowing. I think he's still at the best friend stage"

"Ahh, poor kid"

"I know right?"

"Talking of friends" I groaned knowing.

"John seems to think I'm gonna trade him in for the younger model, Cody"

"He just wants to feel safe Randy, only you can do that"

"I don't know how to H, I really don't"

"You'll figure it out" I sighed, nodding.

"I hope so"

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><p><em><strong><span>If you review I promise to have your babies :D<span>**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Not particularly long, but i like this one & believe it or not. I think the end is near ;) I know I might ACTUALLY finish this story after a year and a half of delays? **_

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><p>I started keeping a closer eye on Ted and Cody. Cody had taken a shine to me with an almost hero worship going on. Ted on the other hand saw me as a threat and had taken a huge disliking to me, which "straight" Cody didnt understand.<p>

Thank god this storyline ended soon.

The door knocked and we shouted "Come in"

John walked in, holding the WWE title over his shoulder. It was like a stab in the gut, a reminded as to why we weren't together.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to go over my match with Randy"

"Sure" Cody said chirply, and Ted nodded just following Cody out.

I turned to John confussed as we hardly ever went over singles matches, unless it as a pay per view. We just knew each other so well there was no need to.

"Got something special planned for tonight?"

"Not in particular. I just couldn't bear the thought of you in here alone with two potential gay men, who are younger, fitter and hotter than me" I threw my head back and laughed. I knew he was deadly serious, but John was acting completely irrational.

"Don't laugh at me" He sat himself down.

"Please" I asked, "Do tell me what you are going to do when we no longer have matches together?"

"Have a bad injury that forces me to leave WWE?"

"John" I warned seriously.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep this up Randy!" He groaned. I stood, taking his hand and pulling him towards me, hugging him. It felt wonderful just to hold him in my arms again.

"So getting injured is gonna make it better?" He hung his head low, which then settled onto my shoulder. I felt my heart start to race, my whole body pulled towards him. Out of my eye I seen the belt. I removed it from his shoulder placing it on the bench behind us, feeling a faint victory over it.

"No." His voice was right in my ear, his breath dancing along my bare chest, shoulder and neck. I knew if I didn't pull back soon I was gonna go over that line, the line he didn't want to cross. So I did. I felt cold and suddenly needy, that deep pain was settling in again. The same pain I didn't even notice had gone when I held him.

"God Randy, what am I doing to us?" I opened my eyes I didn't know where closed, and released a shaky breath.

"You're doing what you think is best for us in the long run John, it's a lot more than I could"

His eyes filled with tears and I didn't doubt for a second that the pained look on his face mirrored my own. I longed to hold him again but knew I couldn't. I wanted to take that look off of his face. He sat down on the bench beside me, and I did too.

"I'm so jealous of everyone around you!" He hissed, "How much time you can spend with them, how uncomplicated it is! How they can just be in the same room as you and not break the fuck down!"

"I know" I started fidgiting with my hands. There was a long silence.

"Do you" He started taking a deep breath, "Do you sleep anymore"

"No" I shrugged, "My dreams won't let me"

"Nightmares?" I shook my head no, laughing.

"No, that would be too kind, I uh I dream about us a lot & thats great and nice, but then you know I've got to wake up!" I shook my head, "and I don't like waking up" I sighed, "It hurts all the bloody time but when I wake up, in that moment when i can still remember lying with you or kissing you in the dream, that faint feeling of happyness still lingers and I can pratically smell you, or just feel you against me" I could hear myself almost whinning, "and you aren't there, and you aren't coming back with coffee or even so much as say hello. I just..."

"It's the worst part of the day. Waking up from what you want to living what you hate" He finished for me and I nodded. "I wish it wasn't the same for you!"

"Of course it's the same for me!" I hissed, "If it wasn't that would mean how we feel was diffrent"

"Sometimes I wish it was" I looked at him disgusted, "Sometimes I wish you would just move on"

"How can you say that?"

"Because the only way I get through each morning, is hoping that you don't feel the same way I do - that I'm not inflicting this pain onto you!"

"Well you are! And one day you're just gonna need to square yourself with that Cena!" I hissed deadly quitely, "Because I do hurt, and I do love you and I am not going anywhere and don't you dare fucking ask me to" I felt a tear roll down my face.

"I just want you to stop hurting Randy, is that so bad"

"No, it's not. I understand that I do - but there is only one way that will happen and nether of us plan it to happen until years from now"

"Years?" He looked suddenly fearful.

"Yes, years!"

"But?"

"But what John? We aren't retiring anytime soon - god damn it i'm barely turning 30!"

"You're willing to wait years?" Another tear rolled down John's face and I scoffed almost feeling deflated.

"What other choice do I have?"

"You have plenty of other choices"

"None that involve us, and thats the only real choice I have"

"But years Randy? We've bearly survived this year?"

"Well we'll just have to!"

"But years?"

"God damn it John yes! This was your idea and your fucking rules - I'm just following them!"

"Guys?" We both looked up to the door

"Yeah?" I called back.

"Match in 5" I nodded standing, he picked his belt up and put in back on his shoulder and the faint victory I felt earlier on disapeared, because yes. Maybe I could get him for 5 minutes but the WWE would always hold a bigger part in John's life than I did.

"Randy man yo-you've had enough" Cody slurred, and I shook my head.

"Not by a long shot - you on the other hand"

Cody snorted and I chuckled lightly, he was so innocent and pure, it was hard to feel angry around him. He oozed energy out of him and it was hard not to go with it. One of the reason's i had accepted his offer for drinks tonight, after the last few days with Cena I needed someone like Cody to clear my head.

"You want help up to your room?" I asked and he shook his head,

"No-nope! I have Ted!" I knew he meant to say more but he started to slide off his seat and his sentence was cut short as he caught himself.

"Yes, you do" A soild harsh sober voice chimed in, we both turned and there was Ted, giving me the evil eyes as he usually did these days. I felt sorry for him. Thinking that I had slept with the man he wanted, and said man was now claiming to be straight.

"Teddy!" Cody goshed overly excited to see Ted. I shook my head laughing, and he blushed slightly.

"How much have you had?" Ted smiled at him, the way he smiled while he looked at him made my heart melt - it was all there for anyone to see. Pure love, just waiting.  
>Always waiting.<p>

"No it's fine I was just having little drinks" He giggled

"Little drinks?" Ted looked at me confused.

"Shots" I confirmed and he rolled his eyes,

"So it's not so bad because they are small"

"They are also pure and not delutted with anything" Ted shook his head.

"Hey don't look at me it was Cody's idea!"

"Yeah don't blame Randall he looks after us!" Cody swayed slightly, and Ted wrapped his arm around Cody to steady him.

"Yeah, I suppose he does" Ted admitted, "Now come on you are going to bed"

"Night Randall"

"Night Guys" I laughed at Cody, and gave a small smile to Ted.

I turned back to my drink, nursing it now. Feeling very lonely but also not wanting to go back to the room, because sleep meant waking up.

"You can't stay here all night you know" I looked over to the source of the voice, and my breath got stole.

"I know John, but I'm in no hurry to leave"

"What if you have somewhere to be?" I looked up at him confussed, and he laughed, blushing slightly "Room 125"

"My Room's 26- oh" I stopped when I realised what he was implying.

"Finish that and get there" He walked away towards the lift to his room.

I looked around and seen the only other people left in the hotel bar where the staff and Shaun and hunter I raise and eyebrow at them and H waved me over. I picked up my drink, walking over knowing full well they had something to do with this.

"We will see you in the morning or afternoon rather, and yes it is our fault you are being pulled away from this ridicuasly expensive bar but please don't hate on us too much"

"What did you say?" I asked and they laughed.

"Tomorrow - now go!" Hunter laughed and I shook my head finishing my drink and leaving.

I pushed the button four or five times in the lift, getting impatient. The doors opened and Barbie walked in "oh Hey Randy!" She smiled, stopping, "How are you"

I growled slightly impatient knowing full well if I wasn't in a hurry she wouldn't have stopped me, "Yeah good yourself?"

"Yeah just heading out with the girls"

"Oh thats nice"

"Not doing anything yourself?" She hinted, and I almost choked on my own tongue, she looked alarmed, so i pushed it off as a cough.

"Uh, No caught a little bit of the flu, so just heading to my room after a night cap" I caughed again for good messure and she backed away from me slightly.

"Oh - well get better soon yeah?

"Awh thanks" Cough, "You girls have a good night" She slipped into the lift without another word.

I started pratically running down the hall. 103, 107, 114, 118, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125.  
>I took a deep breath in, knocked on the door, and tried to ignore all the bad thoughts and feelings running though me.<p>

The door clicked open and he let me in, we both came face to face with a small smile.

"I wasn't sure if you where going to come" He stated.

"Of course I would, I always do and probabaly always will"

"I know" His smile broke free, it was my smile. Dimples and all. He stepped foward kissing me, and I clung to him for dear life. I had forgotten the sheer taste of him! I pushed him against the wall, and ran my hands under his shirt, god his stomach felt amazing.

_Beep Beep... Beep Beep._

I sat up hitting the alarm and sighed. Rolling over onto my pillow again and screamed, screamed will all my might, till my lungs ran out of breath. Panting, I felt the tears begin to fall.

That one had been particuarly real.

"Fuck these dreams!" I cried into the pillow, "Fuck this WHOLE situation"

My pain in my chest felt as though I was about to cave in.

"Fuck, FUCK FUCK!" I roared.

Every fucking morning, every fucking time!

I pulled myself out of bed and tried to focus on what I had to do today. Had a shower and went to the bus to travel to tonights arena, headphones blaring avoiding everyone.

_**Life gets fucked sometimes, and you aren't lucky enough to die from the pain.**_

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><p><em><strong>Try not to hate me? Review is love :D<strong>_


	20. Chapter 20

A little from John's point of view! With some Fun Shunter :D  
>Enjoy.<p>

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><p>I looked up from my seat on the plane and watched as Randy climbed into a window seat by himself, headphones still blaring, not looking at anyone. I knew that look - I often wore it.<br>It's a look of pain, mixed with lack of sleep with a dose of longing.

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes. I left someone plop down beisde me, I opened my eyes and seen Hunter bright smile looking at me.

"Good morning kind sir" I looked around and seen Shawn in the seat in front, having the same goofy look in his face, "How be you this fine day"

"You guys creep me out - I hope you know that?" They both laughed and I envied them so much. How their life worked and clicked to perfectly, I mentally chuckled at the irony of my own joke.

"D'aw Johnny - don't be mean!" Shawn pouted.

"I'm not" I growled, "Just leave me alone for five minutes"

"Hey!" Hunter said, "We are only trying to help - Randy looks like a tired lost puppy and you look like someone just kicked said dog? What happend"

A mental flash of Randy calling me master while I took him started and I found it hard to pull myself back from that memory.

"Uh nothing"

"Uhuh?" Shawn tried again, "Then why has someone kicked your puppy?"

"Stop saying that no - one kicked any puppy - we've just spoken a lot lately and it's been hard!" They exchanged a look of grief, they have been so good to me, I should really be more grateful.

"I defiently think someone kicked your puppy" Shawn shrugged and I growled at him.

"What Shawn is trying to say" Paul smirked, "Is you have kicked Randy while he's been down" Another wave of guilt took over me and I sighed, " I mean he literally hasn't spoken to anyone today except if it has been like you know a legal requirement to get through customs?" Shawn nodded.

"Do you two just watch us? Like? How do you even know half of these things"

"Trust me John, if we where aloud to watch you two-" Shawn started sleazly and Paul slapped him upside the head.

"Shawn turn around face the front and think about what you've done" Paul smirked as Shawn done as he was told, smirking all the way. I shook my head at them.

"Plus don't you two usually try double act us?" I asked him.

"Does he look like he wants any company?" I glanced over at him once more, his eyes closed lost in the music, shaking my head no gulping, "Do I look like I want a black eye?" I shook my head once again chuckling.

"So I'm the lucky one today"

"By the look on your face yeah?" I titlted my head ovbiously confused.

"You just smiled" Hunter shrugged glancing at him again. I sighed seeing his point Randy hadn't smiled all day. I would know, I stare a lot, watch how the lines on his face move with each expression, watch as he bobs his head along with the music. It's gotten to the point I know what song he's listening to via the look on his face.

The plane took off quickly and I sat most of the hour ride in deep thought. The more I thought of Randy the more I wanted him, the more I needed him. It was always this way. I just couldn't comprehend how I could get it.

"Hey H?" He looked down at me from his book, "How do you two do it?" I didn't have to explain he knew what I meant.

"Because we have to - staying apart isn't an option for us" He shrugged as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

"But how do you get away with it? I mean I don't know about you two but we aren't exactly quiet when we - you know"

Shawns head popped up smirking "Stick one in him? Go at it? Pull the plug hole?" I blushed and he laughed harder causing some people to look in our direction.

"Shawn!" I warned as people went back to their own business and he continued to cackle.

"Thats how" Paul chuckled, "You take the whole thing so seriously, it doesn't have to be complicated" He shrugged again, "You and Randy are so intense ALL the time - when was the last time you two just had a coffee? Spoke about bad bumps and shit story lines?"

"I don't even know" I sighed sadly wanting the plane aject my seat and put me out of my misery.

"People already see you as this couple - like a work force - a team! Brothers! No one questioned how much time you spent together before and they aren't going to start now!" Shawn smiled, "You putting extra enphisis on everything - the only people stopping you to from being together is you guys"

"But if someone found out -"

"You guys have been at it for almost a year now, on and off yeah, and no one is any the wiser" Paul tried to reason with me, "Trust us the first year is the hardest, working out how when and why"

"But once thats worked out" Shawn smiled at Paul, "It's like heaven" I looked away from them feeling like I was introuding on a personal moment, before realising we where on a plane full of co - workers. People walking by every second, taking them in looking at each other like this all the time. And brushing it off as a bit of brotherly love.

"If you want to make it work, I know you guys can"

"Of course I want to make it work" I snapped darkly,

"I wasn't questioning it" Paul smirked.

"Sorry - I just envy you both so much"

"Don't" Shawn shook his head, "We still have so much to over come, telling our kids for a start" Both of them tore away from each other, scared, "You and Randy could have it all without complications - we envy how easy you two could have it if you just!" Shawn trailed off and i bowed my head in shame because as always he was right. He had done from the very begining.

"I just don't want to us to lose our careers over this"

"Hello" Paul waved his hand, "CEO of the company" He winked, "Not gonna happen - I've looked out for Randy for a long time and Shawn for you - because we knew before you two did - we wouldn't let that happend"

"Ever" They both smiled at me.

I glanced over at Randy who was still ovbilous to the world, and I let it all sink in.

"It could really work?"

"YES! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD" Shawn shouted and once again attracted everyones attention, "Uh - Hi" he waved at the other pasengers. Paul glared at him once more, "I'll just turn around and think about what I've done" I chuckled to the back of his head sliding down the chair.

"If it's only your career you are worried about John, then go for it, I promise you here and now. It won't affect you - I mean you know how much Vince loves you - if it came out he would just add it to the list of things he could use that make you the perfect face of the company"

"No - I know that" I shook my head, "But Randy? He's got a hell of a history with the company and -"

"And I take care of that - always!" He said firmly.

"We always will" Shawn whispered through the crack in the two seats in front and I shook my head laughing.

"What did you put in his coffee this morning?" I laughed.

"You know all of this, so really Cena whats bothering you? What are you really scared of?"

I took a deep breath, this talk had been good for me but should I go on? "He can do so much better. I want him to do better"

"That's it?" Paul scoffed, "You don't feel good enough for him?"

"Well yeah?" I put my head down ashamed.

"John do you remember how he reacted when you told him Cody lied about sleeping with him?" I closed my eyes and nodded trying to forget that night, the pain and the horror of thinking he had been with someone else.

"Do you remember how I reacted?"

"Yes, lots of tears, drink and self hatred! - but that's it John. that's part of being IN love, you think the sun shines out their arse so much that you do think they could do better, and of course you want them best for them, but think about it John, he doesn't want anyone else! If he did he would have had them by now - surely if this proves anything it proves that? Proves that after all of this fuckery he would rather have fucking nightmares than be with someone else! He walked up to Cody's room that day and if he wanted he could have shown Cody how in denial he was, he could have had Evan if he wanted him who is constantly throwing himself at Randy - and Randy doesn't even notice - and lets not even comment on the ring rats! But with you fuck you can't even bend over to tie your show laces without him piratically burning you a new arsehole!" he took a breath from his semi - rant and I took a deep breath also letting it sink in.

"Randy Orton could have any other person on this planet he wanted" I confirmed.

"Except the only one he wants" Shawn concluded sadly. I glanced between the two of them.

"Just think what we've said over John. It's make or break time" Paul pleaded.

"We are just sick of seeing you both so sad" Shawn pouted.

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><p><em><strong>It is now 05.11 in the Uk and I am very sleepy - please forgive any mistakes and review?<strong>_  
><em><strong>p.s I really like this chapter. <strong>__**Smut soon I promise my lovely's!**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**I don't really like this part but you crazy ladies wanted some smut - locker room smut at that! Enjoy and review.**_

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><p>They where right, very right. If I could get get past my insercurities this COULD work. Since it was only a house show I didn't have a singles match with Orton but a six man tag - me with Shawn and Hunter V Legacy.<p>

I was making my way to my private dressing room, pratically skipping at the post - match adreline and the thoughts of how I could make it up to him, make it right.

I pushed open the small door and stopped in my tracks when I seen him sitting on my chair head in his hands, still in his ring gear from our match. "Randy?" I breathed letting the door swing shut behind me.

I looked up at the call of my name, to busy lost in my thoughts to even realise the door had been opened. I stood quickly, loving his smile, how it reached his eyes. It took some of the pain from my chest.

"I'm sorry - I've just had a really shitty week and you are the only person I want to even be around right now" I started to explain myself, not really sure why I was there myself.

"God you look good in that ring gear" He muttered and my head spun.

"What?" I asked confused. His eyes raked over my skin, taking it in. I took slow steps towards him, loving where his eyes lingered. Even just for tonight I told myself. Just a little while. Hell even just a kiss.

We where inches apart now, both of us panting lightly. Tension clear in the air.

"John?" I asked slowly and he looked up at my face smile still lingering, those baby blues pouring into me " If I kissed you right now, would you hate me?"

"Randy" He smiled brightly, "I'll hate you if you don't" My breath hitched as the words left his mouth. I grabbed his neck pulling him into me, pushing out lips together. I pushed him against the wall, rubbing out groins together loving the moan that left his mouth. I ran my hand over his already exposed chest, loving the feel of his hard abs.

"God Randy" He moaned as I moved to his neck, losing control of myself. I nipped at the scar on his neck loving how his fingers clawed at my back as I done so.

His hands slipped past my ring gear and pulled my dick free, my legs almost gave way as he started to tug. I all but ripped his shorts off as I made my way to doing the same, returning to his mouth to mute the noise coming from our mouths.

Even if just for tonight I can have him. I swore to myself.

"Fuck baby" he groaned as I continued to work him like I knew he loved. I pulled away from john sinking to my knee's sucking two fingers, before taking his member in my mouth. A long slow groan came from his mouth as he bucked into mine.

God the taste of him! I let my hand go under him, and slide up his crack teasing him, letting my finer tips trance his entrance lightly "Really Randy don't tease me - I can't handle it!" I smirked and shoved two fingers up his hole. He groaned lowly and I chuckled. Working my fingers into his hole, I kept my eyes on his face. It was pure bliss watching him become undone like this, knowing it was me that was doing it. I finally pushed than little buddle of nerves and he yelped eyes popping open.

"Baby I really - won't gonna hold out for much longer" He moaned. I kept pushing expertly on his spot while hollowing out my checks, letting him skull fuck me as he clawed at the back of my skull. Holding me in place. Ignored the urge to gag, focusing only on his face and his sounds.

"Fuck, Randy - Gonna" and with no other warning he came, shooting down my throat. I sucked off every last drop, coninuing to go even after i could feel him starting to go soft. God knows I didn't want this to end. He slid down the wall, exhausted smile on his face. "God Randy" I smiled back proudly, happy that I could still get him off, happy I could still make him feel anything

"I love you" he said as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I love you too" I said with sadness in my voice. His face changed to one of sadness also. He crawled forward, taking my face in both his hands.

"Don't say it like loving me hurts you" He pleaded.

"No - not being able to love you hurts me" I sucked in my bottom lip.

He crawled onto my lap and whispered in my ear, "Take me now" I done a double take.

"Come again?"

"Possibily. Now. Put. Your. Dick. In. My. Ass." I didn't need telling twice, as he lifted him self off me and onto my already hard, leaking dick. He started to push down onto me and his tight heat was mind shattering.

"Fuck I forgot how tight you where John" I muttered as I tried not to push my dick all the way in quickly in fear of hurting him. Once finally in I waited a moment, feeling his walls strech around me, rocking only gently. I picked him up, pushing us both forward so he was on his back. "You always did love me on my back" he chuckled.

"I don't understand where this has come from?" i asked kissing his neck, and shoulder.

"We can talk later, but right now we are taking that frown off your face" He smiled, and his words hit me like a ton of bricks.

We can talk later.

"Really?" He nodded, and pushed up onto me, "Properly talk?" Another nod.

"Randy fucking move!" he winned! I chuckled at his impatience, and pulled all the way out and slammed back into him, making his scream out.

"You don't get to call the shots right now baby" I chuckled into his ear, his eyes filling with lust.

"God I love it when you get all controlling!" I snapped my hips forward again and he bit his lip. I knew just like he did with me that I wasn't going to last long.

"Just let it all out baby" He said as if he read my mind and I picked my the pace slamming into him, setting a brutal pace, knowing he wouldn't walk properly in the morning. John pushed back on every thrust and I knew I would suffer also with going bareback.

"Fuck baby cum in me" John moaned and I doubled my efforts to give him what he wanted.

"Fucking hell your a slut Cena" I hissed as my groin started to coil.

"Yeah, but I'm your slut" and that was all it took, those five words and I shot everything I had into John. Once I came down I pulled out, kissing him slowly. I rolled over onto the floor onto my back.

"What even?" I asked and John chuckled.

"I'll explain once we get back - right now we need to get changed and get out of here" He smiled holding his hand out to help me up.

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><p><em><strong><span>Review? Much love bitches.<span>**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**So I was gonna have this as a really feelsy - we can never be - break your heart final.**_  
><em><strong>&amp; then I decided you guys had waited long enough for this end to come.<strong>_  
><em><strong>So I kept the heart breaking stuff and decided to give you a fluffy, all rounded up ending. <strong>_

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><p>I walked into John's room still confussed but with a satisfied grin on my face. It had been a long time since I had came that hard or that fast, my dreams and my hand didn't do him any justice.<p>

"So?" I asked and he smirked clicking the door shut.

"So" He replied, walking towards me, stopping inches from me.

"John you have to explain to me what exactly justed happend back there" and he chuckled, wrapping his arm around my waist. My head swooned as he pulled me closer slightly. I grabbed his wrist pulling him off me, his smile vanished, he started to question me, "John I need to know where I stand - was it an act of deperation? A one night thing? What?"

"Can't a man just be fucked by the man he loves?" John chuckled lightly.

"Not in your book no! He can't - he can't be seen with him - fuck he can't talk to him unless it involves work! NOW WHAT JUST HAPPEND?!" Panic setting in, he promised we would talk. He promised me and John never lies not to me and he can't start now.

"Baby" He tried and I took a step back, not fully trusting this not to be another cruel dream.

"John" I tried again, "You tell me right now if this is a dream or real"

"Of course it's real" He dipped his head, "How often do we have a happy ending in your dreams?"

"Always" I breathed, which is why I am scared - fuck terrified - if this isn't real and I wake up screaming into a pillow in twenty seconds I..." I shook my head not even able to comprehend the pain.

"Randy" He took a step forward again, "How often do we fuck in your dreams"

"nine times out of ten"

"And then we talk?"

"We always go to - get so far before..." I trailed off again and John looked sad again.

"God Randy what have I done?" He stroked my check and I flinched, any moment now my alarm would go off and I would be stuck without him again.

"You said we would talk" He nodded, sitting down on the bed patting the space beside him. I sat down.

"I've been talking to Shawn and Paul lately, a lot" I nodded hanging onto every words, scared to miss even a flicker, "They made me realise I'm making much more out of this situation than I had to"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I defended scared.

"It doesn't have to be all or nothing all the time" I was truely intrested, "Look my major problem lately hasn't been worry of getting caught, actually the more and more I watch those two flaunt their shit around it makes me realise everyone in the lockerroom is blind - fuck I was blind! We just accepted that they where both part of each others lifes without an explaintion as to why - they just are - because reasons!" He struggled and I smirked loving when he got flustered with this words because it so rarely happended to the spokesman of wwe.

"The same way people just know we are part of each others lives" He smiled at me taking my hand and I laced out fingers together, "since before anything ever happend! There was us, together, a team" He smiled again, "And it's acceptable without the details, and when shit got all fucked up then people started to ask questions, without details people just accept us. I don't need to be worried about been seen leaving with you or whatever, because no one would notice!"

"I've been trying to tell you this for so long" I shook my head.

"I know but I had to find it out on my own, you know this yourself" I nodded knowing he was right.

"So what have you been scared of lately?" He took a deep breath.

"I'm scared I'm not good enough" Looking down at our hands he frowned, eyes telling me so much more than his words did.

"John" I breathed and once again he cut over me.

"No really Randy, that night when I heard Cody say those things, I wasn't even angry at you for doing it - yes I know it's not true now - but if you had I would have been happy for you" He sighed, "I would have understood why"

"John I-"

"Yeah maybe I'm good enough now, but I'm not getting any younger, and I am not what I used to be in any sense of the mannor! What if you get bored?"

"I won't"

"But how do you know" He pouted.

"How do I know you won't get bored of me?"

"Because you are the great Randy Orton, sexiest man alive" He replied sadly, "Could have anyone that he wants"

"I want you, John Cena. The man who always does the right thing, with those blue eyes and dimples" He rolled his eyes laughing, "God John you get me going like no one else could dream of. Do you remember how this started?" He threw his head back and laughed exposing his scar on this throat.

"Of course I do" We grinned at each other.

"I have never felt like that in a match in my whole life. Ever. And I know I won't again. The only person who gets to so angry at nothing is you!"

"And thats a good thing?"

"Of course, within seconds you can take me from being angry as hell to being so peaceful. No one else gets me like you! There is NO one else - not ever!"

"How do you know?!"

"Because there has never been anyone else!" I tried so hard to explain my self, "When all else is said and done it's always been you. When I've been injured, when I'm down, when I found out Lana wasn't mine - it was you - and I didn't want anyone else! When I was so SICK of these fucking dreams! Who did I come to? The person giving me them! My Divorce, arguing with my dad, my suspensions! Jesus John, It's always been you - from the drugged up days of OVW to the last of my days. It. Will. Be. You" I took a deep breath, "Don't ask me how I know okay, I just do. I trust you with everything in my life, everything breakable, everything I have left! And if you trust me with anything trust me with that - I will always love you! I don't care who you think I would be 'good with' or how young they are or who shows and intrest. I don't see anyone but you and you alone!"

"Really?" He asked pathetically.

"Yes! Really really!"

"What happens when we finish our careers?" I eyed him.

"We find a state we like, we buy two houses near each other and we live out the rest of our lifes as neighbours, moving from one house to the next every other night"

"You're serious" He asked.

"Unless by that time you are happy to admit we're together then we can live together" I smirked.

"Yeah, somewhere near the lakes - you like fishing" He shook his head chuckling to himself.

"Randy you don't even have a house now and you expect me to believe you could have two in the future?"

"Yeah? Hey we could start looking now - if you want? Give us somewhere to go when we have the rare day off"

"The great Randy Orton, player of the masses, talking about buying a house and settling down" He stroked my face, my smile playing on his lips.

"Only with you" I kissed him lightly, testing the waters. He kissed back, pulling me closer to him so he was lying on his back and I was on top of him, legs tangled. It wasn't a hungry kiss, it was slow and peaceful. There was no needyness to this, just simple want.

"I think we could actually do this" He stated.

My heart leaped into my troat, "Really?" I breathed.

"Really, and I mean it this time - no more fucking around. This is us and we are together, with two houses and fishing trips to look forward too" I threw my head back and laughed, really laughed for the first time in a long time.

"I really suck at fishing" I sulked,

"I'll teach you"

"Promise?" He nodded,

"If you finally teach me how to fire a gun?" I started lightly kissing his neck.

"Baby, I think I already sucessfully done that" He panted lightly giggling, pushing me away from his neck.

"How are we getting my car collection to the new house?" He demanded.

"Baby we have years to work that out" I rolled my eyes thinking of the garage John had that was three times the size of his actual house.

"Well we better start thinking" I laughed knowing he was deadly serious.

"God, I love you"

"I know" He grinned, "I know and I love you too" He pulled me down to kiss him and I groaned just loving the feel of his body under me, his hands holding me in place like he never wanted me to go anywhere.

"I guess I should by those two a hamper or something?" I asked John and he threw his head back.

"Yeah I think we should, they are so sick of out shit it is unreal"

"They love us really" He nodded, stupid grin still on his face eyes twinkling.

"You're sure this isn't a dream" He shook his head, "No alarm?" He pulled his phone out, pressed a few buttons and his own alarm tone started playing.

"See you aren't getting away from me that easily!" I shook my head.

"Not sure I want too!" I turned off John's phone the beeping starting to get annoying. John rolled us over so he was on top of me, and just looked at me.

"I missed that" He smiled lightly, and I gave him a quesioning look, "Seeing you look happy. Not pretending to, or just down right being a miserable cunt. Seeing that look in your eyes" His hand cupped my face and his thumb trailed over my cheekbone, "I hate what I done to us" I sat up holding him in position.

"We got there in the end" I mumbled, "thats all that matters"

"I know, but I'll never forgive myself"

"Well I do so" I shrugged, "Stop being whinny, and get off me. We're going out" He raised and eyebrow, "I haven't had a good reason to drink for a while"

"No, you are right" He nodded, "We have reason to be drinking tonight" getting off me and going towards the shower.

After a while we where both ready to leave, I kept watching him convinced something was going to happen, Punk'd camera's, waking up, John changing his mind. Something, but it never did.

"Ground rules?" I eyed him,

"Rules" He asked.

"We need to put down guidelines for when we are in public, so we know what to expect of each other" I explained, "I won't have you freaking out on me again" He nodded.

"No of course" He nodded, "How about we don't do anything we wouldn't have done as friends?"

I scoffed, "John that excludes nothing except physically fucking"

"And it's exactly what people expect" He winked, "No more complications, just enjoying ourselfs, we'll work it out. Paul and Shawn did - and we can just follow their lead" He smiled at me and I nodded.

"Nothing we wouldn't have done as friends - got it" I opened the door and he followed.

Slidding into a booth in the hotel bar I gave John his drink and we smiled at each other, "To fishing and shooting things" He lifted up his drink and I tapped it.

"To fishing and shooting things" I laughed.

"Fishing and shooting things" We both turned to see Shawn grinning like an idiot, "Now I know you boys are not planning a hunting trip without gold old uncle hbk" I rolled my eyes as Shawn slid in beside John.

"Shawn you really need to give stay away from them, you are border line obsessed" Hunter groaned and I laughed. Shifting to he could sit beside me.

"Hey! helped get them here and smiling - I should at least be invited hunting"

"Shawn that is not how it works" Hunter warned him and both John and I laughed as Shawn pouted.

"But I love hunting!"

"But you don't get to go on the honeymoon trip just because you helped plan the wedding - now go get me a drink before I divorce you" Shawns pout tripled in size but he done as he was told.

"I am sorry - I need to get him a leash or something" Paul grumbled smiling after his lover.

"Nah don't be - we are greatful" I stated, and John nodded.

"Eteranlly"

"So everything is good now?" He asked eyeing us carefully.

"Perfect" Shawn returned with a tary of drinks and we all eyed him.

"What theres always a wedding reception isn't there? I can at least go to that?" Before Paul could say anything I stepped in.

"Yes Shawn, you can come to the Wedding reception!"

"Wedding Reception?" We looked up to see Barbie lookign excited, "Who's getting married?" I glanced at John and then smirked.

"Me and John!"

"Isn't it great" Shawn goshed putting his head on his hands and batting his eyelids at her sarcastically.

"Oh you guys I got excited there - thinking of an actual wedding!" She brushed it of.

"But Barbie what do you mean?" She rolled her eyes.

"Guys can't get married yet fucktards"

"Oh No - JOHN WHAT WILL WE DO?" He dramatically fainted onto my lap and we all laughed.

"You guys are on crack or something" She shook her head walking over to join her group of friends in the far corner and John resumed normal sitting position.

"Nothing we wouldn't do as friends" I repeated to him and he nodded still laughing.

"Yeah" John muttered, "It's backwards as hell - like flirting with disqualification"

"But we get by as we must" Paul smiled.

I lifted up my shot Shawn had brought us all "To our fucked up situations and flirting with disqualification" they all repeated and we knocked back the first shot of many that evening!

* * *

><p><em><strong><span>I really loved this story, and am sorry it took so long to finish.<span>**_  
><em><strong><span>If anyone wants a shawnhunter spin off.**_  
><em><strong><span>Or like a 10 year later post. Let me know?<span>**_  
><em><strong><span>Cause I might just. <span>**_

_But really thank you for being part of this story - review and let me know about the other bits and bobs._  
><em><span>I shall be doing some more one shot stuff soon with this pairing and some others.<span>_  
><em><span>Also don't be afraid to send me a promtrequest - I can't always imagine peoples pairings but if I can I'll do what i can with it :) 3._  
><em><span>Reviews as always are love 3.<span>_


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